A survey for singles shows that more than 60% of single youths in the interviewed population have been single for more than 3 years, and more than half of them are “active singles” J.
Indeed, in recent years, the group of singles has become larger and larger. They are different from those who are "passive singles". They are used to and enjoying one's life, refuse to fall in love, and even have done a good job not to marry for life. Preparation. The
survey shows that most of them have better conditions themselves. It stands to reason that they are in a relatively advantageous position in the marriage and love value market, and they have a greater certainty to attract the opposite sex and obtain a relatively good marriage.
But they resist love and marriage psychologically, preferring to live alone. Why on earth?
I think this problem can be analyzed from the two levels of the singleton’s own state of existence and the large social environment. Obviously, the large environment is the root cause, which promotes single men and women to re-choose their lifestyle and state of existence spontaneously.
From the perspective of the individual, on the one hand, internal self-sufficiency enables individuals to choose to be single:
Celibacy was developed in the modern era of enlightenment, accompanied by the wave of individualism. The root cause of the rise is nothing more than the loose social environment and the awakening of individual self-awareness of people's reconstruction and thinking of the state of self-existence.
In short, the individual can maintain the material and spiritual "balance of supply and demand". For singles, partners and marriage have largely lost the value and meaning of existence.
Li Yinhe, a liberal feminist, once said, “If you want to be free and happy, you must support yourself independently. He does not depend on anyone in his material life, nor does he rely on anyone in his spiritual life.” In other words, a person is both spiritual and material. A person who can be self-independent and self-satisfied in life is himself a "self-sufficient" person, and his heart is full of integrity, free and happy without relying on external objects-and in this state, he has completely "capital" , Have the "confidence" to choose a single life state.
In addition, the more abundant and outstanding people are, the more deeply they will think about the meaning of life and the realization of self-worth than ordinary people. The more they have higher requirements for freedom and happiness, the more Unwilling to sacrifice themselves for a marriage full of unknowns and uncertainties-this again constitutes the necessity for them to actively choose to be single.
On the other hand, it is difficult to find an external soul mate, which makes singles treat love "runningly better":
When asked about "how to find a soul mate", Li Yinhe replied : First you have to have a soul, second is the ability to love, and finally you have to have luck.
and analyze these three conditions in detail, not to mention that the first two have been "screened out" most of the vulgar generations in the world, nor that "fate is fixed, luck is uncontrollable". Looking for love has become a kind of honor and luxury;
only talks about: a person who has both the soul and the ability to love has reached a higher level, and the higher the level, the obviously the other half’s requirements The more demanding it is, wouldn't it lower the probability of finding a soul mate?
shows that it is not easy for contemporary young people to realize their ideal love.
In addition, with the improvement of material living conditions, people not only put forward higher requirements for spiritual needs, but also have more levels of inner emotional needs.
It’s not difficult to find friends who insist on celibacy around you. They are not only excellent, but most of them belong to perfectionists and romantics. They have high requirements and expectations for their own quality of life. Just ask: Such people How is it possible to accept a low-quality marriage?
From an external perspective, the high cost of occurrence and maintenance of love and marriage in today's society makes young people who are already under pressure to survive and burdened "overwhelmed" and "daunted":
In recent years, the domestic marriage rate has declined for 5 consecutive years, but the divorce rate has increased year by year. The marriageable age is a single population group living alone.The body also shows a trend of expansion. Another scholar once conducted an emotional survey. Nearly 80% of young people feel that they cannot afford the high consumption brought about by marriage. Some of them are more cautious about love and marriage, while others simply "give up" and "reject". Enter marriage and insist on celibacy.
And economic burden is only one reason why young people are "daunted" by marriage. In addition, the complicated and trivial family conflicts and emotional problems in marriage are also an important consideration for singles who are unwilling to sacrifice themselves and give up freedom.
But these singles still advocate love, believe in love, and believe in the existence of happy marriage, but for themselves, they enjoy the pleasure of being single more. They believe that the realization of self-happiness lies in the freedom of one’s life. It's not about being old with another person.
For them, instead of managing a relationship, facing various conflicts, and bearing the consequences, it is better to be alone and feel at ease. Everyone has their own happiness, and being single or living alone is their happiness.
So, for young people, should they be single or married? How should we obtain our own happiness?
01), to become a truly independent individual
In fact, to a certain extent, no matter how independent a person is spiritually and how self-sufficient he is in material, his heart desires an emotional attachment and Belonging, therefore, love and be loved are always important to us.
But only after becoming an independent individual can a person be able and qualified to make a value choice that truly meets his inner desires. At that time, no matter which way of living you choose, you can gain your own happiness and happiness. Satisfy.
Therefore, we must first have independent soul attributes. In short, everything we say and everything we do can represent our own wishes, that is, we can rely on our own strength. Survive with quality.
02)、Choose a lifestyle that suits you
When we don’t have to rely on others to obtain survival information, and we don’t have to please others to obtain spiritual support, we are qualified and able to choose which suits ourselves Lifestyle too.
People and people are different. The reason why some people choose to be single or unmarried under basically the same conditions, and some people choose not to give up the pursuit of love for a lifetime is because of their innate aptitude or acquired experience. Different intensities of emotional needs and differences in value choices.
Of course, there is no difference between good and bad, good and evil. We neither have to force ourselves to submit to a low-quality marriage because we are afraid of worldly voices, nor do we need to label ourselves as singles in order to catch up with new trends and be original. The person-the only selection criterion is your own inner voice.
03), follow the karma and live in the present
After all efforts and choices are made, the best life attitude should be to follow the karma and live in the present.
Whether you are singles or people who are on the road to pursue love, they are all following their own inner voice, chasing their own wants and desires;
But there are things in life that require waiting and opportunity Don’t force it. As there is a saying, "You are only responsible for the wonderful, God has its own arrangements." Make feasible efforts and strive for a certain result within the possible conditions. "--In any case, you should not be contaminated with your good mentality and good luck by too persistent thoughts.
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