Humorous joke: Sister-in-law’s birthday, as soon as the family has eaten, go to karaoke together happily

2021/09/1323:30:02 funny 276

I have a comrade in arms, and I always wonder if his head was kicked by a donkey. . . .

Yesterday he hurriedly ran into the dormitory "Squad leader, there is your phone in the duty room."

1span Squad leader: "Who is looking for me 3span _span1 span1?" Monk, his name is Yuantong"

Monitor: "That's a courier, brother!"

I already fell off the bed with a smile. . .

My aunt asked me: "Do I have a boyfriend this year?"

My brother suddenly said: "Sister, being single and no one are two different things."

Once I went on a blind date,I am embarrassed to force my girlfriend to go!

After meeting, the handsome guy took the initiative to greet us. The handsome guy would care about people and asked me what to drink. I flushed with shame and said boiled water!

The handsome guy turned his face and smiled and said to his girlfriend: "What about you?"

My girlfriend: "Orange juice!"

The handsome guy was quite ashamed and said to your girlfriend again, I didn't expect I'm on a blind date and asked my aunt to accompany you! "

smiled and poured me boiled water: "Auntie please!"

p5p5p

p0 Bowl, I leaned on the sofa: "I'll take a rest and wash."

She sat next to me: "Then let's chat."

Me: "Good, good."

She: "Aunt Zhang's daughter, you know, she is one year younger than you. She recently gave birth to a baby girl and she is very good. Her husband is still..."

Me: "Mom, I'm going to wash it now. "

My boyfriend bought me a silk scarf and tied it quickly with a beautiful knot.

I asked, "Didn’t you say that I was your first love? I don’t think so. You tie silk scarves and knots so skillfully and beautifully,It's definitely not like the first time for girls.

The boyfriend lifted his trouser legs, pointed to the sneakers and said, "Look at my shoelaces. I tied them for you." "

For my sister-in-law’s birthday, once everyone has eaten together, I will be happy to go karaoke, but my nephew is more than three years old. Sister-in-law goes, we don’t know why.

I picked up my nephew and said, "Baby, don't you want to play with your mother?

He cried out: "Aunt, you don't know, my mother sings too scary!" "

This...

Yesterday, my girlfriends were getting a lot of meat to eat buffet. I slapped myself, and I was so scared that I grabbed her hands and exclaimed: "Are you crazy, it hurts to hit me like this!"

My girlfriend looked regretful: "The weight loss plan is about to fail again! I just can't control my mouth.

finished speaking, picked up a chicken thigh and ate it.

Once the company invited customers to drink, and invited some girls to accompany the wine.

One of them caught my attention, she was outstanding and decent, so I sat next to her and asked her to accompany me for a few drinks.

Then the leader came over to toast,I hugged her waist and smirked and said: "What do you think of my leader?"

The leader was stunned and roared: "Asshole, this is my wife!"

has been working outside for many years, and today I received a call from my brother. The content is as follows.

Brother: "Brother, will you come back for the Mid-Autumn Festival?"

Me: "Come back, what's the matter?"

Brother: "Oh, it's okay. Mom told me to tell you if you come back alone. Don’t come back anyway, you don’t have any good looks!"

I...

The first time I went to my girlfriend's house, her parents were very happy to see me. Drink a few more glasses with the old man.

After waking up the next day, the old mother-in-law sent me out of the yard, and said earnestly: "You see, you have worshipped Lan's father. When Lan Lan gets married in the future, remember to come and have a wedding wine. "

I...

I went to my sister-in-law's house to hang out, and I met my sister-in-law and husband quarreling.

I was busy trying to persuade me, when the 8-year-old niece said leisurely: "A quarrel that is not for the purpose of divorce is to show affection! Go, uncle, let's go to grandma's house and leave them alone!"

Go, boy, are you sure you are yours?

XX: "Teacher, XX, how do you do this question?"
_span3 pspan0 teacher; What about this question"

Teacher: "I don't know" when I look at a certain eye

XX: "Teacher,Why don’t you know anything? How do you behave as a teacher?"

The teacher gritted his teeth and said, "This is an exam, do you know!" "

The two brothers always think that each other has more points than their mothers. Speaking: "Why are you so entangled, you can't swap their food? "

It will be 5.20 soon. In order to save money, I had a special fight with my wife yesterday.

Why don’t I say that I’m so smart? I confessed to my father-in-law and my mother-in-law that I have been driven out by my father-in-law three times with a broom...

Today I finally experienced the extraordinary skills of a female driver.

went to the driving school to practice the road test, female I practiced the car, accompanied by the coach.

There was a red light halfway through, and the coach reminded her to brake. She stepped on the accelerator and pulled the steering wheel on mission. Fortunately, a miracle happened: the coach and the co-pilot had brakes!

I I immediately got out of the car and took out two packs of Zhonghua to the coach. She won’t find me the next time she trains. It’s not easy for my parents to raise me so much!

We went up to go gossiping and asked her "How is it?" Cousin: I finally met a destined person today!

We asked excitedly: "Do you guys look right?"

Cousin: "It's so fate, we had a casual meal together..."

Husband again It was no return overnight, and my wife could no longer tolerate it.

Early in the morning, my husband opened the door and came in, and his wife knocked him out with a wooden stick that had been prepared behind the door.

When he woke up an hour later, his wife said apologetically: "My dear, I'm sorry, I forgot that you were on the night shift."

The son was sick and refused Take medicine.

I coax, but he still refuses to eat.

really didn't do anything, and took out a hundred yuan bill from the wallet: "How about taking a second medicine and rewarding one hundred."

Son: No, unless you take one hundred.

I thought it was a cold. I agreed with two pills at most.

As a result, this kid actually took out a packet of cold granules and counted them one by one.

The father called the son who had done the wrong thing in front of him, and the son bowed his head in fear.

father stroked his head and said: "My son, you grow up, and I will not scold you for making mistakes like before."

moved his son Ended up,Father went on to say: "You should taste the taste of being beaten!"

Yesterday, I called my brother to drink too much, hehe. I drove to pick him up, he told me four or five places, I didn't find him, and then I called to ask him where you are?

He said: "How do I know where I am? I drank too much. Wouldn't you ask someone to ask?"

Let me ask someone, and I ask who is going!

When I was in elementary school, my cousin and I played truant, but were caught by the head teacher and taken to the office for a sharp blow. The head teacher was trembling with anger. He nodded our heads and said incoherently: "Get home and call your parents!" Grandpa coming?"

A handsome guy in the dormitory has just learned to play the violin, and the sound is like scratching the bottom of a pot with his nails.

one afternoon he was playing the violin,Suddenly the door was pushed open, and the aunt who checked the safety and health came in and said solemnly: "Who is cleaning the pot, don't you know that rice cookers are not allowed in the dormitory?"

went to work in the morning and just went out. I ran into the neighbor next door to send his daughter to school. The child cried and cried. When he saw me, he cried and yelled at me: "Uncle, how many more days do I have to go to school?"

me He sighed and said to her: "My child, you are wrong. You will go to school in the next year!"

br491p br49 spanbr1near spanbr49 It is said that if the takeaway fails to be delivered within 45 minutes, the order will be free!
That's an excitement!
The takeaway brother chased me for 20 minutes and finally failed to catch up with