A 56-year-old aunt enjoys her life on a self-driving trip
01
I wonder if you have seen a piece of news on the Internet these days: a 56-year-old woman is planning to "escape" the family for a year. Why did
escape? Having lived for most of my life and devoted most of my life to my family, why now I want to escape? What will happen to her family if she leaves? Is it possible that you don't have to take your grandson? Is it possible that my husband can let it go?
Many people may say that this aunt is too selfish, but when you understand her story, you will admire her for leaving. It's not easy for a woman in her life, and she finally has the ability to be herself, so why not be yourself presumptuously? The protagonist of the
story is called Su Min, 56 years old this year, and she started her bed car trip on the morning of September 23. Where to go is not important to her, the key is that she really escaped from the family and all her past identities. At this moment of leaving, she is temporarily not a wife, mother, daughter, or grandmother, but just an ordinary "tourist".
At a certain moment in 2020, Su Min made up his mind to live for himself once: leave the family and travel by car. She said, "The hardest time for auntie is over": having children, raising her daughter, watching her get married, having her own child, and then looking after her grandson to school age. She has fulfilled all her motherhood in the social sense. At the age of 50, the menstruation disappeared from the body, and the memory decline and wrinkles accelerated into life together. She felt that she could not wait any longer.
Su Min, are you selfish?
is not at all! Before she left, she had fulfilled all her motherhood in the social sense.
When Su Min told her daughter that she was going to travel, her daughter thought she was joking because she gave birth to twins and needed her help. But Su Min is very determined, "I explain that I will leave as soon as the youngest children go to kindergarten." After taking care of his two grandsons to kindergarten, Su Min can be considered worthy of his daughter. Everyone in
thought that Su Min was not serious, but when Su Min bought the travel equipment and delivered them one by one, her husband panicked a little. Why does Su Min's husband start to panic after leaving? Not because he was worried about Su Min, but because he was worried that Su Min was gone and no one would cook for him. Isn't it funny? In many cases, men don’t really worry about women’s comfort, just because he has no one to take care of, nothing more.
Su Min went all the way to many places after setting off. The son-in-law wanted her to rush home before the Chinese New Year, but Su Min only said: "I don't want to work for everyone."
She has been working for most of her life. At this moment, her voice is "I don't want to work for everyone." I think this sentence should also be able to poke the portrayal of millions of women's marriage: how many women have been so busy all their lives like Su Min, never stopped, never even lived for themselves, they have been constantly Work, but no one will appreciate you when you are busy. You are the nanny of this family, and everyone takes your dedication for granted. Did they really feel sorry for you?
The 56-year-old aunt is planning to "escape" the family for a year: her words hurt the marriage of millions of women.
02
In fact, there are deeper reasons behind Su Min's decision to leave.
She has been married to her husband for more than 30 years, but the two are like living in a parallel world. There is no emotion at all in their marriage. When two people get married, it is the traditional age to see each other, and the marriage is closed.
What do you say about their marriage? It's like a glass of boiled water with bitter gourd, and when you drink it, it's all bitter.
When she was young, she took her daughter out. The mother and daughter walked in front and the husband followed behind. After the daughter boarded in the third grade, they began to sleep in separate rooms. Every day, she heard her husband close the bedroom door, so she had the use of a sofa and TV. Quan; When her daughter came back from college, she and her husband had to live in a house, but bought a bunk bed. Although they live in the same room, they are all busy and do not interfere with each other. They are separated in everything, clothes, shoes, etc., just like Liu Shufen and Xu Bochang in "Wuwen Xidong". Although
is in her own home, Su Min dare not speak freely because her husband likes to stab them too much.
She had quarreled with her husband, and even touched her hands. Su Min was afraid that her husband would beat her. Once in an argument, Su Min became anxious, and he could hit her husband by grabbing the stool, but he didn't hit him because of hesitation. But the husband did something to herBut when I picked it up, I smashed it without any doubts.
Sure enough, men are still more ruthless than women.
In addition, Su Min and her husband are married under the AA system. Her husband is a savvy person who will figure out where she spends her money every month. Su Min was very angry, so he started working and earning money. What is ridiculous? Two people sleep in separate rooms, and the two people are separated financially, but the housework is yours alone, but no one will give you AA. Raising children is also your own business. A smart man will not let himself suffer. What's the meaning of marriage like AA.
?
The man has taken advantage of the marriage, but you are miserable.
How far is Su Min and her husband AA system? When her husband buys vegetables, she cooks; during the holidays, relatives go to buy gifts; the husband presses the fast-paid ETC in the car and asks Su Min to make up for him after the high-speed run; if Su Min uses her husband’s medical insurance to buy medicine, every time Tianren’s family changed the password; even if the daughter got married and the grandson celebrated her birthday, the two of them gave red envelopes separately.
In short, the economy is completely AA, and no one owes anyone, but what he owes you for housework is what it should be.
Then what are you? A free, upside-down nanny is not even as good as a nanny.
Seeing this, do you think Su Min's husband is too "chicken thief"!
Is this a family? When you take on housework, people say you are a family with you and you should do it, but this is not the case financially. To put it bluntly, I just want to take advantage, not to take responsibility, but to sit back and enjoy the benefits in marriage. The AA marriage has been long, how much affection can the two have? Even if a woman once had love, she is a little bit chilled by the trivialities of life.
For so many years, the husband's biggest contribution to this money is to buy vegetables, and then he may not even have to buy vegetables. The husband's worry about Su Min mentioned in the opening chapter is nothing more than that no one cooks for him, and he has no face to live with his daughter's house. Haha, as soon as Su Min left, the husband couldn't afford to live with his daughter's cheeky, and he was self-reliant.
Su Min's marriage is a suffocating marriage. There is no love, no responsibility, only calculations.
This kind of marriage also reflects the real marriage of some women. Many women are like Su Min, but the marriage is not easy, and they can’t be separated. It is more because of the children. The two have no feelings, but they still have to be tied up. Together, very helpless.
What makes Su Min feel weaker?
Her hard work over the past 30 years can be said to be nothing, because the house belongs to her husband and has nothing to do with her; the private car is written with her daughter's name. If she divorces her husband, she may not have a place to live. She has a pension, but divorced at such a young age, how will people treat her? Based on the above considerations, there is no divorce.
Older women in marriage, even if they have a bad life, they have to be patient and patient.
Su Min had suffered from severe depression, but even if he was ill, it seemed to more people to be hypocritical. With more and more mental pressure, she thought about leaving to live for herself. Su Min can drive, and she also saved part of the money to buy travel equipment.
Su Min called his mother after walking a long circle, and her mother said, "He didn't cheat or divorce, just a little bit, and he can live on." But Su Min didn't have the courage to tell her mother that after the age of 30, she and her husband had hardly lived together. Once you sleep in separate rooms for a long time between husband and wife, your hearts will be gone.
Su Min left because of what?
Long-term asexual marriage, loveless marriage, speechless marriage, widowhood parenting, widowhood marriage. The man in the marriage calculates you clearly, financially AA, but never AA in housework, you are responsible for everything. A man’s greatest ability is to make money, and he doesn’t even want to give it. What kind of feelings can you have between the two of you?
03
After Su Min's story was spread on the Internet, many netizens commented: I am envious of Su Min's courage. It is not easy for a woman to dare to live for herself.
has a comment from a netizen, which was approved by many people. The comment of
is "Nobody cooks for him after he left, let's see which group is not independent and needs marriage, it is men", and then many netizens left messages and wrote their own voices:
"Haha, isn't this my dad? Since my mom went out to be a confinement wife, he had a gloomy face every day at home. He didn’t know that he thought my mom went out and stole it. My dad didn’t earn much, and housework never Don’t do it, wait for others to serve you like an uncle every day. At such an old age, you live like a child every day, and you have to be pampered by others.”
“My dad is the same person. Eat when you’re cooked, and you’re done. Go straight away, whether he eats at the end or not, the leftovers and vomited bones are all left on the table waiting for you to clean up for him. The problem is that there is no thank you. I always said that my mother did not taste good. I’m not used to him, and I’m so surprised that “I don’t think it tastes good, just make it myself.” "Z2z
" I have been traveling with my mother for ten days after graduating from high school. When I called home, my father was taking my grandpa. Eat fried dough tiao soy milk, buy ready-made soy milk at night, go home to eat. I have no food for women, this is the status quo of many men. If you can buy it by yourself, you can’t do it. If your wife is buying it, you won’t be able to live."
"Man As I get older, I am more and more dependent on women. This is why middle-aged widows rarely find widows, but most men find a woman to serve themselves."
...
, etc., There are many comments like this.
What do I want to tell women?
Don't define yourself as a man's vassal. You have to make yourself a little bit selfish. Don't let them sit back and enjoy their lives in the marriage and do nothing. What do you want from such a man?
At the same time, I also remind the men: You always treat your wife as a free nanny, no one is a fool and will always spoil you. The wife you marry is not your mother. You don't care about your wife, and don't expect him to give you his heart. If you hurt her heart, you won't have a good life in your old age.
Su Min’s escape is something many women want to emulate, but many women may not be able to do it. Some of them are rich and incapable, and some are unable to do so freely and easily, and can't let go of the family that they have been paying for.
A woman is really tiring in her life. After marriage, she basically has no good life. Having children, her husband is caring, but it's okay to say that if you are not caring, you have to rely on yourself. You are self-reliant and a man hates you for spending his money. . You have to make money on your own, but you still have to be busy with housework, and everything is justified. After reaching the age of more than 50, I have to help the child with the child, and it is really non-stop. Think about it for yourself. Apart from the identity of your wife, mother, and grandma, you are still yourself.
Why does Su Min say "I don't want to work for everyone anymore"?
Because she has done enough, and when she is busy, no one will help her, even if someone can help her, she will not say such a thing.
woman, you will feel happy only if you love yourself more.
My mother is very similar to Su Min. She has been busy for our family all her life, cooking all her life, and taking care of my dad. If my dad left her, he would not know how to live, his clothes would be messy, and his food would be casual. He can have a good life only if my mother is by his side.
Therefore, a man still has to feel sorry for his wife, don't let her bear so much invisibly, don't take her contribution for granted. A woman must wake up and love herself more, and you will be happier.
Today's topic: What do you think of the 56-year-old aunt leaving? Welcome to leave a message.
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★ Author: YIBAO; emotion original author, wrote this world warm feelings matter.
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