1. One of the two beauties sitting in front of me on the bus said: "I still think boys should have longer legs."
The other said: "I think so too. When he is blocked in an alley, you can use his crotch to Run away... "
2. One person asked his friend: "Why do you laugh when you smoke? Is the smoke very fragrant?"
The friend replied: "I read that smoking a cigarette shortens your life by 5 seconds. "Smiling makes you live longer for 10 seconds, so every time I smoke, I have to smile and earn 5 seconds back for my life."
3. Ten years after the breakup, the man and woman met again. The girl said excitedly: "That day at the airport, you turned around." Leaving, turning around, is a whole ten years! Do you know what you have missed in these ten years? You have missed the memories you should have had, and you have missed the one who loved you the most!"
The boy shed tears as he listened. .
The girl then said: "Fortunately, now you and I meet again. I hope you won't miss WeChat again! Come with me!"
4. Me: I weighed myself today and found that I lost five pounds.
buddy: A skinny one? Having diarrhea?
Me: No, I forgot the gold necklace!
5. The mother takes her daughter to the groom’s house for a blind date.
After having enough wine and food, the matchmaker stared at the woman and asked: Are you still satisfied?
daughter: Four legs are not as good as two legs, and two legs are not as good as no legs!
Mother interrupted: What a mess! People with four legs are beasts, and of course they are not as good as people with two legs! Why are those with two legs inferior to those without legs? Do you have a crush on their disabled son who is in a wheelchair?
My daughter pouts: You’re such a loser! I’m talking about the food on the table. Pork is not as delicious as chicken, and chicken is not as delicious as fish!
Everyone was embarrassed. . .
6. A classmate, when he passed by the mental hospital every day when he went to school, there was a man in a hospital gown waving to him on the railing, calling him kindly and mysteriously: "Come on, come on! Come on over!" This happened every day.
Finally one day, the classmate couldn't hold it back and wanted to see what he was calling him. So we got together. "Bah!" He spat on his classmate's face with an unforgettable mouthful of saliva. . .
7. In a history class, the teacher asked everyone to memorize the dates of birth and death of the characters for random inspection in the next class. As a result, some students were very dissatisfied: What's the use of memorizing birth and death dates? It's just useless to memorize them. The teacher's words made the students speechless: "If science develops in the future, you can travel back to ancient times, and at least you can rely on this to tell fortunes for high officials, which is also a skill."
8, Female: Doctor, Look at me being beaten like this by my husband, what’s the point of living for me?
Doctor: Don’t worry, it’s just a skin injury, just take care of it. Didn't your husband come? Even if you are beaten like this, I won’t come here to take a look.
Female: Oh, he's in the emergency room .
9. Patient: Doctor, my eyes are nearsighted. Doctor
: Tell me about the specific extent of myopia?
Patient: I opened my wallet and couldn’t see the money...
The doctor said: Get lost...I have all these diseases and there is no cure!
