12 After giving birth to our son five years ago, my wife has never regained her figure. We were the same as before we got married. Yesterday was fine. We took out our wedding album and looked at it while lamenting the passage of time. My son lay on his back and asked who the beau

1 I never lack love, but I lack money.

2 A: There is a meeting coming soon. Why are you bringing the quilt?

B: It’s cold, and I’m afraid I’ll doze off and fall asleep during the meeting.

3 Someone came for an interview and said he had three years of work experience. The interviewer asked him, you only graduated 2 years ago, how come you have 3 years of work experience? Where did you get that year? Answer: Overtime...

4 I lost my mobile phone charger, so there is no need to buy a new one.

Find a hotel, go in and tell the front desk: You left the charger with them.

They will bring out a large box of chargers of various models: they are all left behind by customers. Look around to see if there is anything you like.

Don't say I told you that.

5 A cousin's family of three was shopping, and his sister-in-law and children were shopping in front. The cousin really didn't want to go shopping, so he threw more than ten yuan at a roadside stall behind and bought a fake gold chain. He walked quickly to his younger siblings, held the chain in his hands and exposed it a little, whispered to pick it up and leave quickly, and the three of them hurried home.

6 My deskmate said he could tell what I was missing through his nails, so I showed him my nails.

He painted my thumb black and the other nails orange.

’s other hand was painted red, and then he asked me if I could see what was missing, and I said, “I didn’t see it.”

Him: "You are so mean-spirited!"

7 After my cousin quarreled with her cousin, she got angry and went back to her parents' home. The cousin was so angry that he refused to pick her up. So, my cousin lived in her parents' home for more than a month and missed the child, so she ran back by herself!

came in and hugged my niece and kissed her. After kissing for a long time, she stroked her head and said: I was not at home, but your dad actually learned to tie your hair in pigtails!

little niece: Mom, this is a wig I’m wearing. My hair was shaved off by my father! As he spoke, he took off his wig, revealing his shiny bald head!

8 When I was in high school, the goddess sat next to me. I couldn't help but want to fart, so I held my butt and rocked back and forth on the seat, intending to grind up the fart and let it out quietly. I thought I succeeded, but the goddess said to me, "You have just farted dozens of times, right? Why don't you just have a quick one...

9 I was hungry in the afternoon, and I saw a bottle of yogurt on my colleague's table, so I drank it without thinking.

After a while, my colleague came and shouted: "Why is my facial cleanser missing! 108 yuan! "Brother

didn't say anything. He just walked to the toilet silently, scratched his throat, and felt very uncomfortable. He vomited everything until he spit out sour water. Finally, he almost vomited, and returned to his seat with tears streaming down his face.

My colleague held a bottle and said, "I was scared to death. The facial cleanser rolled under the table. Why is my yogurt missing again? "Brother

cursed in his heart: ... drink some yogurt and kill people.

10 The company worked overtime until midnight, everyone's eyelids were fighting, and a girl lamented: "I really want to become a 'cause' now. "When everyone asked why, the girl said: "It's just a person lying on the big bed with all four limbs spread out. As soon as he finished speaking, a male colleague next to him muttered: "Sleepy." "

11 My Erha usually looks like he is not afraid of anything! In the evening, I watched " Man and Nature " The Story of the African Lion . The lion was hunting the buffalo, and this guy stared at it with big eyes. Just after hunting the buffalo, the lion looked at the camera with his mouth full of blood. This bastard jumped into my arms with an "ouch" and kept stopping. Humph, it’s shameful to urinate Got it!

12 After giving birth to our son five years ago, my wife has never regained her figure. We were no longer the same as before we got married. Yesterday was fine. We took out our wedding album and looked at it while lamenting the passage of time. My son lay on his back and asked who the beautiful woman in the album was. My wife said with a sad face: "She is your biological mother." The son was stunned for a moment, and then cried: No wonder you keep beating me, it turns out that I am not your biological child!