-01
Can you understand other people's "subtext"
As mentioned above, under normal circumstances, if someone temporarily invites you to dinner and pretends to invite you to participate in something together, will you agree?
absolutely cannot agree.
No matter how enthusiastic the other party is, don’t accept it. The temporary game composed of
is often not sincere; the reason why the other party invites you is just to want you to "make up the number of people". What other subtexts are similar to
?
Scene 1:
You visit a relative or friend’s house, but the other party has not prepared the meal at all, and it has not proposed to cook or order the meal outside when the meal is approaching.
At this time, he asked you tentatively: "Are you hungry? What do you want to eat?"
Don't answer what he wants to eat, just find an excuse to end up as a guest. Leaving is the best choice.
If you want to eat XX, the other party will just be stunned and think to himself: "This person is too good at climbing up the pole."
Scene 2:
You are pursuing the girl you like.
One day, the girl worked overtime until very late, and she told you, "Can you come to pick me up? I'm a little scared."
You accept it happily.
sent her downstairs to the rental house. The girl flipped through the bag and said, "Sorry, I forgot to bring the key, and the key was locked at home by me."
You said, "Then do you call your roommate to borrow the key?"
The girl said, "The roommate is not back." What is the wrong operation of
?
The boy said, "Then I will call you a lock-opening company" or "Then you can stay at a female colleague's house for one night."
You must understand that the subtext of girls is:
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"It's too late, I don't plan to go home, why don't I go to your side."
People with low emotional intelligence often cannot get around this bend and cannot open their thinking.
And people with high emotional intelligence can figure out what the other person means at the first time.
-02
Know how to use the "slutty effect" and learn to ridicule yourself
Do you know?
Research shows that the most popular people are often not the flawless first place in the group, but the second place with slightly flawed second place.
There is a concept in psychology called "the ugly effect".
A company recruitment, and HR interviewed 4 interviewers.
first place: performance is very perfect, whether it is business ability, conversation, or behavior, they are all full marks.
second place: business ability and conversation temperament are not much different from that of the first place, but because of a little nervousness, I accidentally knocked over the water cup.
third place: it is more moderate in all aspects, but has a better attitude.
fourth place: average ability, high vision and low skills. Which of the four interviewers,
, do you guess which one has the highest evaluation?
is not the first, but the second interviewer who "makes a little ugly".
The effect of making a fool tells us:
Learn to show weakness and make you look ugly appropriately will make you more down-to-earth; and those who are perfect, without flaws and shortcomings will give people a "sense of alienation".
People with high emotional intelligence will have this kind of behavior.
In many occasions, they will use "self-mockery" and humor to resolve embarrassment and silence between each other. Why is the talk show so popular?
is like because the guests can throw out one burden after another, and every meme can be expressed in a self-deprecating way.
In most cases, self-deprecating methods can quickly narrow the distance between you and the other party and reduce others' defense against you.
And when the opposite sex gets along, learning to laugh at yourself can make you more attractive.
-03
won't cause "meaningless trouble" for others
I have a friend, which is simply a typical negative textbook.
No matter what happens, he will come to ask me what to do.
The car broke down, so I asked me what to do;
can't cook, so I asked me how to cook;
can take a taxi by myself, but always ask me to drive to pick him up.
Trouble me in big and small matters.
This troubles me: "I am not your nanny or your family. We are just ordinary friends. Why should I waste my time on you?"
It is a matter of knowing the answer on Baidu, but I ask questions.
It is a search online and someone will teach you all the dishes you want to cook, but I want to trouble others;
It is a place where you can get a taxi of more than ten yuan, but I just want someone to drive to pick you up. People like
have low emotional intelligence and no sense of proportion.
People with real emotional intelligence understand one truth:
"Human favors should be used at critical moments, because the more you use, the less you use."
For example:
Some people like to send long voice messages when chatting on WeChat, but they have not considered the other person's feelings;
Things that can be expressed clearly in dozens of words, but they have to waste the other person's time.
things that can be solved by yourself must trouble others.
lacks a sense of proportion and no sense of boundaries, which is the "disaster" of social relationships.
The reason why people with high emotional intelligence are popular is because they understand: "When you get along with others, you will do something and not do something."
Some things can bother others, and you can also gain favor from others;
Some things can only be done by yourself, and you cannot use favors easily.
-04
can restrain one's emotions and not vent it on others at will
Daniel Gorman said this:
"The so-called emotional intelligence is a person's ability to manage emotions."
Real people with high emotional intelligence know how to restrain their emotions and control their emotions.
Don’t lose your temper at will, and you won’t transfer your negative emotions to others at will.
Many times, the consequences of emotional out-of-control will make you unable to bear.
For example:
Some people will "drive a fighting car" when they are angry, but in the end they will cause a big disaster;
Some people are used to transferring negative emotions to others;
Some people are wronged outside and expose their anger on their lovers and children when they return home.
Little do they know that when they vent their emotions, they relax themselves, but hurt others.
Real high emotional intelligence is not what to do, but what not to do.
Today’s topic:
What other manifestations do people with high emotional intelligence?
(Article pictures are from the Internet)
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