I wrote an article about Jiang Biwei and Xu Beihong, called (
01
Jiang Biwei and Xu Beihong were together, Nian Fang was 18. It was a period of youth ignorance. I didn’t understand life, didn’t understand worldly style, didn’t understand family responsibilities. I resolutely elope with him with a passion and full of love.
She was with Xu Beihong for more than 20 years, and she went around the world. She followed wherever he went. The two people with different personalities gradually exposed their personalities in the quicksand of time, and the conflicts slowly accumulated. Until one day, the two sides no longer had a trace of attachment, and only full of resentment remained. The two finally put an end to this marriage that had already died in name only.
Later, Jiang Biwei and Zhang Daofan had a secret relationship. The two communicated with each other ten thousand words. Love was lingering, love lost its rationality, and finally broke through the bottom line and lived a married life.
When Jiang Biwei and Zhang Daofan met for the first time, her temperament amazed the elegant talent. Several years later, he once said to her endlessly: You are wearing a bright and unique dress, standing on the red carpet, pavilion Beautiful and graceful, like a wonderful picture.
Jiang Biwei at that time didn't know that this member of the "Tiangou Club" who was known to Xu Beihong's brothers would fall in love with her at first sight, and for more than ten years, he buried this deep affection. It was not until the marriage between her and Xu Beihong that he showed his suppressed emotions and persistence in front of her one by one. However, at that time, he was already a human being. Husband.
At that time, Jiang Biwei and Xu Beihong were studying in France. They organized a "Tiangou Club" with friends who were studying in France. Everyone usually called each other brothers. Xie Shoukang was the eldest, Xu Beihong was the second, Zhang Daofan was the third, Shao Xunmei ranked fourth, Jiang Biwei was the only woman among them, and was called "Madam Yuzhai".
They often gathered and talked together. Zhang Daofan's financial conditions were relatively good, so in the Tiangou Club, he was relatively generous. In the spring of 1926, in order to raise the expenses of the two people staying in France, Xu Beihong went to Singapore alone. Zhang Daofan took good care of Jiang Biwei, who was alone in Paris, but he did not express his feelings to her, and even blamed and felt guilty for himself.
This shameful love is so depressing that he can't breathe. He is often depressed and melancholy about it. In order to get rid of this pain and escape the emotions that will never be realized in his heart, he decided to marry the French girl Sushan.
The night when he got married, he was drunk and even sang and danced wildly in front of everyone. This performance of disobedience made everyone mistakenly think it was a sign of joy, but he didn't know that this was a kind of sadness in his heart that he had nowhere to vent his emotions.
After marriage, Zhang Daofan returned to the country. He abandoned paintings and became the director secretary of the Nanjing Municipal Government. He was proud and his career was smooth. When the two met again, many years had passed. At that time, the relationship between Jiang Biwei and Xu Beihong had already appeared in rifts. The two often quarreled, and Xu Beihong often disappeared at any time. Jiang Biwei was often exhausted by this.
Seeing Jiang Biwei being in a state of mercy all day long, Zhang Daofan's originally calm and suppressed emotions burst out again, and slowly walked into Jiang Biwei's life.
Once, the two had a fierce quarrel again. Jiang Biwei ran away from home in anger. At that time, Xu Beihong was rumored to have an affair with Sun Yunjun, and sent her a heartless letter saying: I will pay you 200 yuan a month, until 10,000 yuan. In short, you have been away for ten years and should be able to stand on your own.
Jiang Biwei thought that the relationship between the two was about to break completely, and in the future, she, a woman, had to take on the heavy responsibility of taking care of her two children. She was extremely anxious, so she wrote a letter to Zhang Daofan and asked him to help find a job for her.
At that time, Zhang Daofan and several friends knew that the couple were having conflicts, and they were afraid that finding a job for her in this situation would make the relationship between them even more tense, so they refused her request and said that it was not convenient to introduce her to her before obtaining Beihong's consent.
. Between them, only Zhang Daofan was chasing and the other was in pain. At that time, all the pain of Jiang Biwei was placed in the relationship with Xu Beihong.
Xu Beihong left home for a long time, and he came to Nanning, Guangxi alone, but the situation in Guangxi was severe. Jiang Biwei was afraid that something would happen to Xu Beihong, so she decided to go to Guangxi alone to find him back. When Zhang Daofan knew about it, he tried his best to dissuade him. When the dissuasion was ineffective, he had to give her 300 yuan and told her to be more careful on the way.
Jiang Biwei finally returned with loss. When Zhang Daofan saw the goddess in his heart, he was repeatedly hurt by Xu Beihong and even abandoned by him, his heart was filled with indignation and struggle.
This time, he agreed to Jiang Biwei's request and found a job for her to work. From then on, he became even more dependent on her life. He cared about her life and work, and his parents and children. He became her most reliable supporter in spirit.
There was also a different feeling between the two, and Zhang Daofan was wandering between morality and true feelings again and again, unable to extricate himself. He said : I am willing to sacrifice everything to achieve this unstoppable wish, but every time I want to make up my mind, I will find myself so weak .
Jiang Biwei was also in great pain, but she was rational in the end. She said: Love is like climbing a mountain, climbing hand in hand, everyone cheering and singing on the way, and then when they reach the peak, whether forward or backward, the only way in front of us is to go downhill. We are all people who have experienced marriage, and love is best limited to the spiritual realm.
Jiang Biwei has a strong personality. She has the arrogance that a woman who raises a wealthy family should have, and the tenacity that ordinary women do not have. Once she chooses, she will fly into the fire. No matter whether she is poor or hard, or has ups and downs, she will follow her life and death.
She seems to have a stubborn persistence in love, like Xu Beihong and Zhang Daofan.
02
Jiang Biwei and Xu Beihong have long been doomed. In the book, she complained and accused Xu Beihong. She spent most of her life with Xu Beihong in wandering.
18 years old and elope to Japan, later returned to China, and then went to France to study. Their lives have always been poor, not as everyone said. She only wants to enjoy herself. She once described their marriage in the book:
Mr. Xu and I have been married for twenty years, and our lives have always been very hard. We are not talking about the difficulties of Japan, Beijing and Paris. In the years we have returned to China, we have no savings, and we are often struggling. He abandoned his family and ignored Guangxi. He sent money intermittently several times over the past year. He had no choice but to leave my children to work and supplement the family with a meager salary.
At that time, in Jiang Biwei's heart, the life she and Xu Beihong maintained was just a bondage of marriage. In fact, she had already felt as cold as water for Xu Beihong at that time, especially in order to be with Sun Yunjun, he abandoned her many times and disappeared for no reason, which disappointed her.
The appearance of Zhang Daofan undoubtedly made her life worse, with a little more sustenance and support. When she was sick, Zhang Daofan was taking care of her meticulously; when she wanted to move, Zhang Daofan and his friends escorted her onto the boat;
She went to Guangxi to find Xu Beihong, but Zhang Daofan was afraid that she would not have enough money, so she gave her 300; when she was in Chongqing, Zhang Daofan was afraid that her family would not be able to live with her family, so she saved a thousand in Chongqing bank in her name and asked others to hand it over to her; when Jiang Biwei's father came to Chongqing, his work was also arranged by Zhang Daofan;
When Nanjing was bombed by Japan, Zhang Daofan helped her and her children escape again and again. When she was lonely, he was with her, and when she was desperate and sick, he was comforting her and encouraging her.
In contrast, Xu Beihong was robbed by a robber when they first returned to Xu's house. When they heard the gunshot, Xu Beihong ran faster than a rabbit. He hid alone in the barn behind the house, leaving Jiang Biwei with a panic looking child, standing there helplessly looking for him.
Zhang Daofan was like a clear spring, flowing into her heart. They began to communicate, express their hearts to each other, and tell each other about their daily experiences and worries.
In the letter, She talks about the wind, the human relationship, the joys, sorrows and happiness every day, what she saw and heard that day, and the worries in her heart. She seems to have returned to the age of eighteen, with a yearning for love, innocent romance, and poetic and picturesque.
Zhang Daofan returns with her deep affection, with her moon and stars, with her worrying about gains and losses. They are like lovers of their first love, turning their love into every word of affection.
This is something that Xu Beihong cannot give to her. When she elopes with him desperately, perhaps these were the love she had imagined, but Xu Beihong gave her too much disappointment.
She described in the book: Beihong has only himself in his heart. I have been with him for twenty years and have never received any comfort or care from him. He needs his wife and children to embellish his life.
But for Zhang Daofan, she described it like this: Daofan only asks for some spiritual comfort and encouragement from me, but he paid the biggest price. He showed me an incomparable enthusiasm and snatched out a honest and loyal heart.
Zhang Daofan's affection and tenderness are soaked in her heart like the wind and rain. They express their feelings with books every day, and their feelings are like a splendid fire, burning between their hearts.
Jiang Biwei is middle-aged. Although she has experienced thousands of sails, she is just like the woman who dares to love and hate before. In the end, they broke through the shackles and got together. Then the two lived together in Taiwan for ten years.
03
Jiang Biwei and Zhang Daofan's love is as enthusiastic as she treated Xu Beihong at the time. Although she was already middle-aged at that time, she still had a sense of innocence and obsession with love in her heart.
The difference is that when she elopes with Xu Beihong, she has a confusion about the future and a longing for the future, a fantasy of love and a sweet yearning for marriage.
When she broke through the world and was with Zhang Daofan, she had been considerate and struggled thousands of times. She felt more calm in her heart. She could accept being with him as an interfering person and be ready for his departure at any time.
In 1958, Zhang Daofan revealed his idea of going to visit Sushan and his daughter, and Jiang Biwei was fully prepared. She knew Zhang Daofan's hesitation and also understood his dilemma. She had already made plans in her heart that " will solve this problem in the future, I must be ."
Jiang Biwei made a choice in her heart. She didn't want to be embarrassed and sad about being abandoned, so she used the excuse to visit her nephew abroad. The two of them set out on their own and parted ways from then on.
Jiang Biwei's last letter to Zhang Daofan
She has always been proud, Although she was criticized by everyone for running away from marriage, she has always been sticking to the marriage of the two with her actions, no matter how hard, tired or sad, and never gave up. It was not until Xu Beihong published two newspapers on the newspaper to "separate the cohabitation relationship" and caused her to be humiliated that she made a decision to break off love and even demanded huge compensation with a cruel attitude, breaking the entanglement between the two.
This is the last dignity she maintained between her and Xu Beihong, and it is also her pride in protecting herself.
She has always been decisive, just like she followed Zhang Daofan namelessly regardless of rumors. She loved her calmly, and when she broke up, she also abandoned her calmly.
As she said: Whenever I face major choices, my thinking becomes very sharp and my reason seems to be extremely clear. This is God's gift, which has made me never suffered a serious fall in my sad life.
In her memoirs, During the nearly twenty years of living with Xu Beihong, her heart was filled with complaints, dissatisfaction, resentment, loneliness and heaviness.
However, the words of life with Zhang Daofan are full of sweetness and happiness, full of poetry and painting, and each letter contains deep love.
Zhang Daofan and Xu Beihong may not be much noble, but in Jiang Biwei's heart, one is unforgivable and the other is calm and peaceful. Perhaps it is because when she followed Xu Beihong, she was still young and wanted to be loved; when she followed Zhang Daofan, she had already learned to love in middle age.
Many people say that she was abandoned by Zhang Daofan in the end and her life was miserable in her later years. However, judging from the last breakup letter she wrote to Zhang Daofan, her heart was relieved and calm that had experienced the vicissitudes of life. She was not abandoned by Zhang, but she made a choice between them without a turnaround.
Her pride has not changed when she was barren and down, she has not changed when she was ruthlessly abandoned, the times have not changed under the turmoil, and she has not changed when she was lonely in her later years. Whether it is for Xu Beihong or Zhang Daofan, she loves her thoroughly and abandons her decency. She always maintains her dignity and dignity in her heart.
In her later years, she devoted herself to writing without complaints, jealousy, sadness, and self-pity. In the quiet and lonely years, she wrote "Me and Xu Beihong" and "Me and Zhang Daofan", one of her first half of her life and the second half of her life, ending the past in her writing.
Many people say that her life was miserable in her later years. In fact, a woman like her who dares to love and hate has her own tenacity. I think she will never regret it in her life. She has worked hard to pursue the life she wants. She lives real and loves decisively.
Use a stubborn heart to pursue her love, willing to risk the slander of the world, demolish the old moral vassals, and pursue a complete personality and equal status to achieve her desire for love. A woman like
only cares about the process and not the ending. This is her, the woman she has always loved clearly, the woman she has never been changed by life, the woman she is as proud as ever.
