The most interesting and practical psychology of working every day
In some parts of my country, there is such a kind of qualities when making beds on the wedding day. Those who make beds must not only have a happy marriage, but also have both children. Because in China, children are all good wishes for newlyweds.
However, a female netizen wrote down her experience on the Internet. She believes that the so-called "both" of both children is the other people, but the one who suffers is the daughter himself. Only those who have experienced it can understand this sadness. What has this netizen experienced? Why did she say that?
It turns out that the netizen was born in a happy family of four. She is the youngest in the family and has an older brother on it. A while ago, she had a quarrel with her husband and was in a bad mood, so she wanted to go back to her parents' home to stay for a few days.
As a result, the mother did not comfort her as soon as possible after knowing it, but instead told her to come back not to forget to buy something for her brother, sister-in-law and nephew.
What my mother said made netizens feel very disappointed. She said that can understand her mother's thoughts, and she usually buys a lot of things to go back to her mother's house during the Chinese New Year and the holidays.
But now she has to go back to her parents' home to live because she is in a bad mood. Not only does her mother not comfort her, she also emphasizes these things. She feels very sad: Why do you have to buy something to go back to her parents' home? My mother's family is also where she grew up.
In China, many women have had similar experiences, and even many women's experiences are even more sad than this netizen's.
zhenai.com once conducted a survey on the phenomenon of favoring boys over girls in various regions of my country. The survey results showed that 16.7% of people believe that Mr. Yang’s phenomenon of favoring boys over girls appeared in their families, and 23.9% of people refused to answer this question in . Then, the situation of these 23.9% is probably not very optimistic, and the possibility of favoring boys over girls is very high.
Although the status of Chinese women has improved in recent years, the social distance between Men and women is still very far away from The goal of equality between men and women. The idea of favoring boys over girls still exists in our country, and some places are still very serious, especially in rural areas of our country.
So, why do many people still want to have both children? Why do these people still want to have daughters after giving birth to sons?
Family giving birth to a daughter can basically be divided into two situations. The first is to be forced to have a daughter, and the second is to take the initiative to have a daughter.
In my country, men are more persistent in the traditional concept of fertility. Nearly 20% of men believe that having children is to pass on the family line or raise children to prevent old age, but only 12% of women adhere to the same concept.
For families who are forced to have daughters, the idea of favoring boys over girls is more serious. In such a family, parents believe that the son is the heir to family property, and only the son can continue the so-called incense. So many families have children one after another in order to have a son.
Some families even have to have another child after giving birth to five or six girls just to have a son.
Women who grow up in such families are usually more miserable in their fate. In the eyes of parents, they are "money-losing goods" and will be other people's daughter-in-law in the future, so the family's resources will not fall on these girls. This kind of thing happens not only in rural families, but also in cities.
, which became popular because of " Where to Go, Dad, ", once cried on the show that she also had a younger brother, and she came out to participate in the show to earn money for her younger brother's milk powder.
You should know that Alare was less than 10 years old at that time. Such a young child could say such words, which was inseparable from his parents' influence. Is it "double-complete" or "one-complete" for children like
? All are parents and all are sons, but what is left to these girls is always sadness and the shadow of childhood that cannot be erased in a lifetime.
The second situation is the kind of family that mainly chooses girls. Although parents in this family do not value boys over girls as much as the first type of parents, parents in the second type of families do not really regard their daughters as their family members in essence. They generally believe that the water splashed by the married daughters.
These parents do not really like girls in their hearts, but like the sense of security or happiness brought to them by "both children". In addition, some parents value their daughter's care and reliability more.
As the saying goes, don’t put eggs in a basket. In fact, for some parents, having children is also an investment.
Psychologists from three universities in the UK have found through research that women are more careful and their mind-reading abilities are stronger than men.
Chinese people often say that daughters are their parents' little cotton-padded jackets, and most of them are more considerate and caring about their parents. So many parents give birth to daughters just to experience the feeling of having a "little cotton-padded jacket".
Just as the netizens told at the beginning of the article, perhaps her mother would only be happy when netizens bought various gifts and went home. What she enjoyed was this sense of vanity, not really treating her daughter as her own person.
In fact, it seems like a very good wish. But there may also be many sad truths hidden behind this, which reflects the most secretive and unwilling to admit human nature deep in people's hearts.
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Author | Tommyda
Edit | Meicai buckle
First psychological main writer group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
Reference: Jean Piaget Biographie. (2020, January 29).
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