When you first go abroad, you will definitely encounter disagreement! Physical discomfort is secondary, and language and cultural discomfort are really a headache. He is not fluent in English and is not familiar with foreign culture, so he definitely makes many jokes!
But now looking back, these embarrassing things are also part of our hard work in the United States. Let’s see if you are more mature than you before? Today I will summarize the latest versions of 99 jokes we made when we first went abroad, reviewing the past and learning the new things for everyone to have fun on the weekend!
1. I was in line for an entry inspection. Because I didn’t sleep much the night before, I was very sluggish. A white uncle next to me probably said to me out of concern: how are you going? I replied stupidly at that time. The man nodded and stopped talking. The more he thought about it, the more he became stupid.
2. The first time I called TAXI, the other party asked Where you from, I answered CHINA, and I was still wonderingly calling taxi and still divided into nationality? The other party may think I was funny and said sorry, we can not do that! When I heard that it was so popular, why did there be racism? Just ask: Why? The other party was stunned for a long time and hung up...
3. When he left the station, the monthly ticket was swallowed by the machine. Then he asked the station staff and asked me where are you from (which station I came from). I blurted out of China.
4. My friend rode a bicycle on a freeway.
5. A friend who just arrived in US came to New York and wanted to see the Statue of Liberty, but he didn't know the way. So I caught a foreigner on the roadside.
Hi, do you know where is the free woman?
Old Bai was stunned for a long time and hesitated: "I... don't know,Tell me when you know it."
(The Statue of Liberty is Statue of Liberty, remember!)
6. A classmate said she was going to buy the latest Chanel model, but she pronounced channel...
7. My friend's boyfriend is so fierce. When he first came, he went to the supermarket. When he asked him if he wanted cash back. He thought he had money to buy things, so he said he wanted it! When someone asked him how much he wanted, he said to him: as much as possible!
8. My friend didn't know anyone when he first came, so he tried to make friends in class. One day, I thought a white guy was pretty good, so I wanted someone’s phone number and became friends in the future, so I asked: HOW MANY IS YOU PHONE NUMBER? White people said: TEN. (Canadian numbers are ten digits)
9. When I first arrived, I went to BURGER KING for dinner. After ordering the burger, I asked me if I wanted the sauce. I said I wanted it. I asked, which one? I forgot what to say about ketchup. After thinking for a long time, I came up with a JAM, but I still couldn't understand it. Finally, I said angrily, IT'S UP TO YOU. (So arrogant)
10. My friend just came and took the bus. Someone greeted him very friendly and said How is it going. He said go to school.
11. I just came to ESL and went to JOB FAIR after asking for leave from the teacher. When the teacher came back, he asked in the class how? I wanted to say too many foreigners. Answered: TOO MANY FORIENGERS! The teacher said: YOU ARE THE FORIENGER IN CANADA.
12. I went to McDonald's to buy fried chicken wings. People said they didn't sell it. I asked them seriously why...
13. When I first came, I went to McDonald's for dinner and didn't have a napkin, and then I told people that I wanted paper. The man brought me a piece of white paper later and asked do you need a pen? I fainted for a long time, and then went to the bathroom to wash my hands.
14. When I first came, everyone was very saving. I thought that this is not rmb, it was so expensive. I had to convert a bottle of Coke to buy it. Five men went to buy McDonald's one day, but they couldn't understand anything. If you want to say, just buy a cheaper one. All five people bought the same one.
When I paid the money, I asked, "sure?" My friend was still very depressed, why are you doing? Can't you? As a result, when I got it, I saw happy meal sweating. Five old men were sitting there eating happy meal with toys... (Happy meal: children's set meal)
15. I remember one. My classmate went to eat McDonald for the first time but became nervous after entering and said loudly: Iwant to this han baobao, saying while pointing out that the other party was at a loss for a moment, and my classmate repeated it n times.
16. When we first arrived, we were three of us, good friends, two women and one man.One day I went to the market together. The boy wanted to buy eggplant, so he came up and asked, "how much for one kilometer?" Another girl and I felt too embarrassed and silently pretended not to know him. (Kilometer: kilometer)
17. Winter is coming soon, and I want to buy snow boots, so I asked strangers on the bus where I could buy them. As a result, I was bald and said snow boots to snow boots (mumi...).
18. I went to JFK to find a staff member to change the boarding pass. After that, I said enjoy your flight. I said you too... The staff and the audience in line were so surprised!
19. When I first came, I often said you too. As a result, my homestay mom bought me a birthday cake on my birthday and told me happy birthday. As a result, I quickly said you too.
20. I went to help me buy something and wanted to buy Balenciaga, but I couldn't tell the brand's English name at once. I called balijia in a hurry. I still can't forget the salesperson's expression...
21. When I called taxi, I sent taxi nervously into sexy. So... the following conversation happened--"Are u sexy driver?"---"what?"
22. On the first day I lived in the dormitory, I found two faucets of cold water and hot water in the room. Because someone told me that cold water in the United States could be drunk directly, I thought hot water was the same, so I was excited to make a cup of coffee with hot water... (In fact, cold water can be drunk, hot water cannot be drunk)
23. When I first came to the United States to go to the outlet, my friend asked me to bring him the cheapest watch in a famous brand store. I asked the clerk: which one is the cheapest. The clerk was very kind, and I felt upset when I remembered this.
24. Working as a cashier, I learned the word sack. Once when a handsome guy bought good things and checked out, I asked him if he wanted a bag, so he asked him how to do you need sacks. He looked up at me with a surprised look on his face. At that time, I was probably very bad when I came to the United States. After thinking about it, I might have pronounced sacks as sex... Now I feel so powerless when I think about it.
25. I talked about a friend, and I queued up in the school cafeteria to get the beef and asked how mature it was. My friend originally wanted to be familiar with it, but I didn't know what to think, and a saying "Original please" popped up scared Brother Black who was frying steak.
26. My mother told me one. She was having a meal in the United States and others asked her if she wanted French fries. She kept wondering what this is, is it French steak?
27. I stood by the roadside waiting for someone, and then I was bored and shook there. Then a kind old man came over and asked me, "are you in the trouble?" I said No. He said with his back, "oh, I thought you wanna poop!" So I will never shake on the roadside in my life!
There is still a trip to sit on the side of the road, and then one after another, someone asked me, "are you OK?" and they all wanted to send me to the hospital.
28. I went to buy coffee once, and then a foreigner chatted with me and said: Hi What'S Up! I didn't know what happened at that time, so I started to explain to him what I was doing. Then the foreigner said embarrassedly, yes, I'm just saying hello to you. Actually, I know what it means in my heart, but my body is faster than my brain! It feels so embarrassing to think about it now!
29. When I first came to the United States, people said sorry, and I replied: you're welcome.
30. I went to buy an iPhone 6 and told the clerk directly that I wanted to love - Crazy-Liu (six without English), and then the clerk thought about it and said it was right...
31. I stayed in a hotel on the first day of my trip, and asked for slippers, and then I said I wanted Flipper for a long time... The front desk said "we don't have it". I didn't believe it yet, so I showed my phone to someone for a long time and insisted on asking for it. The other person said it was Flip Flops, and then I suddenly realized it. By the way, why don’t there be free slippers in the American Imperial Hotel?
32. I went to the museum and asked the administrator where the bathroom was, but it turned out to be where is restaurant.
33. Go to a hotel to manage people to tomato sauce...
34. At the beginning, I can never tell the difference between six and sex, sheet and shit, bitch and beach... I dare not use it at all...
35. I have to read the text in ESL class, and there is a sentence "he put on a shirt," I missed r, and read it directly as "he put on a shit," The English teacher looked dark...
36. I used contact lenses and said it was condom.Walking into the store, "I wanna buy condom", the male clerk's face twitched unnaturally...
37. When I first arrived in Canada, I thought I would buy a footlong meatball when I went to subway, but I blurted out that I got a football.
38. The first time I went to the family doctor for a physical examination, I told people that i wanna make an appointment for the annual check in. The doctor was stunned for a moment and reacted and said oh annual check up? sure… (Check in is entering the level, Check up is checking)
39. I couldn’t remember anything at first, but it was too far away. After reading the comments, I laughed out loud and I remembered that when I first came to the United States, I couldn’t tell the difference between “guy” and “gay” and “gay”, and I didn’t make many jokes on the pronunciation. It was not until N years later that I felt relieved and boldly used it.
40. Once the landlord asked me: Did u eat anyting yet? I said no. She repeated after hearing this: so u didn't eat anything. I said yes. The old landlord hesitated and asked again did u eat? I said no. She continued: so u didn't eat? I said yes, probably she was going to collapse at that time...
41. Not long after I started working, an A/R of a company called to urge for a check. I asked him as an example which company he called. The man said politely: "This is xxx calling from Beach Brother." I was very happy to understand it, but because I was not familiar with the company name, I thought to write down the company name first so that I could not forget it later.
was so proud that he began to spell the name of the other company and said seriously: "b.i.t.c.h...bitch, correct?" . . . . The man finally couldn't hold back his anger and shouted to me like a roar: "NO!!! B.E.A.C.H...BEACH!!!!"
In the next year, he didn't have any business dealings with this company...sweat.
42. When I first came, I often saw cars on the road writing EMS. I wanted to say that China Post is so powerful. But many years later, I found that it was someone else's Emergency's car...
43. I just came and got lost and asked a foreign girl the way home. Someone told me that I wanted to say thank you, but it turned out to be fuck you. The little girl's face turned pale immediately...
44. When I went to McDonald's, I pointed to the set meal above and ordered a pleasing one. The foreigner asked me what drink I wanted to drink. At that time, I didn't know it was a set meal. I thought it would save money. I stopped drinking it, so I said no, no, and the foreigner even asked a u sure? I was still grateful and thought, "I won't buy it, I won't let you make money." Alas... I lost!
45. I went out to cover the road and got lost and asked for directions in stuttering English. I guess the foreigner didn't understand it very much, so he pointed me in a direction, and I also heard yes and the like. Then I happily walked on the highway...
46. The first time I went to play paintball with foreigners, I played the kind of robbing flags. Because of the first time playing, I kept running with a teammate who seemed very professional, and ran to the other party's base by hiding bullets along the way. We all died, and the other party was left with only one person looking at the hometown.
I heard the foreigner say a lot of terms to me, but I didn't understand it either. He saw that I didn't understand, so he said to me: it's easy just cover me when i go out. After that, he shouted: cover me! Then he ran out. I didn't understand that he asked me to cover him, and he ran away before I could think clearly.
I pulled off a piece of canvas from a box, threw it on his head, and covered him. As a result, he died gloriously. At that time, most people were dead and watched the battle. Everyone laughed.
47. I went to a convenience store to buy a bottle of Coke (Coke), and blurted out that it turned out to be Cock (...)... I can't forget how much the salesperson's face wanted to hold back the smile...
48. When I asked my friend what Sundae said in English, he said it was a transliteration sundae. I suddenly realized it and said with great confidence... Is that milkshake called nancy? My friend squirted Coke on the spot...
49. I discussed my personal hobbies in ESL class. I said I like to eat Snack (snacks), but I was pronounced incorrectly and said it was Snake (snake). Both the teacher and the classmates were quiet...
