Text/Times
-01-
Some time ago I read a book called "There is no Ferris Wheel in Paris", and there is a classic sentence in it that makes me remember: the future I once dreamed of was disrupted, and it turned out It is a terrible thing to tie one's future to another person. Once there is no other person, the future will be lost. Even if the end of two people arrives alone, there is only one feeling in the end: I used to think that there would be two people standing here.
Everyone, when first involved in a relationship, hopes to be in love with each other to the end.
At that time, the most romantic love in my heart was probably with my beloved person, from Tian Qing to Mu Xue white head, hand in hand through the long years, no matter how the years pass, as long as you are with each other, it is like there is endless Power can face all storms.
However, in many cases, feelings are not as simple as writing a story. So many people have made the greatest effort in their feelings, but they still cannot control the ending of two people.
Therefore, many people have to face a new problem, that is: how to let go of a loved one. It is very difficult for
to put down a person, as there is a saying: "The more you want to forget a person, the more you have to remember the little things you have with him."
used to be together Time is so beautiful, no matter how embarrassing the breakup, but the more you want to deliberately forget, the clearer your inner memory about the past will be.
-02-
But in the final analysis, most people cannot forget a person because they feel that they have put too much energy, time and money on this relationship, so they are not willing to give up so easily. This is also the "sunk cost" in the relationship. The so-called "sunk cost" of
, in layman's terms, is what you have already done and the resulting costs.
The reason why many people can't let go of the past after their relationship is over is not because there is still much love, but because they are not reconciled to give so much.
But this is not a good phenomenon. Everything that has happened in the past should be allowed to pass. If you are still stuck in the past because you are not reconciled, you will not be able to get real happiness in this life.
Therefore, if you want to completely let go of someone, the best way is to give up the "sunk cost".
After all, the sunk cost is something you will definitely pay in your relationship. This is an uncontrollable cost. If you pay, you can’t get it back. So you don’t have to feel sorry for this, otherwise you will stay here forever. In the relationship, I feel aggrieved for my unwillingness.
-03-
Facts have proved that there is no way to completely put a person down by deleting and blocking. Only by recognizing the "sunk cost" and correcting one's own attitude can it be possible to continue moving forward.
This is not groundless, but the experience of many people:
Han Tong, 28 years old, broke up for eight months, he said: "Too much attachment to sunk costs, continuing the original mistakes will cause greater losses."
Probably everyone really falls in love with someone, and they are dating with the idea of wanting to enter the marriage hall with each other.
Therefore, this person is very special in your heart. Even if you part ways one day, he still occupies a precious place in your heart.
Therefore, you always miss the other person and always want to keep him, so you can't let it go.
Han Tong and his ex-girlfriend are like this. The ex-girlfriend is his first love. From the time of work, they have seen each other in the most impoverished appearance. They also encouraged each other to achieve what they are today. So for Han Tong, his ex-girlfriend is very important. Even if
broke up, he still pays attention to everything about his ex-girlfriend, and Han Tong will always show up as soon as his ex-girlfriend needs.
may be unwilling, maybe not enough love, Han Tong always thinks that they may reconcile, so keep giving, and finally the ex-girlfriend enjoys everything he has given, and walks into the marriage hall with others hand in hand, Han Tong this I realized that it was not that he could not let go, but that he was too attached to his previous feelings.
Shi Ying, 26 years old, broke up for a year, she said: "It's about looking forward to the future, noLook backward to put it down. "Z49z
gives up "sunk costs", which means that you should look forward to everything, not just thinking about the memories of the past.
After all, the past is the past, and there must be someone who really does not love the end. So you should put your energy into other things.
How did Shi Ying let go of her predecessor? It’s because she didn’t feel that the energy she put in before was not worthwhile. Of course, she was also very painful at the beginning, she always It was forcing herself not to think about the things in the past. Later, when she was busy at work, she didn’t have time to miss those things and that person.
occasionally did other things during work breaks.
gradually, busy Shi Ying I don’t think about my ex anymore. I occasionally chat with friends, and when my friends mention her ex-boyfriend, she can face it calmly and no longer feel sorry for her past efforts.
Liu Xin, 30, broke up for half a year, he said : "Those who feel reluctant to others often lose the most, so it is best to give up sunk costs and stop losses in time. There is a sentence in
"The Little Prince": "It is precisely because you spend time for your roses that make your roses so important. "The same is true in relationships. Because you give, this feeling will become extremely important in your heart. The more you want to take back something, the more you give, and the more you lose. Z1z
Liu Xin has always been I am very reluctant to ex-girlfriend. They have been together not long ago, but Liu Xin has always been actively contributing. The ex-girlfriend only needs to enjoy it.
Later, when his ex-girlfriend asked to break up, Liu Xin has been reluctant to let her go. Follow the pass.
because at first he felt that his ex-girlfriend told him that breaking up was a tantrum. He continued to treat her well, and the ex-girlfriend would still change his mind. Until the end of life and wealth, Liu Xin realized that he should have given up this relationship long ago. You won’t lose too much.
-04-
It’s not a difficult thing to put down a person. As long as you make a decision to bury the past, you will naturally find a way to put it down.
In fact, you are not unable to put down that person. , But can’t let go of the feelings you paid. This is the cost you invested in this relationship, but after you choose to separate, these costs become "sunk costs."
and "sunk costs" are irreparable In any case, you won’t be compensated, and your relationship won’t turn around. So, why not put the energy of remembering the past in front of your eyes, try to work hard or cultivate new hobbies, or meet new people... …Z1z
When you no longer regard the past as the whole of your life and start a new life, real happiness will come to you. Z1z
, to put it bluntly, there are no obstacles in life, and your unwillingness will only hinder you from renewing Get happiness. Why don't
look a little away, when love is a thing of the past, why not deal with this relationship by "breaking away"?
cuts off the complexity and simplifies life; abandons the burden and moves forward steadily; free from obsession, letting go is the rudder.
In this life, only if you let go, can you move on.
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