Introduction
In fact, I think any family conflict cannot be solved by force. After all, force will only deepen the conflict and will not solve the problem. Especially when the children are older, everyone has self-esteem. If you encounter a child with a strong self-esteem, if you use force to suppress him, he will only become more and more disgusted, and even do the opposite.
Consanguineous marriage
Chen Xiaochen's mother was born in a family with many children. She was the third child in the family. Logically speaking, she should have been married long before her younger brothers and sisters got married. After all, she was older than her younger brothers and sisters. But in the end, all the children in the family got married, and she was the only one who was not married.
At that time, her grandparents were worried about her mother's marriage, and several of her aunts helped her mother find a partner, but in the end, no one fell in love with her mother. Everyone either disliked her mother for being short, or they disliked her mother for being ugly and having big buck teeth. Moreover, the living conditions of her grandparents' family were not very good at that time, which made no one willing to date her mother. After
was disliked by so many people, her mother was also disappointed. She felt that it was not her unwillingness to marry, but that no one wanted to marry her. This was not her fault, but her grandparents did not think so, because her two uncles were already married. One uncle had already given birth to a child, and the other uncle was about to give birth to a second child. It was indeed a bit crowded for such a large family to live together.
Moreover, her two aunts complained to her grandparents more than once, asking them to marry off her mother quickly, so that their family could live more comfortably, and they would have one less set of dishes for daily meals, which would save a lot of food in the next year. Seeing her two daughters-in-law making fun of her girl, her grandparents felt very uncomfortable. Her grandparents also wanted to say something for her mother, but there was no valid reason.
In the end, they had no choice but to ask someone to introduce someone to her mother. However, her grandparents found several matchmakers, but none of them were willing to help her mother. They all disliked that her mother's own conditions were not very good, and her family was not rich, so it was really difficult to find a good husband. After seeing everyone rejecting her, her grandparents felt very disappointed.
But they didn't want to give up so quickly, so they prepared some generous gifts and planned to go find a matchmaker with whom they usually had a good relationship. When they arrived at the matchmaker's house, they said all their good and bad things. Finally, the matchmaker finally relented and agreed to help their girl find a husband. In fact, the matchmaker said that day that she had a candidate, but she didn't know whether her grandparents agreed.
Because the other party is still somewhat related to her grandparents, four generations apart, but logically speaking, collateral lines must be at least five generations apart before they can get married, otherwise it will be considered an incest marriage, which will have an impact on their next generation. Since the matchmaker knew about this relationship before, she has not spoken to her grandparents about it.
After hearing the matchmaker explain the stakes of the matter, her grandparents hesitated, but at present they had no better choice, so they finally had to agree to the matchmaker's proposal, so Xiaochen's parents met like this, and then they got married. After the marriage, they gradually had her, and her parents had actually given birth to two children before giving birth to her.
It may be because of incest marriage. Their first two children had varying degrees of disabilities and unfortunately died in infancy. It was not easy to have Xiaochen. At that time, her parents hoped that Xiaochen could grow up safely and healthily. They really couldn't bear the pain of losing a child. Fortunately, Xiaochen was relatively upbeat. She had been in good health since she was a child and had not had any serious illnesses. Watching Xiaochen grow up healthily and safely day by day, the stone in her parents' hearts finally fell to the ground.
Interference in daughter's marriage
Her parents stopped having children after giving birth to Xiaochen due to health reasons, so they held Xiaochen's special treasure in their hands and raised her since she was a child. Even if Xiaochen grew up and got married, her parents were still worried about Xiaochen living with her husband Xiao Liu at their home. They just wanted to watch their daughter every day, so they felt at ease.
So when Xiaochen got married, they made a request to Xiao Liu. Because Xiaochen was the only daughter in their family, they naturally didn't want their daughter to leave them and live at her husband's house, so they thought that if Xiaochen got married later, they wanted Xiao Liu to come and live with them. After hearing this request from his future father-in-law and mother-in-law, Xiao Liu was particularly reluctant, but he did not refuse immediately.
Because it was not easy for him and Xiaochen to get together. When they were in love, he was still chasing Xiaochen. Xiaochen also had a bad relationship with her parents, so her parents agreed that she and Xiao Liu would be together. Now they have been dating for several years, and their relationship is very stable. Now they are planning to get married. Unexpectedly, his father-in-law and mother-in-law have made new demands, and he doesn't want to give up on this relationship just like that.
So he conveyed the request of his father-in-law and mother-in-law to his parents at home to see what they thought. When his parents heard what Xiao Liu said, they felt very aggrieved. According to the request of his father-in-law and mother-in-law, wouldn't this be It was just to let their son marry into their family. This kind of request made them particularly shameless, because it was not that their family could not afford a wife, and for Xiao Liu to marry a wife, they had prepared the bride price early and renovated the house in their hometown.
Suddenly there was such an unprecedented request, which made Xiao Liu's parents really helpless. However, Xiao Liu also had an older brother, and his brother lived at home after getting married, so for Xiao Liu's happiness, his parents agreed. After getting married, Xiao Liu officially lived in the home of his father-in-law and mother-in-law. Except for coming back during the holidays, he spent the rest of the time at his father-in-law and mother-in-law's home.
Xiao Liu was not used to it at first. Although this was his wife's natal home, he felt that it was not as comfortable as living in his own home. Moreover, at home, he would often pay attention to whether his father-in-law and mother-in-law had any objections to him. In fact, he had overthought these things, so Because his father-in-law and mother-in-law have been very kind to him since he moved in, treating him like a son, and his wife Xiaochen is also very good to him. Except for the financial power of the family, which is under the control of his wife, he can do other things according to his own wishes, and his wife will not interfere.
But such peaceful days were broken after the birth of their first child. When Xiaochen was pregnant with their son, she was very well nourished. Every day her father-in-law and mother-in-law would provide her with delicious food. They were afraid that Xiao Liu would not take good care of their daughter and Xiaochen would fall. However, Xiao Liu felt that Xiaochen should go out and walk appropriately since she ate so much every day. This would also help her in the future.
In fact, Xiaochen herself wanted to go out and walk around, but her parents wouldn't let Xiao Liu take her out, so she had no choice but to give up and just stay at home and watch TV. Sure enough, when they went for a prenatal check-up in the third trimester of pregnancy, the doctor said that the baby in Xiaochen's belly was too big and told her to eat less and try to control her appetite. But when she came home and saw her parents cooking a large table of meals, she couldn't help but eat a few more bites.
Seeing that Xiaochen couldn't control his mouth, Xiao Liu was very angry, so he told his father-in-law and mother-in-law about Xiaochen's pregnancy test. However, his father-in-law and mother-in-law didn't seem to care what Xiao Liu said. They just wanted their daughter to eat happily. That was fine. After seeing his wife and his father-in-law and mother-in-law breathe out from one nostril, Xiao Liu stopped talking. When it was time to give birth, the doctor said that Xiaochen was pregnant with a giant baby and needed a caesarean section. Otherwise, it would be difficult to give birth naturally.
But Xiaochen insisted on giving birth naturally. She said that caesarean section would cause great damage to the body, and recovery would be much slower in the future. The doctor had already said at that time that her condition was no longer allowed. , saying that natural birth has great risks, but Xiaochen still wanted to try it on her own first, and it would not be too late to switch to caesarean section later if it didn't work. At that time, Xiao Liu wanted Xiaochen to suffer less, and asked her to switch to caesarean section directly. Don't go through such trouble anymore, which is not good for her and the baby.
But obviously Xiaochen did not adopt Xiao Liu's advice and continued to insist on a normal delivery. However, after a few hours, the child was still not born, and Xiaochen had used up all her strength. Finally, for the safety of the child, Xiaochen agreed to have a caesarean section. But after the child was born, Xiaochen suffered from depression. She didn't want to see anyone every day, and she didn't eat or drink. She became very irritable when she heard the child cry, and then she started crying too.
Seeing Xiaochen like this, Xiao Liu felt very sorry for her, but all he could do at this moment was to take good care of Xiaochen and ease her emotions. He knew that Xiaochen had suffered a lot in order to give birth to their son, so he tried his best to be nicer to Xiaochen every day, and the child was also the same. Xiao Liu was taking care of her. Xiaochen was coaxing the child except for breastfeeding. Later, after Xiaochen's period was over, her mood slowly returned to normal, and she was no longer so depressed. When she saw the child crying aside, she would sometimes take the initiative to comfort him.
Seeing that Xiaochen was slowly getting better, Xiao Liu felt very happy. However, when the child was half a year old, Xiao Liu's mother suddenly suffered a stroke and was hospitalized. At that time, it was Xiao Liu's father who called him urgently. Xiao Liu was so anxious at that time that he wanted to rush to the hospital quickly to see how his mother was doing. In fact, he felt very guilty about his parents in the past six months. He had not been home to see his parents since Xiaochen gave birth, so this time when his mother was sick, he had to go back no matter what.
Because he usually takes care of the child, before going home, he wanted to entrust the child to his father-in-law and his mother-in-law to help take care of the child. He knew that Xiaochen was not very good at taking care of children. In fact, his father-in-law and mother-in-law were quite willing to take care of the child at the time, but because they were busy with business and could not spare time, they still asked Xiao Liu to continue to take care of him. When his mother was discharged from the hospital later, it would not be too late for him to go home to see his mother.
After hearing what his father-in-law and mother-in-law said, Xiao Liu was particularly angry. He felt that he had given enough to his father-in-law and mother-in-law's family, but he did not expect that his father-in-law and mother-in-law would not let him go to the hospital to see his mother. , This was really unjustifiable, so he quarreled with his father-in-law on the spot. His father-in-law was very angry when he saw him staring at him, so he gave him a few slaps. After being slapped by his father-in-law, Xiao Liu was very angry, but because his father-in-law was his elder, he had to admit defeat.
But after being beaten, he went to the hospital to see his mother no matter what. But his father-in-law directly issued a military order to prevent him from going back. If he went back, he would ask his daughter to divorce him. When he heard that he was threatened with divorce, he gave up because he didn't want to divorce Xiaochen, and their child was just born, so he endured it this time. Later, he really waited for his mother to be discharged from the hospital before going home to see her.
After this conflict, Xiao Liu became even more dissatisfied with his father-in-law and mother-in-law. Later, his father-in-law and mother-in-law refused to let him go out for various reasons and asked him to stay at home to take care of the children. If there was really something important to go out, he had to tell them so that they allowed Xiao Liu to go out. Although Xiao Liu wanted to resist, he thought that his wife and children were still at his father-in-law and mother-in-law's house, so he had to endure it silently.
Maybe his father-in-law and mother-in-law later knew that he was feeling aggrieved, so they thought of giving him the business so that he could go out and do business with them. Seeing that his father-in-law and mother-in-law suddenly wanted to promote him, Xiao Liu was quite happy. However, after a few years of working, he found that his father-in-law and mother-in-law did not really want to give him the business at all, but wanted him to do hard work for them for free.
After learning about the original intentions of his father-in-law and mother-in-law, the fire in Xiao Liu's heart was ignited again, but Xiaochen felt that Xiao Liu was ignorant of good and evil. Xiaochen said that her parents regarded Xiao Liu as their own son. She did not expect that Xiao Liu was so ungrateful and slandered them. Later, she and Xiao Liu had a big quarrel because of this matter.
Mediation
After the quarrel, Xiao Liu ran away from home and refused to answer Xiaochen’s calls. No one could contact him. Xiaochen panicked at that time and quickly contacted the mediator, asking them to help contact Xiao Liu.
Finally, the mediator finally contacted Xiao Liu, but Xiao Liu was unwilling to come back. He said that it was okay to let him come back, but he no longer wanted to live with his father-in-law and mother-in-law. He felt that living with his father-in-law and mother-in-law was too depressing, and it would also deepen the conflicts between the couple.
After listening to Xiao Liu's appeal, Xiaochen's parents agreed to live separately from them, and also stated that they would never interfere with their marriage in the future.
is written at the end.
feels that the reason why Xiao Liu ran away from home was completely forced by his father-in-law and mother-in-law. Moreover, his wife Xiaochen did not understand him. She only vented her anger on the same nose as her parents and did not understand Xiao Liu's inner thoughts and feelings at all. Anyone else might not be able to bear this.
Fortunately, Xiao Liu still has Xiaochen and the child in his heart. He did not file for divorce from Xiaochen, but only proposed that he and his father-in-law and mother-in-law live separately. In fact, this also shows that he still wants to live with Xiaochen. He hopes that his father-in-law and mother-in-law will really do what they say and will not interfere with their marriage in the future. If they interfere again later, the marriage of their young couple will probably start to show red light.
Therefore, parents should really try to interfere as little as possible in their children's marriages, and if they get married, it is better to live separately from them as much as possible. This will also reduce a lot of unnecessary conflicts. I don’t know what everyone thinks about
? Welcome to express your opinion!
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