A young nouveau riche fell in love with his mother-in-law and gave his father-in-law more than 5 million yuan to divorce him, and his father-in-law immediately agreed. When I went home during the summer vacation, my mother thought my brother was lazy, and then I asked my brother

1. A young nouveau riche fell in love with his mother-in-law and gave his father-in-law more than 5 million yuan to divorce him. The father-in-law immediately agreed. After having the money, my father-in-law found a 25-year-old wife. That day, my father-in-law made a fortune on the street. After returning home, he said to his wife, "Wife, I've done my fortune today, and the old man said I'm 135 years old." His wife was playing with her mobile phone and said without raising her head, "What's wrong? Is the grave solitary?"?

2. When I went home during the summer vacation, my mother thought my brother was lazy, and then I asked my brother what kind of sports I like. My brother told me: My favorite outdoor sports is to find a grassland with shade on a sunny day, and lie down to play with my mobile phone. And you?

3. A man was in a restaurant and saw a beautiful woman looking very nice and wanted to flirt with her. I ran over and asked: Beauty, I lost a boyfriend here. Is it yours? The beauty said quietly: My sister likes your personality. But I don't like your gender. A man won the five million prize and found his girlfriend and said, "Dear, I won five million. Let's split it up!" His girlfriend was so moved that she burst into tears. When my girlfriend knew it was a breakup, she cursed: "Damn, I thought you wanted to share the money with me!"

4. I didn't have to go to work on Sunday, so I went to chat with my friend, and my friend said to me: Are our relationship good? I replied: It’s very strong! My friend said: Since that's the case, if I borrow money from you, how much would you be willing to borrow? I replied: 60 yuan. My friend said: You only borrowed 60 yuan for all of them? I said seriously: Yes, 50 cents per pound of scrap iron, and 120 cents for you. My friend left.

5. I gave an aunt who lost her wallet and luggage and couldn't go home for 200 yuan. Unexpectedly, she turned out to be a big boss and wanted to repay me with her body, so I immediately agreed. It was only after I realized that she was a dog and she especially liked to eat meat on her bones. I asked her why, and she said that bones were better than big pieces of meat. After eating, I will chew all the bones that can be chewed. After two months like this, the golden retriever who had been raising my family for six years ran away from home with tears in her eyes!

6. A man went up the mountain to explore an adventure alone, but unexpectedly encountered a tiger. He pretended to be calm and kept staring at the tiger. The tiger suddenly folded his palms and knelt down. He said proudly: You know it's amazing! The tiger said to the sky: Prayer is over, and we are ready to have a meal.

7. My wife was responsible for cooking at home that day. This was her first time cooking. I just ate a little and said I was full. Then I quickly found an excuse to go out for dinner. I ordered a bowl of beef vermicelli soup in the store, and I saw my dad also enter the store! I looked up and looked at each other, and I said awkwardly: Dad, have you eaten it? Dad laughed: Don’t tell your wife!

8. My brother has a high income and has a house and a car, but he often asks his brother what to buy for electrical and digital products. The brother wonders: Can't you buy it yourself? My brother said: Although I have made a lot of money, I don’t understand these things. My younger brother said: OK, then I'll choose for you. Finally, my brother added: You still understand life. Although you can’t afford it, you know everything!

9. When I was in my senior year of high school, I studied hard, but since I started Tsinghua , I didn’t go to class if I didn’t go to class! I was sleeping in that day when suddenly the instructor called me. I thought for a moment, hung up decisively, and then waited for 1 minute to dial: Teacher, I was in class just now, and now I came out to call you back. Is there anything wrong? The instructor said gently: Oh, it’s okay. I just checked the dormitory and saw that you were sleeping soundly. I wanted to call you and tell you it’s time to get up. Me:...

10. A few days ago, I took my daughter to a friend’s house to play while I was bored. His wife gave my daughter an electric car. This morning, my friend called me a cell phone and asked me to return the car to him. I said, after you invite someone to have a meal, you still have to spit out the meal for you? After a while, my friend chased me and came home. He picked up the car model and said: Brother, you misunderstood. I'll take a look and then give it to you. As he said that, my friend locked the battery down and pulled out two photos from behind the battery...

11. During the break, the brother said to the classmate behind, "I'll sleep on my tummy for a while, and when the teacher comes, you call me." The classmate looked at his cell phone and said, "No problem, I'll call you when the teacher comes."When my cousin woke up, I found that there was no one in the classroom. My cousin was very curious and made me so hungry. In the afternoon, my cousin asked the classmate behind me why I didn't call me, and the classmate said, "When the teacher didn't come, why did I call you for me? "

12. Last night, I met a girl in a bar. She was drinking quietly there alone. Her melancholy look really moved me. I wanted to chat with her, but I was embarrassed, so I handed her a note that said: If you like me, please smile. If you don't like me, please flip it back. After reading the note, the girl stood up and slapped the table and made a backflip. Then there was a riot in the bar, and the girl was pulled away by the ambulance.

13. My nephew ran around in the hall and broke a mother's favorite tea cup. My mother beat her nephew. I just drank tea, and I accidentally broke a tea cup. My mother glared at me with a dark face, but said nothing. My nephew saw it and shook her head and sighed: "Oh! It’s still the daughter I gave birth to! Alas——” As a result, my mother beat me up to show justice…m"

14. I was about to take the bus to get to my buddies. When I was about to get on the bus, I heard the car say, "Please don't bring any super long, large, and overweight items into the car!" I looked at my figure, then turned and left.

15. Yesterday my mother-in-law went to the supermarket and was knocked down by a young man driving a Bentley on the way. After getting off the car, the owner of the Bentley cursed, but his mother-in-law didn't say anything. Waiting for the owner of the Bentley, he said he was tired. The mother-in-law said lightly: Young man, call me and tell my dad that you have scraped a shared bicycle.

16. The world of children is really interesting. The little boy just entered the first grade of elementary school. A male classmate in the class bragged that he could iron sand palm and could break bricks with bare hands. The classmates didn't believe it, so they took a brick and asked him to show it to the classmates. The little boy took a deep breath, took a palm, and his hand broke! Then the classmates laughed at him as stupid. The little boy cried and said, "What do you know!" Then, the little boy didn't write homework once that semester, and he also drank pork rib soup every day. Some people were very envious of the students.

12. Last night, I met a girl in a bar. She was drinking quietly there alone. Her melancholy look really moved me. I wanted to chat with her, but I was embarrassed, so I handed her a note that said: If you like me, please smile. If you don't like me, please flip it back. After reading the note, the girl stood up and slapped the table and made a backflip. Then there was a riot in the bar, and the girl was pulled away by the ambulance.

13. My nephew ran around in the hall and broke a mother's favorite tea cup. My mother beat her nephew. I just drank tea, and I accidentally broke a tea cup. My mother glared at me with a dark face, but said nothing. My nephew saw it and shook her head and sighed: "Oh! It’s still the daughter I gave birth to! Alas——” As a result, my mother beat me up to show justice…m"

14. I was about to take the bus to get to my buddies. When I was about to get on the bus, I heard the car say, "Please don't bring any super long, large, and overweight items into the car!" I looked at my figure, then turned and left.

15. Yesterday my mother-in-law went to the supermarket and was knocked down by a young man driving a Bentley on the way. After getting off the car, the owner of the Bentley cursed, but his mother-in-law didn't say anything. Waiting for the owner of the Bentley, he said he was tired. The mother-in-law said lightly: Young man, call me and tell my dad that you have scraped a shared bicycle.

16. The world of children is really interesting. The little boy just entered the first grade of elementary school. A male classmate in the class bragged that he could iron sand palm and could break bricks with bare hands. The classmates didn't believe it, so they took a brick and asked him to show it to the classmates. The little boy took a deep breath, took a palm, and his hand broke! Then the classmates laughed at him as stupid. The little boy cried and said, "What do you know!" Then, the little boy didn't write homework once that semester, and he also drank pork rib soup every day. Some people were very envious of the students.