Hello everyone, I am Andy.
William James said: "The greatest discovery of our generation is that people can change their lives by changing their thoughts and attitudes."
I want to talk to you today. In the private message I received recently, there is a topic like "Why are people with glass hearts oversensitive?"
In fact, glass hearts are often oversensitive in social interaction, which can be called "social phobia".
In social networking, they will guess the other person’s thoughts and thoughts, talk to others, and if the other person says a heavy word, they will think randomly. If others slow to reply to their messages, they will guess that the other party does not like them and hates them.
If the boss is criticized at work, they will be lost all day. If they receive praise from their boss, they may be very excited all day.
People with glass hearts live a more tiring life, and their hearts are more fragile than others, and they are unable to withstand blows and setbacks.
American sociologist Cooley proposed the "I in the Mirror" theory in " Human Nature and Social Order ".
He believes that others' evaluation and attitude towards themselves constitute personal self-awareness. Cooley divided the elements of self-formation into three aspects, namely: individuals’ judgments on how others understand their own imaginations, how individuals evaluate their own imaginations, and individuals’ understanding and evaluation of others.
We can see from this theory that people who are overly sensitive in interpersonal communication have their problems with self-cognitive panic. At this time, they need some positive comments to enable them to have a positive self-awareness.
Negative information has a greater impact on people with glass hearts and oversensitive than positive information. Many people ignore others' recognition and appreciation of them, and instead worry about once or twice of mistakes or occasional accusations from others.
There are many people who cannot correctly understand themselves. When they see their own excellence, they only focus on their own shortcomings. As a result, they become more and more sensitive and the more likely they are to have negative emotions.
Writer Jiang Fangzhou once said: "What people who can truly appreciate you always appreciate your proud look, not your pretending to be humble and likable."
gives you some suggestions to those who have a glass heart, and you should have a benign interaction in social interaction.
1. Transform from following others to following oneself.
People who are overly sensitive are more inferior and do not have enough confidence in doing anything. The main reason is that you are not confident enough in yourself and care too much about other people's opinions and evaluations.
So, learn to change from focusing on others to focusing on yourself. Turn the focus to yourself and pay more attention to your emotions. Perhaps many things will become different.
2. From internal attribution to external attribution.
In interpersonal communication, sometimes we have some fixed thinking formats. What it means is that when something goes wrong or when you have different opinions from others, we usually push all the problems on ourselves according to the usual thinking format.
For example, if someone else says something that hurts us, our first reaction is that others have prejudice against themselves. Did I do something that makes the other person unhappy?
Every time there is a problem, the first thing we think of is that we have problems. In this way for a long time, we will become less confident and more sensitive.
Sometimes we think from a different perspective, maybe the other party has suffered some blow, which has caused them to become angry and excited, and thus say some hurtful words to the people around them.
This is the benefit of from internal attribution to external attribution. It allows us to learn to focus on the problem itself, which will reduce many negative thoughts. Be able to maintain rationality to see what has happened.
3. From denying yourself to accepting yourself.
Most people often deny themselves, cannot see their good side, and focus on their shortcomings and deficiencies. Few people can face their truest selves, their entire selves.
Everyone is unique. Acknowledge their strengths, face their shortcomings, accept them calmly, learn to live with their imperfect self, and they will become better and better.
likes a sentence very much:
Miguel de Cervantes said: "However you think, you will become what kind of person you want. Everyone is their own masterpiece."
This article is reprinted from [WeChat public account: Xie Andy] . If you need to reprint, please contact the original author.
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