The divorce cooling-off period has really come.
Starting from January 1, 2021, couples who go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to negotiate a divorce must go through five steps: application, acceptance, cooling-off period, review, and registration (certification).
After the issuance of the certificate, both spouses need to collect the divorce certificate from the marriage registration office within 30 days after the expiration of the divorce cooling-off period. If the divorce application expires, the application for divorce will be withdrawn.
In addition, the marriage registration agency will no longer accept business requests for cancellation of marriage due to coercion.
After this clause was clarified, many netizens were dissatisfied.
Most netizens believe that the various setting of the divorce cooling-off period is another way to call on everyone not to get married.
Its appearance is not so much to persuade divorce, as it is to persuade marriage.
Of course, things have two sides, there are voices of opposition, and naturally there are voices of approval. Z3z
netizens who agree with this clause think that the matter of divorce really needs more time to consider.
Marriage is not easy after all, and you should do it and cherish it. Don’t ruin a marriage that could “rebuild the good old” just because of your “mood”.
However, in my opinion, rather than arguing about divorce, you should calm down. What is needed between men and women is to give themselves a cooling-off period before getting married.
01.
Marriage is not the same as falling in love.
can afford to lose in love, but cannot afford to lose in marriage.
When you choose to marry someone, the first thing you have to consider is whether you are ready to take responsibility for this marriage.
You must know that the source of marriage is love, but marriage is not equal to love, it is more of responsibility.
still remember a few years ago, a female reader left me a message saying that she finally married herself before the age of thirty. The 28-year-old female reader of
, named Jingjing, met her husband on a blind date.
At that time, she was her husband's fifth blind date. In contrast, her husband wanted a marriage more than her. After knowing each other for half a year, Jingjing felt that her husband was a reliable and worthy person for life, so they got the certificate and got married.
However, her husband passed Jingjing's consideration, but Jingjing forgot to consider herself. When
was just married, the two had a peaceful life, ordinary life, and occasional surprises.
However, over time, Jingjing’s various problems were exposed, and it was at this moment that she realized that she was actually not ready for marriage.
Before getting married, Jingjing once said to her husband that she likes children and wants to have children soon after marriage. However, after getting married, she regretted it. At this time, she didn't want to tie her up with her children.
But the husband and the husband’s mother hope that Jingjing can conceive the child as soon as possible. After all, the husband is 32 years old and is not young anymore. Their family needs a child too much.
Even so, Jingjing is still unwilling to compromise. In addition to not wanting to have children, Jingjing also "plays". Before getting married, Jingjing usually likes to go to the bar with friends to relax, and it is common to have fun all night.
And after getting married, she also stayed with friends from time to time as usual, and there was no lack of friends of the opposite sex.
Her husband knows all these things clearly, so whenever Jingjing and his friends go out, before ten o'clock in the evening, he starts to call Jingjing to urge her to go home.
Jingjing is very impatient about this. She has been a freedom advocator since she was a child. She did not expect that after getting married, she lost her favorite freedom.
She regretted her marriage, after all, she was sloppy.
At this time, she deeply realized why some people always say that marriage is a siege.
Indeed, she was trapped by this siege.
She wanted to break free, but her marriage told her not to be a deserter.
People often say that marriage is not a trifle.
This is not a joke, marriage itself cannot be a joke.
Marriage needs to be cautious, if you don't have the determination to go to the end, don't choose to start.
This is the greatest respect for yourself and marriage.
02.
Wang Xiaobo once wrote in his love letter to Li Yinhe:
"Hello, Li Yinhe, calm down and miss you. I feel that everything is incredible. I didn't know that love is so beautiful, and love is so beautiful in the depths. , I really don’t want anyone to take care of us, no one can take care of us, it has nothing to do with anyone. Tell you, when I think of you, my ugly face smiles. "Z3z
I think, every person in love, I can feel Wang Xiaobo's mood.
To love someone is to easily have the best emotions in the world.
If you fall in love with someone, the other person is God, and she can bestow you anything beautiful.
And her existence is beautiful in itself.
The so-called beauty in the eyes of lovers is such a truth.
But marriage is not the same. Marriage is a process of breaking the filter. It is best at digging out the bad things that are hidden under the good. Once you accept
, what you will face is a more real but longer marriage. And once you can’t accept it, what you will face is a disillusioned marriage.
The famous writer Li Ao and "Taiwan's No. 1 Beauty" Hu Yinmeng had a very short marriage.
One is a talented man and the other is the heroine of Qiong Yao Opera. The combination of the two can be regarded as the best example of a talented and beautiful woman.
However, good times did not last long, love at first sight, goodbye marriage, did not last long.
After only 115 days, the two parted ways.
and the reason is quite comedic. When a reporter asked Li Ao: "Hu Yinmeng is so beautiful and so infatuated with you, why are you willing to leave her?"
Li Ao replied, "I am a perfectionist. One day, I accidentally opened the bathroom without locks. See Hu Yinmeng, who is squatting on the toilet. His face flushed with constipation. It’s too unbearable."
Before that, Hu Yinmeng was Li Ao’s "goddess", in his opinion, "goddess" If it is not to eat the fireworks, the "goddess" should also be "spotless."
However, the truth is that Hu Yinmeng is a "goddess", but she is also an ordinary person.
At that time, hearing Li Ao's answer, Hu Yinmeng also responded: "Under the same roof, there is no real beauty."
Unfortunately, Hu Yinmeng understands but Li Ao does not.
still remember Wen Zhen once wrote in "I must have shortcomings":
"I must have shortcomings, the timing is erratic, I must not be known to most people, I must not be fully understood by people who know, everything is beyond doubt."
but Being such a real me can still get your understanding, can also attract you to approach, and can make you still like me. Then we must be the best companions. There is no doubt about this.
03.
Octavius once said:
"Love is a journey to try to penetrate others, but only when both parties surrender flags, love will win." This is the case with
marriage.
Two people must be willing to lose to each other in order to get a long marriage. The failure of
here does not mean giving up being yourself and giving up your own personality, but that both parties are willing to rely on each other and think about problems from the other's perspective.
marriage is like this sometimes.
is not that you are bad, nor that I am bad, but that we are inappropriate.
When Xinhui and Shiming were first together, they were always bad-mouthed by people around them, thinking they were inappropriate.
But suitability is not by looking or talking, but by getting along.
When the two are together, they often quarrel because of some trivial matters, but there is no quarrel that separates their feelings.
Because after every quarrel, Shiming always takes the initiative to talk to Xinhui, and Xinhui also thinks in another way. For two people like
, quarreling is the "fusion agent" of feelings for them.
In addition, Shiming often worked overtime and socializing until he went home late due to work reasons. Xinhui did not get angry because Shiming didn't have time to accompany herself, nor would he get upset because of his socializing.
She will only warm Shiming a bowl of soup when he comes home from overtime work.When he works hard, remind him to rest and pay attention to his body.
What about Shiming?
After the two have been together for a long time, Shiming will still send Xinhui her favorite tulip every Friday. He remembers every meaningful anniversary clearly.
Secularly, they are not suitable, but each other's hearts tell each other that they are very suitable.
They got married half a year later, and they were as happy after marriage as before.
marriage is like this.
are evenly matched and merged with each other to achieve the final victory.
If only one party "surrenders", the final outcome of the marriage is to be "aggression".
04.
read this sentence a long time ago:
"When two people meet, there are actually six people. That is their own eyes, their own eyes in the other's eyes, and their true selves." Only
Only when these "six people" fully recognize each other can they get a "pass" for marriage.
And the cooling-off period before marriage is the process of mutual understanding between these "six people".
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