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all say that life is a long way, everyone at different ages will have different perceptions, especially for women.
The woman after middle age has faded from the original youthfulness, has entered a new stage of life, and has begun the second half of her life.
Whether facing family or children, career or life, there will be subtle changes in mentality.
has some initiative, but it's a robbery, not fate. The active contribution of
must also be balanced, and it is difficult to control the middle degree; sometimes the active contribution of
is not a kind of care in the eyes of the other party, but a kind of "sweet burden".
, especially for husbands, is too active to give, which brings a sense of bondage and burden, and also binds the marriage and prevents the relationship from continuing.
In addition, it is also inappropriate to actively care about friends of the opposite sex except for the other half. Since
has chosen to live with the other half, he must keep his heart in order to maintain the stability of the married life.
02
is too proactive and will become a shackle.
The way a couple get along after middle-aged is not vigorous, and only plain and flat can make life stable and happy.
In the process, however, some women have changed from partners to "mother-like wives."
The so-called mother-like wife is like a mother who actively contributes to everything, and wants to intervene in all aspects of life, for fear that the other party will not receive the care she deserves.
But once the positioning is wrong, the active contribution will become pressure, making the other person feel pressured and even want to escape. Z1z
Smart women understand that they must be rewarded for their efforts.
waiting for a man to pay is actually cultivating a man’s family concept and awareness, and proper care can return to the position of wife and partner.
especially after middle age, men also want to create what they want with their own hands;
they are also fully capable of taking care of their daily lives, and do not need to be too active. If
does not grasp the degree, then there will be problems someday.
A woman feels that she has not been rewarded because of her initiative, and her mentality is out of balance.
and men want to escape because of excessive pressure, feel restrained, or become pampered and arrogant. Such changes as
are not a good thing in married life, and they can easily lead to fate.
03
Don't take the initiative to care about other opposite sex. Since
chooses to be more husband and wife, we must remain loyal. Being loyal to the other half is not just a verbal promise, but must be implemented in life.
It is unreasonable for some women to take the initiative to care about other opposite sexes.
This is also unfair to the other half. From the other side's point of view, you can understand why such behavior hurts each other.
saw such a video before: The husband in the
video accidentally saw his wife take the initiative to care about a colleague of the opposite sex, asking him if he was going home during the Chinese New Year and whether he had bought tickets or the like.
Therefore, the husband asked his wife very angrily why she should take the initiative to care about other opposite sexes. The
wife was also very angry, thinking that the husband did not trust him, and the two had a big fight.
It can be seen that actively caring about the opposite sex, even if there is no inappropriate relationship, can easily cause some unnecessary misunderstandings.
If the marriage is covered with dust because of this, it is not worth the loss, so this kind of initiative can sometimes become a "catastrophe" in the marriage.
04
actively shoulder the burden of the family. In the marriage life of
, two people should share the burden of the family with each other;
is too active to pay, and the large-scale commitment will make men's values missing.
Men have their own self-esteem and want to take on the family through their own efforts, rather than relying on others.
A woman who is too proactive will make them feel worthless and do not need to be relied on.
In the TV series "Thirty Only", Xu Huanshan and Gu Jia are like this.
Although Gu Jia is a full-time wife, her husband’s company must be approved and signed by Gu Jia.Words to take effect.
Gu Jia not only takes the initiative in her career, but also takes care of all major and minor family matters.
can be understood in Xu Huanshan's eyes that Gu Jia does not believe in herself and is unwilling to let go;
herself has become an emptied role in the family and marriage relationship.
Wife has strong abilities, and it seems that she can live well without her own needs. Sons are more dependent on their wives, so they don’t have to consider family education.
At this time, the contradiction appeared, Xu Huanshan began to find value from the outside world, and the sense of worship with others, there also appeared the incident with Lin Youyou.
According to the words in the play, in fact, some of Lin's appearances are just one point, and the bigger problem lies between the two people.
So after middle age, women's initiative may not be able to lead the lover in a good direction;
will breed contradictions and problems in invisible places, and once it breaks out, it will pay a heavy price.
Women who take the initiative should also learn to let go, maybe stop taking the initiative, and also learn to let each other pay, which will make each other's feelings stronger.
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