was young, grandparents said that sensible children had sweets; when they grew up, the boss said that down-to-earth employees are the best. In this life, Chinese people are often too sensible. If they have wronged themselves, it is difficult for them to obtain real happiness.
The sensible education of our ancestors is deeply rooted in our hearts like a tree root, and runs through all aspects of our lives. This cowardly and distorted self-discipline is making us farther and farther away from happiness itself.
When you were young, your mother told you that the conditions at home are ordinary, you have to learn to be frugal, and you can wear old clothes; when you are in school, your mother tells you that you should listen to the teacher at school, don’t compare with classmates and spend money randomly; Now, my mother said to you, if you have a short mouth, you will be soft. Don't spend other people's money. Girls are a little higher.
All these things, you have written them down without exception, and you have done it. But in the end, you actually found out that those girls who cry, make troubles and act are happier than you?
Yueyue is a girl who grew up with a standard obedient education. Mom and Dad are ordinary working-class people. She has been well aware of the hardships of life since she was a child. She never asks her parents when she is sensible. She started doing summer part-time jobs during the summer after graduating from high school. She has been diligent and conscientious for so many years and lived consciously. Be practical and at ease.
fell in love later on. It’s very strange that she can’t feel the closeness and happiness described by others. On the contrary, she is always afraid of trouble: the light bulb at home is broken, the computer system is broken, and she spends money to ask someone to get it. I will definitely find a chance to go back.
once said to Yueyue, “Yueyue, you are really sensible and independent. I like your characteristics very much, but I always feel that I have no value in existence. You don’t need me to do anything. Last time you came back from a business trip in the middle of the night, it was so heavy rain, you did not let me pick you up, and in the end you caught a cold and got sick, I just knew, otherwise I might not know for a lifetime, you can be independent to this extent."
Yueyue suddenly realized that she would not allow the other party to help, and at the same time, she was unwilling to let him see her fragile side. She refused to trouble him to spend time and effort. In fact, she was maintaining her absolute independence. She took the initiative to shield everything. The possibility of dependence on the other party.
, but feelings, don’t they owe each other? If you don't bother me, and I won't trouble you, we keep a long distance, then we are only suitable for strangers. The boyfriend of
also said: "Maybe we need to reposition our relationship, because the future I can foresee is no involvement, no intersection, clean, and it will be separated." That night,
stayed up all night. She asked herself, why should she always guarantee her absolute independence? The three words "fear of trouble" suddenly appeared in Yueyue's mind.
If her boyfriend helped Yueyue change the light bulb, Yueyue may need to stay with her boyfriend for dinner; if her boyfriend helped Yueyue reinstall the system, Yueyue may need to ask her boyfriend to drink milk tea; if her boyfriend accompanies Yueyue to go shopping and date, Yueyue Maybe you need to knit a scarf for your boyfriend as a feedback.
But if you don't find a boyfriend at the beginning, Yueyue won't have to do anything. Without disturbing the other's life, there are enough reasons to persuade oneself to turn around and leave at any time, so as to avoid the contradictions caused by the close range, and to pretend that each other has been in peace with each other, so as not to face the misfortunes of oneself and the other party.
Everything is fine, but everything is fake. In the final analysis, this is not a problem of "trouble" the other party. It is because Yueyue dared not face the needy herself, because of deep inferiority, and worried that her true self is not worthy of everything good.
I heard this sentence on the show a few days ago, share it with you who are sensible and independent: You love me very much, and you know that I love you very much, so you should also know that I will not mind your bad, like You won't mind my shortcomings the same.
[Note: This article is original by the author "I am a confidant sister", and is not allowed to be reproduced without authorization. The picture comes from the Internet, if there is any copyright, please contact to delete it】
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