"Funny jokes" Dad, are you really not carrying this hundred bags of cement at all?

1. On the last bus, the driver's phone rang, the driver took out his phone and directly turned on the hands-free and said, "My wife, I'm driving, so I can say quickly." The other party hesitated: "You drove the hands-free. Huh? Your daughter has grown up, buy some delicious ones, and buy two flying quilts, one for daytime and one for night, just like that, be careful!" Toot toot...

2. In the tea restaurant, there was a young man and woman at the next table. I vaguely heard that it was the boy who broke up with the girl. The girl picked up the water glass excitedly, as if to pour it at the boy. At this moment, the girl tried her best to restrain her, and slowly brought the cup to her mouth, sipping her mouthfuls, tears overflowing from the corners of her eyes. . . I am secretly admiring the girl's reason. . . Suddenly, I heard the girl shouting: Waiter, a glass of boiled water, just boil it!

3. "Son, as a man, we need two things in our life, money, and a good body. Since we can’t have much money now, then we have to put our own body first. Exercise well and lay a good foundation for the future." "Dad, do you really not carry this hundred bags of cement?!"

4. Yesterday I went to a big company for an interview. The interviewer spoke before entering the office before sitting down. "Now you say a word, so that I can remember you right away" "I saw you in the XX hotel, and you hugged the assistant who brought me in just now." "Okay! You are admitted!"

5. On the road, I saw an old woman who fell down on the street. I ran to help the old woman up, but it seemed that she was going to fall again. The ground kept twitching and foaming at the mouth. The grandmother was stunned. I wriggled while twitching. I wriggled about two meters away. I got up and patted the dust and left. The grandmother was still in a daze.

6. I pointed to the bar of soap, but I didn't expect it to be unmoved. As a last resort,Only a vocal reminder: "Hey, you have dropped the soap." Then he reacted, thanking him and bend over to pick it up. At that moment, I rushed to him with lightning speed, put my hands on his back, and jumped a goat. Wow, so excited, I have been thinking about playing jumping goat once this week, and finally got what I wanted!

7. Beijing reporter interview on the street: Aunt, what do you think the impact of sandy weather has on you? Answer: The impact is too great! First of all, you have to see clearly, I am your uncle, not your aunt. We ate haze in February, sand in March, and flakes in April. Today we had a set meal, and can you not use the entire thermos as a microphone.

8. I was sleeping in the bedroom, and my son ran into the bedroom in a panic and said to me: "My lord, there is a big-faced Lei Gong outside" I thought my son was joking, so he told him "Hey, go get this king's dog stick!" Then he saw his grandpa standing at the bedroom door looking at me gloomily.

9. I called my dad: "Dad, I have a girlfriend, but she is weak and weak. She needs a supplement. Can you give me some money?" Dad I said: "Then I will send you some supplements!" I hurriedly said, "No, no, just give the money!" Dad said, "I will send you the money with the supplements!" I was overjoyed. Three days later, the package was received. The supplements inside are actually glue, rubber, pump, and five dollars, and a note is attached: If you can’t make it up by yourself, take five dollars to find a bicycle repair. I didn't get the money, I touched my baby, wanting to cry without tears: As expected, it is Zhizi Moruofu.

10. Ronaldinho goes to the fortune teller. Ronaldinho: Fortune teller, you help me figure out when I can catch up with Xiaolin. She is a girl I like very much. Ronaldinho: Will I die young. Fortune teller: No, on the contrary, you live a long life.

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