text | Dolphin Queen
1
There is a good saying about the original family: " lucky people are cured by childhood; unfortunate people are cured by childhood_ strong2strong ".
Yes, each of us has no way to choose our native family. Nowadays, some families still have the phenomenon of patriarchy.
If you were a girl born in a family where your parents were used as cash cows and forced to become Fu Dimo, if you were the real Fan Shengmei, what would you do?
Recently, Luo Luo, a 96-year-old girl from Hangzhou, has suffered a lot from her native family.
Character context:
Girl Lolo: A 24-year-old girl from Hangzhou who works as an artist in a company. She is recognized by the leader for her job. She earns more than 10,000 monthly salary, but she is a cheerful girl. Becoming depressed, the reason comes from her native family.
Lolo has attempted suicide twice. Dad often asks her for money for 10,000 or 20,000. Mother must use a new mobile phone. Lolo’s mobile phone was eliminated by her mother. Her parents never cared about her. Knowing to ask her for money.
In October 2019, Luo Luo quarreled with her boyfriend and was in a bad mood, so she went to Qiantang River to relax. He unexpectedly died unexpectedly during the high tide.
Chat records of Lolo and his girlfriends
Lolo's mood during his lifetime
Lolo's father: He rarely communicates with Lolo, basically no contact,Strong1strong said that her daughter started to be independent when she was 3 years old. Lolo went to kindergarten and elementary school by herself.
Lolo’s father doesn’t even have Lolo’s phone number. For such a father who doesn’t even have his daughter’s phone number, it is estimated that he will contact his daughter. There is nothing but money. Lolo’s father explained that it may Luo Luo has always reported the good and not the worry, and he can tell from his words that Luo Luo's father is indifferent to his daughter.
Lolo's mother: painted exquisite makeup, dyed a new hot hairstyle, and shed crocodile tears. There is no too much sadness for Lolo's death.
Lolo died unexpectedly. The company had compensated 60,000 yuan for humanitarian reasons, but Lolo’s mother felt that it was less, and she kept saying that her daughter is her own heart (60,000) head (not) meat (enough) , The company has to continue to compensate 410,000 yuan, the reason is to buy a house for Luo Luo's brother.
Brother Lolo: Both he and his mother knew Lolo had depression, but they didn't pay much attention to it.
Leaders of Lolo Company: Regarding Lolo’s native family, Lolo’s leaders expressed three ruining views, and Lolo’s leaders questioned Lolo’s parents. Why do you know that your daughter has a suicide Without any actual action, Luo Luo's parents were speechless.
Lolo’s company leader stated that the reason for appearing on the show is to have more girls who know how to defend their rights and not give up their lives easily.
In the end, the company compensated Luoluo's parents for 160,000 yuan, and Luoluo's parents also helped their son buy a house and paid the down payment.
2
There is a kind of family,Raise daughters into female men and sons into giant infants. In a family that favors sons, they have been indoctrinated by their parents from an early age to know how to repay and help the family.
But they never get the real care and understanding of their parents. They want to escape, but they can't get rid of the bondage of family. They may be just a bargaining chip in the eyes of their parents.
There is a kind of girls who are born as cash cows in the eyes of their parents. Fate arranges them as the roles of "helping brother demon" and "helping brother demon". Worked for 10 years, as a senior HR nearly 30 years old, but did not save a penny.
The reason is that all the money on the body is used to help the family. After a while, my brother wants money to buy a house, and later my parents ask for money. It is a bottomless pit. Parents never consider her as a girl, like this in Shanghai In big cities, it's not easy to work hard by yourself, but I think you have a high salary. If you study for you, you have to give us back.
In the end, after Fan Shengmei broke up with her boyfriend Wang Baichuan, facing her brother's entanglement, she took her brother to court, and then separated from her family.
As a parent, why can't you care for your children without gender? After all, they are all their own flesh and blood. If you give your children enough respect and love, they are willing to feed back to you, young people In fact, the pressure is quite large. In order to gain a foothold in society, you need to work hard to enrich yourself.
3
In fact, there are such girls around us. The editor has two friends, which can be said to be in sharp contrast.
My friend Xia, who works in a third-tier city, is the finance of a property company. His monthly salary is more than 3,000, but her mother asks her to send 2,000 yuan home every month. The reason is that there are two siblings at home. The house in the family is rather dilapidated, and my mother hopes that she can help her brother buy a house, so she asks her to send 2,000 yuan home every month.
Xia’s younger brother works as an IT engineer in Zhuhai, and his monthly salary is more than 10,000.Xia is outside, and she actually has to rent a house and eat, which is a lot of money.
In order to save money, she rented a single room of more than 200, but she still thinks it is expensive. She wants to find one more person to share, eat, often eat porridge, with pickles from the family, the whole person is skinny and bones, and she usually goes to work. Riding a bicycle, in order to save 20 yuan a month for parking fees, carry the bicycle from the first floor to the fifth floor every day.
Fortunately, she relied on her own efforts to be promoted to chief financial officer. She met her boyfriend in the finance department and had been in love for more than a year. Two of them got married last year.
Friend Ying is a happier child. Her parents are both civil servants. She is the only child. She has been a treasure in the eyes of her parents since she was a child. She has been loved by her parents. Everything is arranged by her parents, so nothing Carefree, simple in mind, and round to eat.
After graduating, her parents helped her find a job in a public institution. Although it was a labor dispatch, it was close to home and did not cost much. The parents bought a sea-view house for more than 1 million the year before, which will be Ying's future. .
Not only did Ying’s parents help her find a good job, Lian Ying’s current husband was also sought after by her parents. Ying’s parents asked her to introduce a local civil servant to her. The two of them got married after a year of love. , After all, knowing the roots and knowing the bottom line, the beloved girl naturally has a happy smile on her face.
4
If we were born in a native family of "Brother Demon" and "Brother Demon", if you are "Real Fan Shengmei", the editor gives you some suggestions:
1. If you go out to work and make money, your parents keep asking you for money, saying that it is to help your brother and brother, but they keep squeezing you, then you have to tell your parents what your bottom line is, help can help, but within your power Within the scope of the gang, it’s not like being squeezed all the time like a bottomless pit.
2. There are two ways of saying trauma in psychology, one is physical, and the other is verbal. If your native family brings you irreparable trauma and causes you to be depressed, we must Learn self-emotion regulation,When you are a child, others may harm you, but you have grown up and you must learn to heal yourself.
3. Even if your parents treat you as a "cash machine", you must save money for yourself, because if there is something, you can't count on your parents, they also count on you. If you keep squeezing you, the editor remembers " The words Ding Yi said before his death in The Three-Body "Stupid kids, run!"
Supporting parents, legally, is mainly aimed at parents who lack the ability to work and have difficulties in life, but out of morals, many children will be kind Our own parents, but for our brothers and sisters, we are not obligated to become "helping brothers" or "helping brothers".
Article 1067 of the Civil Code: Parents whose adult children fail to perform their maintenance obligations, lack the ability to work or have difficulties in living, have the right to demand maintenance payments from their adult children.
4. No matter what, the pain we have experienced in the past may still be alive, but we must learn to face it positively. In this world, there may be more unhappy people than you, but they have not been defeated because There is still light in their hearts, and that light gives them hope.
And a girl like Lolo is obviously lost and lost. As long as you have light in your heart, you can find the way to self-salvation. No matter what, don’t deny yourself easily. There is only one life, and Many beautiful things and scenery are waiting for you.
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