4. My wife is a cultured person, the eldest daughter from a scholarly family. She is very well-educated. She always turns her back to me when she yawns. No, she turned around and just opened her mouth. I rushed over and in an instant I peeled the banana and inserted it into her m

1 In this ruthless age, if you want others to never forget you, the best way is to not pay back the money you owe.

2 My second-rate girlfriend visited my home for the first time yesterday and asked my father’s zodiac sign during dinner. I said: "He is the most stubborn one in the Chinese zodiac! Guess what?" My girlfriend, who was a loser, answered directly without even thinking: "Donkey!" Then I saw the old man's face was livid, and everyone else at the table was suffering from internal injuries...

3 was sitting on the bridge looking at the river in a daze. My sister brought my loser golden retriever to find me, and the loser threw me directly from the bridge into the river! !

4 My wife is a cultured person, the eldest daughter from a scholarly family. She is very well-educated. She has to turn her back to me when she yawns. No, she turned around and just opened her mouth. I rushed over and in an instant I peeled the banana and inserted it into her mouth! !

I... How did I know that she was not yawning, but sneezing? She was holding a bubble of snot in her nose and was going crazy to die with me! !

I haven’t dared to go home for two days! ! !

5 is a girl. She was a toothpick girl when she was young, but she grew up to be a fat girl. One day, I met a classmate from primary school who was a good-for-nothing. The good-for-nothing actually said that time is like a butcher's knife! How come you are just pig feed? I...

6 Patient: As soon as I entered, I heard the nurse say, ‘Be brave, don’t be afraid! Appendiceal surgery is very simple. ’ Doctor: That’s right. Patient: But she said this to the doctor who was going to operate on me!

7’s son is the monitor of their class, but his recent results have not been satisfactory. When he told him that he was incompetent as a monitor and failed to take the lead, the boy replied, “You can insult me, but please don’t insult my profession.”

8 slept until nine o’clock and went to have breakfast. There was a large handful of change at the elevator door. The maximum ticket amount was five yuan. When he picked it up and counted it, there were more than eighty yuan! When I came back after breakfast, my neighbor downstairs was looking for money with his children. I smiled: I took out the more than 80 yuan I had packed and asked if it was right? The child immediately said thank you, uncle, and specifically pointed to one of the five-dollar ones and said: Uncle, it is really mine, you see it has my name, Nie Xin... Of course I gave it back to him, but Xiaoxin then said: Uncle, there are two more one-hundred-dollar pieces... Me, should I make up two more?

9 After getting off the train, I chose to take the bus home. I wore large overalls. As soon as I got on the bus, an older lady got up and gave me her seat, thinking that I was pregnant. She also told me the things that pregnant women should pay attention to along the way. When I arrived at the station, I really thought that I was pregnant. I was still single. Holding my waist with my hands, I slowly got out of the car with my head held high and my belly high...

My parents who were waiting for me at the station were dumbfounded...

10 I went to visit my cousin's house today, and I happened to encounter my cousin beating my nephew who failed the college entrance examination with a stick. My little nephew saw me coming in, and immediately shouted as if he had met a savior - "What's the use of doing well in the college entrance examination? Look at my uncle (that's me) who scored more than 600 points, isn't it the same that he hasn't been able to find a job for 7 years after graduating from college?" So I lowered my head and silently handed my cousin a thicker stick.

11 I chatted with the uncle who cleans the toilets in the company, and I said that the company boss is very resourceful!

The uncle said: "The boss is the boss, and he has the skills! I squatted in the pit without any paper, so I called my subordinates to bring the materials on the table to save face! He said that I should hurry up and check...

If it weren't for the paper, the toilet would be empty It was blocked. I spent a long time on the phone. I really thought our boss was so dedicated..."

12 I am a leftover girl. Recently, my aunt introduced me to a boyfriend and took me to eat steak for the first time. I accidentally splashed juice into my eyes. This guy had a concerned look on his face and forced me to close my eyes for a while. Then I squinted my eyes and saw that he was stealing the beef on my plate... Can I get a man like this?

13 At a party, someone introduced me to a new friend, saying that he had become a millionaire by stock trading . Wow! sharp! Admire, admire! I sat next to him and quietly asked him to teach me the secret. He said to me with a blank expression: "Actually, there is no secret... I turned out to be a multi-millionaire."