comes from Night Listening
The 8 most ruthless social unspoken rules
Anchor | Zhihan Text | Wanzi
Some time ago, I saw this sentence:
"I don’t know when the relationship between people started to become pure and clean.
Some relationships are intimate on the surface, but they are always calculating behind the scenes; some people seem to be sincere to you, but in fact they have their own routine."
deeply agrees.
People cannot live without friends in this life, and many worries come from interpersonal relationships.
How to grasp the scale between each other and how to be decent and generous in social interactions test not only personal abilities, but also the performance of a person's emotional intelligence.
Only by understanding human nature and people's hearts can we better integrate into society.
These 8 unspoken rules of interpersonal communication, no one explicitly states them, can save you many detours and make your life smoother and smoother.
If you want to give others a bowl of water, you should have a bucket of water yourself
Liang Shiqiu in "Life is Too Bad" "So" wrote:
"The fun of middle age is to understand life quite well, understand what you can do, and enjoy the life you can enjoy."
In the vanity fair of interpersonal communication, when we always need help, there are also things to lend a helping hand.
Don’t take yourself too seriously and don’t agree without scruples.
Only by learning to act within your ability can you better help others and yourself.
You have to know that there are always limits to a person's abilities.
Blindly pretending to be fat and depleting yourself to satisfy others will only disrupt your own life in the end.
As the old saying goes: "Don't bear heavy burdens if you have little strength, and don't persuade others with light words."
Real help is never about being tough, but about doing the best you can with your own strength.
Remember: Never drag others down just to save face; and don’t let embarrassment hurt yourself.
The best way to help each other is to know clearly what we can and cannot help.
Staying silent when you don’t understand will make you look smarter
"We talk every day, but we may not know how to speak; many people talk all their lives, but they don’t say a few words well."
As the saying goes, talking too much will lead to mistakes, and disaster comes from speaking.
Many times, the real ability to speak is never a long speech, but knowing how to remain silent at the appropriate time.
There are always some things that cannot be said to outsiders; there are always some things that can only be hidden deep in the heart.
Don’t talk nonsense when you don’t understand, and don’t talk nonsense when you don’t understand.
Really smart people never give themselves trouble.
They are more willing to do the right things and say the right words. This is basic respect for others and allows them to advance and retreat in a controlled manner.
And a person who knows how to be silent at the right time is his most advanced way of doing things.
Don’t let others treat you as a cash machine, treat them as your confidant
The bustling world is all for profit; the bustling world is all for profit.
For many people, "profitable" relationships are the first priority, and relationships are the icing on the cake.
Don't talk about feelings when you should talk about interests.
Because interests are the basis of relationships regardless of society or human relationships;
Because no matter how deep the relationship is, it is not worth mentioning in the face of personal interests.
There is a saying: "The foundation of human connections is to learn to replace resources."
If you want to get help from others, the first thing you have to do is not to play the emotional card, but to provide value that is beneficial to yourself.
Only when we see the nature of interpersonal communication clearly can we understand how to utilize human nature and realize value exchange.
Everyone grows up in a different environment and has different values, so don’t judge others by yourself, even if it’s not very important to you
Schopenhauer once said: "What hinders people from discovering the truth is not the illusion of things, nor the flaws in people's reasoning abilities, but the prejudices they have accumulated before."
In life, there is always a group of people: they often use themselves to judge others and judge the truth of others; they use their own selfish desires to make final conclusions for others.
But the world is such a big place, and everyone has their own standpoints and opinions. If you can't think from others' perspective, at least don't let yourself become a one-sided guest who follows what others say.
Know people but don’t judge others, and know people but don’t make public.
Many times, what we see is not necessarily the truth; what we think is the fact is not necessarily the truth.
does not know the full story and will not comment.
Maybe we cannot empathize with others, but we can be more patient and wait for the truth;
Maybe we have never experienced the suffering of others, but we can do it without making unnecessary comments.
What makes people shut up is often not truth, but identity or status.
There is a saying: "No matter what you do, you must first have the ability. Only after you have achieved results will you have the confidence. Only what you say can be recognized by others."
In this world, ability will always determine strength, and strength determines social status.
The stronger you are, the more respect you get, and you also have more qualifications and rights to support others and alert those around you.
You have to know that human nature is all about being strong.
Only by becoming a powerful person can our words have weight and more people will take us seriously.
When you are rejected, think about why others should help you
In life, there is always a group of people: they rely on their parents at home and friends outside.
never knows how to solve problems by himself, and always wants to ask others to tide over difficulties.
But everyone is an independent individual, and no one is obligated to help you.
There is a saying: "There is no natural love in life, and there is no natural love."
In this life, it is not easy to meet someone who sincerely helps you, so never let down anyone who has helped you.
You have to know that others do not help you because they owe you.
If you want to get through every difficulty, in the final analysis, the only one you can rely on is yourself.
There are many things in this world that you can work hard on, but not between people. Anyone who does not make it to the end is not a fellow traveler from the beginning.
"The Law of Attraction" says: "What kind of person you are, you will attract what kind of people and energy."
Birds of a feather flock together, and people form groups.
Many of the unexpected surprises you think are actually destiny.
Just like people who once thought they would be together for a long time suddenly parted ways one day;
Two people who once thought they had nothing in common will stay together for a long time at some point.
People with different frequencies cannot stay together for a long time no matter how much they like each other; only with the same frequency can we stay together for a lifetime.
As the saying goes: "People who are on the same page have a future to go to and years to look back."
Humanity is to make others happy and make them think you are trustworthy. As long as he is happy once, he will think about it the second time.
"Knowledge of everything in the world is knowledge, and understanding of human relationships is an article."
When getting along with others, if you want others to treat you well, you must first make others feel comfortable.
A considerate word, a subtle action, a proper tolerance, a silent respect...
In the final analysis, making others feel comfortable means taking the other person into consideration.
Put yourself in someone else’s shoes and consider others’ emotions;
will neither embarrass the other person nor base your own happiness on the pain of others.
There is a saying: "The degree to which you make others comfortable determines the height you can reach."
When a person regards being comfortable with others as an instinct, he will be able to navigate the social scene with ease.
We are about to enter 2023. Ye Ting hopes that these 8 hidden social rules can help you better integrate into society and understand the people around you.
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