In the previous section, we mentioned that the relationship between couples is very profound. Couples get along well, and other relationships will become very good. The so-called couples are regular. Therefore, the way of husband and wife is also the most important of the five morals. In a family, if parents can avoid quarreling and cultivate a sense of harmony in the home, then the children will probably not quarrel with others when they go out. The relationship between husband and wife does have a subtle influence on the children. So when the couple is right, the father and the son will kiss each other, and the brothers and sisters will also get together.
When "father and son are related", the child knows to be grateful for the hard work of his parents, and his gratitude for others will come to life. When he goes out of society and meets an officer who is very supportive and cultivated to him, he will naturally develop "the monarch and ministers are righteous" and will be loyal to his leader, which will naturally form this attitude. There is a famous saying in ancient times that "loyal ministers come from the door of filial sons", which is quite reasonable. Nowadays, there are so many job-hopping people. When they switched jobs, they only thought of their own wealth. They didn’t even think about the long-term cultivation of these officers, and some even jumped directly to his rival’s company and competed with their original company. . Okay, so "the ruler is righteous." Brothers and sisters can get along well. He knows how to take care of each other and help each other at home. When he gets along with his classmates and colleagues, his attitude is naturally expressed, so he will also make good friends with others.
So when a married couple is righteous, the five senses are righteous. Teaching how to treat a couple well is a very important knowledge. But friends, have you ever learned how to get along with husband and wife? Not taught in school textbooks. Why didn't you teach such an important thing? You see, the questions we tested in the past have little effect on life now, but they have been studied for a long time; but we have not learned the important principles that affect life.
Marital relationship should also be remembered, "be cautious at the beginning". Before you get married, you have to keep your eyes open and choose a good partner. Of course you have to choose others, and others also choose you. To find a good partner, you don't always go out for a blind date. This method is tiring. The best method is called Zhongxing Gongyue. As long as you polish your own aperture, many stars will come close, and you will be left to choose when the time comes. This is the brightest way to find an object.
Husbands and wives should be cautious at the beginning, and they should be aware of whether they can get along with each other for a lifetime. This is not a sloppy thing. Nowadays, many young men and women learn the way of couples and how to get along with men and women. They all learn from love songs. In the love song, it is said that when men and women get along, it is painful to love, to the end of love. It seems that if you are young, you are not a young man. "People are not frivolous and vain." Is this called love? Therefore, it is necessary to establish a correct attitude towards the relationship between men and women from the beginning of the child, and do not be misled by these love songs. I told him that people will go through some processes when getting along with each other. It must first start with "acquaintance", know, then develop "acquaintance", understand each other, then "cherish each other", cherish each other's karma, and then "love each other." "Finally, "marriage", is it over? Many people say that "marriage is the grave of love", which is misleading. If you get along well, the wine will grow older and more fragrant, so this has to be managed.
What is true love? True love is like a 70-year-old grandfather holding the hand of his 70-year-old lady, walking in the park. It's the kind of old couple that can see the taste of loving and cherishing each other. It's definitely not the kind of intense emotion, and it's easy to change. So we tell the children that this is a process of getting along with men and women and getting along with others.
If this boy met you today, he would immediately tell you: I love you so much. This must be a lie to you, this is not in line with nature, this is wrong. Then, if I meet you today, I will tell you, "It's not you who won't marry in my whole life, and it's not you who won't marry." He doesn't know who you are, he doesn't know your overall attitude towards people and things, and then he says he likes you very much. What is this called? Foolish words; but the power of fancy words is great, and you will not be able to bear it without considerable concentration, so you must first establish correct cognition for them. The process of getting acquainted to acquaintance should be very calm. For example, if you think this boy is good, you have to observe carefully to see how he gets along with his colleagues, how he gets along with his friends; or you and him It's a college classmate, you have to see how he gets along with other classmates. If you observe this objectively, you can truly understand his attitude towards life and doing things.
If you haven't recognized him at the beginning, you will watch movies, climb mountains, and drink coffee with him alone, He will definitely give him the best, not only will he be the best, but he will also perform to you at a super level; and then all the worst will be buried, so the he you know is not what he usually does. If he is very caring with other classmates and friends, he is very caring for others. If he really wants to cherish and love you, he will definitely give you a lot. Therefore, knowing each other must be objective and sensible. It is very dangerous for two people not to start activities. Dear friends, young people nowadays don't know this, so they are all in a very dangerous situation. There is a saying, "Combine because of misunderstanding, and separate because of understanding", yes! Because his understanding is superficial, not truly objective. Therefore, it is very important to know each other. Observe more and be calm.
Come to cherish each other again, cherish each other's karma and opportunities to get along, and then fall in love, and then walk on the end of the carpet. In this process of getting acquainted, it is very important to have a consensus before going to marriage. Many friends are very ambitious. She said: It doesn't matter if his concept is wrong, I will change him. Are there ambitions? There are many such people. I will tell her that there is a phrase called "Lord drunk lying in the battlefield, how many people have fought in ancient times", if you go with this attitude, not many people will come back and survive. Because by the age of 20 or 30, many habits and personalities have become more fixed, unless he is willing to change it, otherwise it will be difficult for others to reverse him. So we still have to go with the fate, don't force it, and find like-minded partners, so that marriage won't go very hard.
In love, how to love others? How to distinguish the true love between other people? You see, many people now use the word "love" to threaten others, have they? I love you very much, so what should you do for me. When you don’t understand love, you will probably control others with love everywhere, making your family painful and troubled everywhere.
When we look at the word "love", it is a comprehensive word, with a "heart" in the middle and a "receiving" on the outside. Therefore, love is felt with heart. What do you feel? Feel where the needs of others are. When the other person always feels your needs, they will know how to care for you. Your heart and your feelings will be very warm, and they will never be as painful as a love song. So the feeling of love is warm. We must now know whether it is true love or not. If it is not, we must make a decision quickly and not be obsessed with it.
The language of love is righteous, and its language will not be a lot of rhetoric. Today he will talk about you, and he will also talk about other people the next day. On the contrary, a man who is not good at rhetoric can be trusted, because his spirit and his intentions are not placed on such rhetoric, so he can't speak so much. Those who talk with bluffs just put their spirits on the scrutiny of these words. There is a lady in
. She said that she met her husband for the first time, and her husband said nothing. The first sentence was to say: Your teeth are not good. Then he said: So your intestines and stomach are not good, because your teeth are bad, and digestion is not good when you bite food, so the stomach and intestine burden will be heavy. Later, she thought, this person is really honest, without any rhetoric, and she told me my shortcomings at the first meeting. She felt very reliable, and later married him. Thinking about it later, she is really wise, she knows that people with upright speech are reliable. So the words of love should be upright.
love is selfless, he is selfless intentionally. A person who knows how to care for and love others should have the same attitude towards his parents, his wife, his friends, and even strangers. Nowadays, many men and women are dating, and the other party is unwilling to continue the relationship, he becomes angry and even hurts the other party. This is not selflessness, it is control, possessiveness, they are deceiving people wearing the cloak of love. So you have to be able to discern the desire, that is control and possession, it is definitely not love. They pollute this word of love.
The act of love is perfect, know how to perfect others. There is a teacher whose husband has a sister who studies and lives in Hawaii. It happened that my sister had financial problems, and her husband told his wife: We have saved some money in the past two or three years, and now my sister is in difficulties. I want to transfer all the money saved in these two or three years. Dear friends, if it were your husband, what would you say? The teacher said to her husband immediately, she said: I am very touched by you doing this. You selflessly take care of your sister. I believe your mother and your parents will be very pleased, so I support you in doing this. I will help you tomorrow. Send money. You see, this wife also goes to help her husband to do this, so the act of love is perfectThe kindness of the party fulfills the opposite behavior of the other party.
From these four angles, we can judge whether he really knows love. A friend suggested that he would add a little more after these four points, and he said that he would add "like reading sage books". This sentence makes a lot of sense. Because these attitudes to behave didn't come up suddenly, and they all had to learn the teachings of sages to form these correct attitudes.
Once we have selected the right object, we must operate and reach a consensus. The first important thing in the family is to educate the children well. The so-called "the most important thing is to teach children."
Let's think about it. If the husband and wife are both in good social status and rich in wealth, but the child spends a lot of time outside every day, will he be well for the rest of his life? impossible. It is not only the family that teaches the children well. Our emperor for thousands of years also recognizes that it is important to teach the next generation well, so the first and most important thing for them to enthrone the throne is to establish a prince. He also hopes that his dynasty can be in peace for a long time, and the prince will be upright in the world, so they all find the best teachers in the country to teach his children. When the husband and wife have reached such a consensus, they cooperate well.
In the relationship between the five relationships, the relationship between husband and wife is called "the difference between husband and wife", and the relationship between husband and wife is good, and difference is virtue. Don't be different in responsibility. In ancient times, it was the male lead outside and the female lead inside, because the family has two main axes, the first is material life, and the second is spiritual life. The male lead externally, solve economic problems and life problems; the female lead internally, educate the children well in spiritual life. Nowadays, many couples go out to work together, and the education of children is left to the nanny, teacher, cram school, etc.! So now there is a new term called "surrogate parents". As I just said, teacher, many children are sent to delayed classes after class. There are also many intergenerational education. There is also a surrogate parent that many parents will hire: TV, and now there are computers and mobile phones.
Dear friends, when we make a lot of money, have you been able to stay with you all the time? We must understand that wealth is shared by the five families. Floods require your money, fires require your money, corrupt officials want your money, and thieves and robbers want your money; these four are not powerful enough, and the last one is the most powerful. You are called a descendant of shame, you earn very hard, and he spends very happy. So, if you are making money on this side and leaking money on that side, you can't keep it. When we all use surrogate parents to teach our children, and in the end the children are ignorant, you may have to worry all your life, you may get depression, this is very dangerous.
Let's take a look at the children who are handed over to the tutoring class. The teacher can pay attention to the children who have tuition. They are less attentive in class. Because if he had learned the lesson today in a cram school, what would he think? He will pat the classmates next to him and say: I have learned that, I have learned that. He loses concentration in class. That's incredible! The most important thing in learning is to be attentive and focused. When he starts to be contemptuous about learning, his failure has been revealed. So he didn't pay attention to the lessons he had already taken. It just so happened that he hadn't learned the lesson today, so he would want the cram school teacher to teach it. Classmates like
, they would hold a few pieces of paper and read there before the exam. Those few papers are the key points that the tutors in the cram school helped them to sort out. These teachers are helping him when he reads. So they memorized it very seriously, and then immediately said after the exam: liberation! After two or three days, I will forget all this knowledge. Those with good grades but no tutoring, without these general information, are two or two classmates there, "Come on, I have sorted out some key points, I ask you, see if you can? You also ask me, see me Will it?" They are all honestly drawing the key points by themselves. When he is drawing the key points, he is already accumulating his learning ability bit by bit. Therefore, many people have a myth that as long as they spend money, they will have an effect; after spending money, they are not careful to see if children have really learned something. For the first one, we need to think about the effect of cram school.
second, babysitter. Many babysitters can't even speak Mandarin, so the speech and language skills of the next generation have been declining. Dear friends, the ability of Chinese is the foundation of all subjects. If Chinese is not good, it will be very difficult to learn other subjects. Not only are there problems in the language, but what attitude does the nanny use when taking care of the child? Is it a parent? No, he was treated as the boss and the emperor. Many children brought out by the nanny have to go out, sit in a small chair, spread their feet, and help him wear socks and shoes, so the living ability is very low. Such a child, if your business fails, he may starve to death. Wealth cannot last forever, you have to considerWhen the family is not so wealthy, does the child have the ability to live independently? To be farsighted. There are also reports that these children are served by nanny and servants at home. When they go to school, the teacher arranges sweeping work for him, and he negotiates with the teacher. He said that the teacher, I will give you money, and you will do it for me. What is in his values? All the money can be spent. So with this phenomenon, the maid can't use the attitude of parents to raise your children.
is the third one, and it’s up to another generation. Many elders are very sensible when they are parents. When they become grandparents, how can this grandson be so cute? He is so spoiled. Therefore, the effect of inter-generational education is not very good and will be spoiled.
come again, TV, computer, mobile phone, let alone, learn about these scenes of greed, hatred, foolishness, and slowness. We see that many children are very rebellious and rude in speech. Sometimes this is not necessarily learned from their parents, they are all with TV, computer and mobile phone. Watching TV and computers have a kind of hypnotic effect. If you notice that people watching TV, they seem to be isolated from the world, and it's useless for the people next to you to call it. why? Because the entire radiation and magnetic waves of the TV will make your brain look like a brain that has been isolated in a room for ninety-six hours. So the more I watch TV, the less I can think. Do you see why many expensive products like to run TV commercials and spend a lot of money? Because people are irrational when watching TV, watching the SKII wipe off, it will be crystal clear immediately, and I am drunk, so I bought it. Therefore, television has a profound effect on children's brains, and this has been scientifically proven. There is an article on Dafangguang's public welfare website called "Children Brought Up by Television". You can check it out; science has already researched out that television has a bad influence on children.
is good, so we understand that children's education still depends on themselves to be able to master it, because it is impossible for children to grow up again.
now ask your child to bring it by himself, can you do it? Immediately said: Teacher, people are in the rivers and lakes, involuntary, I agree with what you said.
Let's think about the first problem, which is the economic problem. Most people think that if two people don't make money together, they will starve to death. You see, we all have a lot of preset positions. Dear friends, in my grandfather’s generation, the husband and wife had only husbands who went out to make money, and they also gave birth to five, six, seven, or eight. Did they starve to death? No. Now we only raise one, and we still have two to earn, and we are afraid of starving to death. What's the problem? The problem lies in not grasping the core attitude of family governance: diligence and thrift. "Frugality is the root of family governance." As long as you are diligent and thrifty, don't squander it. In fact, the money you make by yourself can be used at home. Moreover, a person earns money by himself, and his family is very diligent and thrifty. From an early age, he has a very hardworking and thrifty attitude. You have made the child invincible and will not become a material slave.
Okay, let's analyze the economic aspects in the next class, thank you.
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