The family of "funny jokes" went to the grave, the eldest uncle made his cousin cry and knocked his head a hundred times

1. When taking a bus one day, the passenger and the conductor quarreled because of trivial matters. The passenger cursed, "Who marries you will be bad for eight lifetimes!" Still not stunned, he walked up to the driver and asked him to comment. The driver calmly said, "The conductor It's my wife."

2. There was a bit of dementia when I was young. I heard adults say that the earthworm can still live if it is cut in half, and it will turn into two earthworms, and the result is more than 10 pieces in the afternoon. Only, it's all dead, because I cut it vertically from the middle.

3.Last year Qingming, the family went to the grave, the aunt's 17-year-old cousin suddenly smoked twice, and then laughed deeply and said: It's all here, even if you still have a little filial piety . Then squat down quickly, pick up the tribute and eat it. The 15-year-old cousin of the second aunt’s family was frightened and cried. The eldest uncle reacted first, and when she went up, she gave her cousin a whip and two slaps. He watched his cousin kowtow 100 heads in tears before letting him go down the mountain.

4. I am 1.73 meters and my wife 1.58 meters. Yesterday, the daughter-in-law who went out had to rely on me to walk. They have been together for six years, and she felt too clingy, so she said to her. She said, do you feel like I am like a bird by the person? I am a bit like a little bit directly. A sarcoma grew on the big tree. Let me go, don’t slap my face!

5. House prices continue to rise, buying a house has become a delusion, lovers keep changing clothes, getting married has become a luxury, stocks are growing slowly, getting rich has become a fantasy, the financial crisis has swept away, and the workplace has become a battlefield. , A stream is everywhere, and travel is all in the water.

6. On the bus, a young man gave up his seat to an old lady who had just got on the bus. The aunt happily started talking with the young man. Aunt asked: How old is the child? Boy: 25! Aunt: You are so young, you look like you are in your 30s, and your children are 25!

7. My buddies are amazing, remember junior high school At school, that buddy smoked in the toilet during the lunch break.The buddy had one last bite. He snorted and suddenly taught the director to come in. Seeing us leaning against the window, I asked, "What are you two doing?" I panicked and turned my head to look like my buddy. His performance is still unforgettable! He smoked a lot of smoke from his nose and said:" I'm angry."

8. Female: I have a classmate. She said that she came with me today. She has something to do today. How about another day? I: No need to change the day. Woman: What do you mean? Me: You came to the blind date, not her. If you don't have her, you are not you, then I suggest you marry her.

9. The school uniformly ordered the tutorial book, the price was ten yuan, and the price was 12 yuan when I went home with my mother. Actually say 15 yuan, 15 yuan. I can’t forget that my mother looked at me with a surprised expression and said, “Just say as much as you want. Keep your pocket money for your own use.” After giving me 15 yuan, looking at the neighbor, I really felt ashamed. .

10, "Doctor: Do you have a regular bowel movement? Old man: Very regular, and poop on time at 8 o'clock every morning. Doctor: What's the problem? Old man: The problem is that I only have nine o'clock every morning. Get up.

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