What is marriage? " Siege " said that "people inside want to get out, and people outside want to get in."
In many marginal rural areas in China, a long-distance race of "rushing to the city of marriage" is taking place. This sentence is no longer just a book making fun of marriage, but has become a real problem faced by some areas.
But life continues. Under the realistic conditions that Chinese women cannot solve the problem and do not want to marry in remote rural areas, people in the "Bachelor Village" spontaneously formed a "Marriage with Vietnam " blind date activity.
According to incomplete statistics, there are now more than 100,000 Vietnamese brides who have married into China through various channels. Due to the relatively concentrated gathering places, "Vietnamese bride villages" have even been formed in Sichuan, Fujian, Guangxi, and Hunan. .
"Poor boys" happily seek to marry foreign brides, and a large number of Vietnamese brides marry far away from China. Behind this seemingly romantic appearance, what are the fierce social conflicts and difficult social status quo hidden behind it?
Chinese bachelors marry outsiders
In the traditional Chinese concept, the unhealthy trend of "preferring boys over girls" is still spread in some places. As a result, the problem of imbalance in the male-female population ratio has become increasingly serious. According to China's demographic statistics, as of mid-2019, there were more than 30 million men outnumbering women, which means that there are more than 30 million men who are single and unable to get married.
In a situation where there are many "leftover men" in China, the label "remote rural areas" is even worse.
In recent years, urban and rural development have been closely linked, and more rural women have chosen to work in cities. Some negative and incorrect concepts have been circulated in many remote mountain villages: "Rural areas represent backward productivity, poor living conditions, and high pressure in life." , "If you don't go to the city to find a way out when you are young, you will have to stay in the countryside for the rest of your life..."
Most rural women choose to go to the city, but few choose to return to the village. There are no women in the village, formed The "bachelor's village" has resulted in most young people in many mountainous areas being unable to find a wife based on their living conditions and their own abilities.
The current situation of marriage and love in rural areas is very difficult. "The matchmaker is unwilling to introduce him to the current situation of the man's family." "Teenage boys have joined the blind date army." "The bride's family cannot afford the bride price, so the marriage is canceled." These orders There are endless things that make people helpless.
When the woman does not want to stay in the countryside, or even when a woman who has been married in the countryside goes to the city to make a living, she can live with an urban man without getting a divorce, and the husband in the countryside has nothing to do. Under the current situation where the man is unable to find a wife, seeking to marry a foreign bride seems to be a matter of course.
Vietnam is a socialist country in Asia. It is also a traditional agricultural country. Its agricultural population accounts for about 75% of the total population. Therefore, Vietnamese women’s proficiency in farm work is also deeply loved by Chinese rural youth. Admittedly, they are very diligent and quick at work.
Due to the issue of bride price mentioned above: In the early years, the border areas between China and Vietnam were very poor and the people's living conditions were difficult, so the money for bride price was very little. This is also a major reason why Chinese young people are more inclined to marry Vietnamese brides. reason.
Vietnamese brides marry far away
After a long war in Vietnam, the people's economy and living standards have declined, and their lives are in distress. Although the living conditions in remote mountain villages in China have yet to be developed, they are not as good as before, but they are more than enough. Many Vietnamese women They all come to China through the introduction of some intermediaries and intermediaries, and finally get married successfully.
After the war, the imbalance between the male and female population in Vietnam also became serious. Affected by the local social culture, women took on a large part of the affairs and responsibilities of society and the family. On the streets of Vietnam, we often meet Vietnamese men chatting, drinking and playing cards, while women They are often left at home or work outside the home, running around for a living.
What is different is the traditional culture in Chinese society of "men take charge of the outside and women take charge of the house", which attracts Vietnamese women.The attitude of Chinese men towards their wives is also worthy of recognition, and they especially cherish their hard-won marriages. Many articles mentioned that Vietnamese brides came to China and felt that their social status had been improved. "The husband is obedient and even gives his wife foot-washing water" makes them satisfied with their marital status.
But such a marriage itself has hidden dangers. The acquaintance between the two parties seems to be difficult and has its own arrangement, but in fact it is not that the two parties recognize each other and get married, but because chooses within the scope of his own abilities under the existing social environment. If you choose one with a higher quality of life, will no longer be romantic at first glance, and a marriage out of helplessness will not last long.
There was once a man named Lei from Hubei who met and married his Vietnamese wife through the introduction of other local Vietnamese women who had married far away. However, the woman suddenly disappeared three months after their wedding, and Mr. Lei was nowhere to be found.
In fact, situations like Mr. Lei's are not uncommon. Many "runaway brides" appear in "Sino-Vietnamese" marriages. They came to China for some reasons and married Chinese men, but because of dissatisfaction with the current situation of life, they Due to cultural differences, communication problems, discord with the husband's personal habits and other reasons, the husband irresponsibly "escaped back to the country", and the husband's rights and interests were not protected accordingly.
Is Sino-Vietnamese marriage love or bread?
Of course, there are many happy families, born from this "Sino-Vietnamese marriage". Ma Zhongxuan, the head of Tianding Village in Xinfeng Village, once proudly praised his Vietnamese daughter-in-law: "She is very diligent and a good person." This positive phenomenon is of great help in easing the severe situation of marriage and love between the two countries, , but it is not a reason to be lazy and indifferent.
There is still a big problem with the population ratio. It is obvious that "preferring boys over girls" is still a bad old concept. If it is not corrected earlier, the root cause of the problem cannot be solved.
In the early Soviet film "Lenin in 1918", Vasily said to his wife: "There will be milk, there will be bread, there will be everything..."
For many people, love begins with marriage. The premise is that a marriage without love is undoubtedly a grave, but for these rural youths who cannot marry a wife, what is the purpose of marriage?
For them, it may mean a heavier topic-carrying on the family line. Marriage here is no longer for love, but for "bread" . There will be "bread", but when will it come? We have no position to accuse these uninformed or forced "people who choose marriage." We should rather bless those "Sino-Vietnamese couples" who have the courage to pursue marriage and even truly find love.
But these are not enough to put a fine coat on "marriage by choice". The husband does not understand his wife, and the wife does not know her husband. Such hasty marriages must be avoided by more people.
Giving up the search for the true meaning of love for bread, or giving bread the name of "true love" or "romance" is unwise and self-deceptive in itself. Such ideas must be discouraged and should not be allowed to The idea of "making do" hinders the beauty that you will experience as a human being.
And we must also work hard to reduce such "market demand", which makes people busy throughout their lives and pursue something other than bread, so that marriages everywhere can be pure.
There is bread, and there is also love.
Marriage should not be a make-do task, nor should it be a tool used by people to maintain their livelihood and reproduce their offspring. The oath in the church reads: Regardless of poverty, wealth, health or illness, we will never leave each other and share the joys and sorrows.
Behind romance there should be fairy tales, not cruel facts. Gender imbalance should be taken seriously, deformed traditional concepts should be taken seriously, people's life needs should be taken seriously, and love should also be taken seriously.
I hope that the future "Chinese-Vietnamese marriage" will be because of love and bread, and that the "miracle" of "Bachelor's Village" turning into "Vietnamese Bride Village" will no longer have the helplessness behind it.
We all advocate marriage because of its purity. One day, when it comes to Sino-Vietnamese marriage, the young people in the bachelor's village are not willing to marry outsiders, and the Vietnamese brides are not willing to marry far away, but they have traveled thousands of miles to meet their love.
