Shortly after the marriage, I became tired of my husband's "steady" and unconsciously fell into the emotional vortex with other men. From then on, I began to betray love and betray marriage... However, when I told my husband about the cheating incident, I wanted to break up with

Shortly after marriage, I became tired of my husband's "steady" and unconsciously fell into the emotional vortex with other men. From then on, I began to betray love and betray marriage...

However, when I told my husband about the cheating incident, I wanted to break up with him, I suddenly realized that the so-called vigorous love was just a "love game" "designed" by the man. She suddenly became nothing and almost in pain...

Extramarital love touched my heart that longed for romance

In March 1996, when I was a senior, I was in my graduation internship, I suddenly received a call from my neighbor saying that my mother suddenly had a heart attack and was sent to the hospital for emergency treatment.

When I rushed home two days later, my mother was out of danger. I lost my father at the age of 10 and have always depended on my mother for life, so I am very grateful to Zhang Yang, the attending doctor who saved her life. Especially her mother, she thought she had no hope of survival, but Zhang Yang helped her recover quickly.

During the hospitalization period, my mother learned that Zhang Yang was from Hebei and was assigned to the hospital after graduating from a famous medical university in the south and had not yet started a family. In this way, my mother intended to match us, and Zhang Yang immediately expressed that she liked me very much.

Zhang Yang is 4 years older than me, and he is introverted and rigid. I am very eager for romance when I read Chinese, but in order not to hurt my mother's heart, I still agreed. After graduation, I was assigned to a newspaper as an editor, and after half a year, I hurriedly got married to him. At that time, Zhang Yang had just been promoted to deputy director of the department. The reason for marrying him was that I wanted to satisfy my vanity: a decent husband and a decorative home.

September 30, 1998 is our wedding anniversary. I prepared dinner and waited for him to come back. When I saw that he was empty-handed, I resisted the disappointment in my heart and reminded him: "Today is a special day. You can go to the flower shop downstairs to buy a bouquet of flowers for me!" He took off his coat and smiled, "I have had two major surgeries in a row today, and people are exhausted. Can't you change that little bit of the mood of children?" Then he saw that I was a little angry and turned around and went out helplessly.

After a while, he took a bouquet of red roses into the door. When he handed it to me, he even gently kissed my face, but I clearly felt that this was just a kind of response from him. My heart sinks little by little.

When he went to bed at night, he noticed my depression and said, "Let's have a child, so you won't be idle and think about it." I didn't answer him, and sighed in my heart. I began to get tired of this boring marriage life, so I wrote for some newspapers and magazines to relieve depression while working as an editor.

At the beginning of 1999, a Zhejiang author named Su Ling sent me several landscape essays in succession. From the elegant writing, I feel the author's elegance and erudition. I quickly compiled and published his manuscript and wrote a letter to strengthen contact with him.

Not long after, he replied to express his warm thanks and hoped to be a literary friend with me. He told me that he is a literary director of a media in Zhejiang. Since then, we have started a weekly correspondence.

htmlOne day in June, I unexpectedly received a call from him. This was the first time I heard his voice, which was Mandarin with some tongue-rolling sounds. He said, "A show I made just won a grand prize. I want you to be the first to share this happiness." I smiled and congratulated him, and suddenly felt an inexplicable sense of intimacy with this strange man who was far away from thousands of mountains and rivers.

In early November 1999, I was sent by my leader to Yantai on a business trip. At noon the day before departure, Su Ling called my home and said, "I called your editorial department in the morning, and your colleague said you are on a business trip tomorrow." I asked, "Are you okay?" He said in a gentle tone, "Nothing special is just to ask if you have brought thick clothes. It's already very cold there." As I listened, I was so moved that I forgot to say thank you.

Zhang Yang went home in the afternoon. I had packed my luggage, but he ate and slept like usual. The next morning, I handed me some money before going to work and said, "You can call to the station today. Also, your suitcase is a bit old. I buy one if I see the good ones there."

I took his money and held it in my hand, and said quietly: "Just take out half of the patient you care about and care about me." "He said, "I'm having a child's temper again. Don't I care about you?" "As he said that, he hurriedly left.

My phone rang again on the train, it was Su Ling. He said, "I understand the loneliness of a person on the journey, so I will call you to greet you. "From the future, he called my phone every day, and this considerate made me involuntarily make a strong comparison between him and Zhang Yang in my heart.

Finally one night, in a lonely hotel, I couldn't help but call his phone and opened my heart to him about my dissatisfaction with my marriage and my loneliness in a foreign land. I found that I had unconsciously developed trust and attachment to him.

Wait for me to get out of smoking When the station came back, Su Ling's letter had been placed in my office. A thin light blue letter sign inside was written with seven big words "I wish I could meet before I was married." My heart was pounding, and I hurriedly locked the letter into the drawer. The development of the matter made me feel a little helpless. I secretly convinced myself to cut off my contact with Su Ling in time when everything was possible.

I went home that day and found an opportunity to say to Zhang Yang, "Let's have a child." "He looked at me and said, "I'm afraid it won't work now. The hospital may be sending me to Shanghai for a year of study soon. "I can't say anything else, but in my heart I feel that he lacks the warmth of Su Ling.

The romantic Shangri-La Gate broke through the bottom line of marriage

I began to deliberately avoid Su Ling. He wrote to me, and I endured it twice and didn't reply, but this persistence was broken by his third thick letter in a week. He told me in detail about the marriage of his marriage with a woman he didn't like because he wanted a radio job and his wife.

He wrote: "From your avoidance of me, you can clearly understand that you are suppressing yourself, and we have similar pain. But on the basis of maintaining the bottom line of marriage, why can’t there be platonic emotions? ”

In March 2000, I was invited to Yunnan to attend a writing meeting. As soon as I checked into the hotel, someone called my phone, which was Su Ling. He said, “I am right at the door of your room and I am here to attend the writing meeting. Do you feel surprised? "My heart beat violently, and hesitated for a moment whether to open the door.

The door opened, and the man standing at the door was tall and handsome, showing his calmness and affection at his thirties. He was more attractive than I thought. And he spoke first and said, "You are as cute as I imagined. "

We have no intention of anything else in the entire pen club. We always look for opportunities to get along alone. We had a very harmonious face-to-face conversation. On the sixth day of the pen club, we organized everyone to visit Zili in Yongsheng County, where there is Golden Dragon Bridge , which is known as the first bridge of the Yangtze River. This ancient iron chain bridge is called "Shangri-La Gate" by Western scholars, which means that you will reach the beautiful Eden when you walk across the bridge. I am standing at the bridge. The cliffs on both sides of my shores are entering the clouds. Below is a turbulent flow. The bridge connected by several thick iron chains is slightly shaking in the wind. I was hesitating, Su Ling approached me and said, "I will help you pass this Shangri-La Gate together. "After saying that, he pulled my hand tightly and took me to step onto the wooden board in the middle of the bridge carefully. Several times I was so scared that I dared to move, but he kept encouraging me and said, "We must go over, there is our Garden of Eden there. "

I followed him across the bridge in a daze. I realized that I was leaning in his arms and his hand was also holding my waist. I subconsciously retreated, and he smiled and said, "Look, I can give you strength and support." ”

That night, he came to the guest room where I was the only one. I thought he was having a heart-to-heart talk like he did the previous few days, but after saying a few words, he gently brushed my face with his hand. I avoided it a little and said, "Don't, you said you should keep the bottom line of marriage. ”He used it more gentle.A more convincing voice said to me: "But we love each other sincerely. Let's indulge in the true love! Do you understand for the true love?"

I was moved by his words again...

That night, after he left my room, I couldn't sleep: my face kept flashing in front of me.

The next morning, I walked alone to the small garden of the hotel and wandered for a long time. Su Ling also came to me at some point. He said freely and easily, "I guess you must be here, so I'm here." As he said that, he walked closer and hugged me, his hug was warm and full of tenderness. I suddenly saw a beige sweater he was wearing. The fine needlework was clearly hand-knitted.

I asked, "Is the sweater made up by your wife?" He nodded in confusion. My heart aches and I pushed him away with the trend. He said, "Do you care about this sweater?" I looked at him and said, "I care about you being intimate with your lover in a sweater knitted by your wife. Since we are sincere, what's that?" He stood opposite him, with a look of embarrassment on his face.

After returning from Yunnan, I felt more and more that my behavior during the Pen Club was not considered. I called Su Ling and told him that I regretted it. He paused for a moment and asked, "What do you think?" I said, "Let's show off to the family to divorce." Su Ling's tone immediately became panicked: "No, no, this is too hasty." I was a little surprised by his reaction, so I asked, "Don't you want to?" He stammered and said, "I just hope I can think carefully."

After a day, he sent me a express delivery, full of sincere feelings for me. But at the end, he emphasized that he had to consider his 5-year-old son, and he also said that his wife, who was a middle school teacher, was diagnosed with breast cancer, and he could not file for divorce under such circumstances. My heart was cold, and I also had some grudges towards him.

"May Day" Festival is coming soon, and Zhang Yang returned home from Shanghai to rest happily. He seemed to have become much happier than before, and even bought me beautiful clothes specially. Seeing that I was surprised, he explained half jokingly and half seriously: "There is a Shanghai doctor in the further education class who is very good at me. My wife is a literary and artistic person. They criticized me for my lack of understanding and concern for you. Think about it, what they said makes sense. I was probably a little neglected in the past, but now I have to change it. I have also learned some tricks to make my wife happy."

I took the clothes he bought, and suddenly turned around and ran into the bedroom crying. Zhang Yang thought I was moved, so he walked into the house and put his arms around my waist. I broke free in panic.

He looked at me for no reason. I cried to him, "How great you should learn to make me happy earlier!" His face slowly became gloomy, and he tentatively said in disbelief: "Are you very lonely when I was in Shanghai?" I looked at my husband who was a normal-looking and silent-like person, and was ashamed to want to get downstairs. Even though he was so unto my heart, I had no reason to betray my honesty about marriage.

So, I fell to his knees and told him everything. His face turned from blue gray to white. When I finished speaking, he reached out and pulled me up, then slapped me hard and said, "If you really love him, you should straighten your back and tell me not to do this." After that, he pushed me away and walked out of the house without looking back. I listened blankly to the sound of the door closing.

The pain and desire after the "Love Game"

The romance of leaving home made my acquaintances and friends around me start to speculate, and I gradually felt the pressure of public opinion. During this period, I called Su Ling to write a letter, hoping to get support and comfort from him. But he obviously retreated. At first, he used the reasons of work stress and the child being sick, and later he even changed his cell phone number to reduce contact with me.

In mid-July, after several telephone talks with him, I finally took leave to go to Zhejiang after no results. He was very surprised when he received a call from me directly into the unit. He rushed to the hotel where I stayed at noon and asked nervously as soon as he entered the door: "What are you doing here? A little bit of the wind in our small city will spread very quickly."I looked at him dissatisfiedly and said, "If I could withstand the pressure alone, I wouldn't bother you." "

Seeing that I was unhappy, he softened his tone. I also relaxed and said, "I love you until now. The reason why I confess everything to my husband is because I think it is not fair to everyone if it is hidden. There is nothing wrong with us in love. "Unexpectedly, he suddenly stood up and said, "But what is wrong is your childishness and impulse. "I defended: "I didn't." ”

He was annoyed: “No! You broke the rules of the game, and your inexplicable guilt came inappropriately, so you couldn't control it now. "

I was stunned. This man who kept saying that he really loved me actually talked about the "rules of the game" with me! It took me a long time to come back to my senses and ask him: "What rules of the game? Is it the rule to be a lover? "He glanced at me and said, "You must know that no matter how innocent our love is, it is conditional from the beginning. "My heart is now sinking to the bottom. It turns out that all of this is just a "love game" by his "director", but I recognized his sweet "romantic love" like a fool.

I stared at his face with anger and asked, "Actually, you are just trying to get into the so-called romantic encounter, right? "He didn't answer, but wanted to pat my shoulder calmly. I dodged and whispered to him, "You go." "

The next afternoon, I found Su Ling's home and handed the stack of love letters that Su Ling wrote to me to his wife in person. To my surprise, the thin woman was not surprised or angry. She just casually looked through the letters and threw them aside and said, "He has re-enacted the old drama again. "

I was surprised. She told me in a plain tone that this was not the first time. She said, "Every time he would fervently give the other party a vow, and then return to me to swear to change his past. Other women think he is a treasure, but I have long been used to it. "I asked, "He said you were sick was actually a lie, right? "

She smiled bitterly: "Who did he tell the truth to? When I was chasing me in college, I was desperate, but after getting married, I was still flirting with flowers. If I picked a good lover a month ago, I might divorce me, but last month my uncle had a Canadian inheritance for me to inherit. In the past, I had to consider face and children, but this time I wanted to be completely relieved. "

I listened to her blankly, and it turned out that the revenge against him in the original plan became both boring and boring at this time. When I turned around and wanted to leave, the woman said again: "How could you trust him so easily? In the past, some ignorant girls were fascinated by him, but you..." I ran out of the house in shame.

At the entrance of the alley, I met Su Ling who was riding a bicycle home. When he saw me, his face immediately became frightened. I wanted to wait for him to approach and sarcastically, but he quickly looked around, and then rode his bicycle to bypass me and slipped away. It was a miserable Su Ling that I had never seen before. I almost laughed bitterly.

When I got home, I got seriously ill. After recovering from the illness, I quit my job and left the newspaper. I lived for almost the whole summer.

In late September, Zhang Yang finished his further studies, but he did not go home but stayed in the single dormitory of the hospital for a week. On the weekend, he called me to have an in-person conversation with a tea shop. When I got there, he saw me and said, "You are much haggard," I was silent for a while and said, "You are not looking for me to say this, right? "He nodded and said, "I think it's time for us to discuss divorce." "

" I'm really sorry for you. "I looked at his equally haggard face and said, obviously he has suffered a lot these days. But he pushed a draft divorce agreement in front of me: "Look at what else to negotiate, consider you first in the material and financial requirements of the family. "I felt ashamed in front of him again. I had been a couple with him for several years. I never seemed to have carefully considered the character under the silent appearance.

We sat speechlessly for a while, and Zhang Yang stood up.At that moment, I suddenly called him with extravagant hope: "Zhang Yang, can I beg you to give me a chance?" He looked at me and whispered: "You know, my professional relationship is life and death, so I have unconsciously brought rigor into our lives. When I realized that doing so neglected your feelings, I was determined to change myself. I originally wanted to tell you what I said just now when I went home on May Day, but I didn't expect you to give me such a blow."

I said painfully: "I'm sorry, Zhang Yang, let's start over." He shook his head slowly but firmly and said: "I know you will learn from your mistakes, but I am afraid of our marriage that we started over again." My tears flowed down instantly, and it seemed that there would be no hope of relief.

I divorced Zhang Yang as fast as possible. With the help of a friend, I decided to go to Beijing to be a cultural worker. What surprised me was that Su Ling actually sent me a express letter. He expressed his apology to me in extremely sincere words, and finally he begged me to reconcile with him.

I put down the letter and directly opened the new mobile phone number he wrote at the end of the letter. I asked him coldly: "Did your wife who went to Canada decide to dump you?" After that, I threw down the phone and burst into tears in the empty big house...