Text: Zheng Shaoyuan May my words warm you~
-01-
Emotion expert Teacher Tu Lei once described marriage like this:
Love cannot be forced, and marriage does not need to be forced, no matter how men or women treat love You should be cautious about marriage and emotional marriage.
Marriage should be one of the most solemn things in life for everyone. We should consider marriage carefully. But in real life, there are some people who are careless about marriage. The consequence of this is that it is difficult to obtain happiness in marriage.
As we understand two people being together, it seems that two people can be together if they feel that they can get along. But this attitude is actually not prudent. Marriage should not only consider the feelings of two people, but also consider whether the material conditions of both parties match. In other words, at least the influence of this factor on marriage should be considered.
Nowadays, many young people don't seem to believe in the view of "right to each other". They think it is a legacy of the feudal era and is not suitable for today's society. But in fact, the righteousness has its meaning in this era, and it is not less than in the past.
Nowadays, the high probability means that two people have the same three views. Because the family conditions of two people are similar, the family environment and education level will be roughly the same, these can determine a person's three views. Moreover, the right pairing can also ensure that the two people are evenly matched after marriage, and there is no such thing as who is strong and who is weak.
-02-
Reader Yuling told me in a private message recently that the New Year will be in a few days, and she will finally be able to enjoy the New Year this year. This is because at the end of the Chinese New Year last year, she divorced her husband.
The reason for the divorce, Yuling said is very complicated, but I actually concluded it after listening to it, but it was caused by improper households.
Inappropriate households can really lead to divorce, and it is not rare in real life. Yuling is just one case. But the story that happened to her is more complicated.
Yuling and her ex-husband Abin,I met through a friend's introduction. At that time, Yuling was 28 years old and had been single for many years. She never found a suitable man. The parents in the family were anxious. In fact, Yuling was also secretly anxious, until her friend introduced her to A Bin, which made her fall in love.
A Bin looks good to outsiders. He is very tall, about 1.85 meters tall, looks relatively ordinary, works in a state-owned enterprise, and has a relatively mature personality. These are in line with Yuling's mate selection requirements.
-03-
The two people have been in contact a few times and they have been together. A Bin said that he had never been in a relationship before, and Yuling was his first love. Yuling has always found it unbelievable, how could a good boy like him have never been in love?
Yuling learned later that what Abin said was true. The reason why he has never been in love is that he has no time, and the girls don't want to be with him after they know his family.
Because Abin is a Phoenix man through and through.
A Bin's hometown is in a remote mountain village, and his village is a well-known poor village in the local area. Both of Abin's parents are farmers, who make a living by farming, and have never traveled far in his life.
A Bin has two older sisters and a younger brother. Because there are more children in the family, they have always been poor. A Bin has been more sensible since he was young, knowing that he can only rely on learning if he wants to change his fate. So he was admitted to the university by his own efforts and became the only college student in the village.
In order for him to study, the family borrowed a lot of money outside. So after graduating from university, Abin chose to stay in the city.
-04-
A Bin relied on his own efforts to enter a state-owned enterprise. Compared with his peers, he can endure hardships, is motivated, and has outstanding work ability, so he is highly appreciated by the leaders.
In his free time, Bin has to do part-time jobs, so he has no time to fall in love. And the girl left him as soon as she knew that he was a phoenix man and his family was pretty good.
And Yuling doesn't care about these things. She likes Abin very much. She thinks he is a potential stock for working hard and making progress, so she married him hard and fast. The parents couldn’t bear to watch her suffer, so they married a house.Two people now have a home.
But the marriage of two people is not favored by those around them. After getting married, Abin has been subsidizing his native family, and all the expenses of his small family are only borne by Yuling.
Yuling finally realized what is all about "poor couples are sad." During the years of marriage, she had to plan carefully every day and did not dare to spend a penny indiscriminately. Yuling thought that if she did this, she would definitely get A Bin's understanding and consideration, but over time, she found that it was not the case. Not only did she not consider her goodness, but she also made progress.
-05-
Every Chinese New Year, A Bin takes Yuling back to his hometown for the New Year. In the past few days of the New Year, it is the experience and pain that Yuling does not want to recall.
In the first year of marriage, she spent the New Year at her mother-in-law's house. Yuling prepared the New Year's Eve dinner alone. Because the mother-in-law just wanted to say that she wanted to work together, the filial son immediately pulled her away and let her sit down and enjoy the blessing.
According to the custom of her husband’s family, the New Year’s Eve dinner cannot be less than 8 dishes, and dumplings should be made. On New Year's Eve, Yuling spent a whole day in the kitchen, and she didn't even drink a sip of water. During this period, Abin did not give Yuling any attention or concern.
The New Year’s Eve dinner is finally over, Yuling is already exhausted, but A Bin said to Yuling: Our hometown has customs, women can't serve the table, women can't eat leftovers until the man has finished eating.
But her mother-in-law is sitting on the main seat, and Abin explained that her mother is an elder, and older women do not need to be restricted by this custom.
That is to say, this custom is specially established by Yuling! This made Yuling very annoyed. Go crazy on the spot.
-06-
Yuling yelled at Abin's family: "I have been working in the kitchen all day by myself. No one in your family helps. She is very active when eating. What does it mean that women cannot serve the table Can I not eat what I made myself?"
Seeing Yuling angry. A Bin’s face was ugly. He felt that Yuling had run into her family, so she quarreled with Yuling: "A woman at my house is not qualified to eat at the table. You are my wife.You should listen to me! _P1p
Yuling and A Bin quarreled, and A Bin’s family did not persuade them to fight, and they all watched coldly.
At the end, A Bin gave Yuling a slap and threatened: "If you don't listen to me, you should fight!" I think you dare to talk back to me in the future! "_P1p
Yuling looked at the Phoenix man in disbelief. At that moment, Yuling's heart was dead and she lost confidence in this marriage. She filed for divorce without saying a word and went back to her hometown overnight.
Two people After a few months of entanglement, he finally got divorced. After leaving Yuling, Abin became the phoenix man who had nothing, and he was beaten back to his prototype.
When dealing with marriage, women must refuse to be soft-hearted, and they cannot have no bottom line for love Only by giving in can you be rescued from a bad life and gradually step into the right track of life.
Don't be a bad person without principles and bottom lines. This will only turn your marriage into precise poverty alleviation.
-END-
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