One advice to all of you girls is that I hope you must be a realistic and sober woman. Especially when choosing a spouse, you must downplay the elements of love and use reality to hedge against reality. Never be that silly and sweet little girl, otherwise you will suffer a loss in the future.
Of course, you will definitely think that what I said is not nice, but there is no way. What is nice is not the truth, so what I want to say next may be cruel and realistic, but it must be useful to you!
First of all, marriage is the only option you cannot choose the wrong one in your life.
especially for girls, choosing who to live with, getting married and having children is almost the most important decision in your life. Whether you have love or not or not is not important. The first thing you need to ensure is whether your basic life can be guaranteed.
I said that marriage is a reorganization of two family resources, from the elderly to the children. If you can’t even take good care of yourself in this marriage, then nothing unexpected happens, your life will be a mess.
really, 90% of the things in the world can be solved with money, and the remaining 10% can be relieved with money. So from this perspective, finding a partner with stronger economic strength and richer social resources is the correct way to maximize the benefits of marriage.
Second, marriage cannot change anyone.
Marriage can only affect the living habits, expressions, tastes and preferences of two people. As for the sense of responsibility, motivation, character, and personality, these core things have long been shaped into shape in the original family.
Those who pass before marriage will continue to pass after marriage. Those who fail before marriage should not rely on their hopes after marriage. Don’t think that this is not possible. You can change the next one. When you are in love, you may get off the bus halfway, but after getting married and getting a certificate, all your actions that you want to get off will be a fatal test for two people and two families.
Third, in love, don’t have the mentality of “same as one”.
When you fall in love, you should talk seriously. Don’t be thinking about “must marry him”. If you can get along, get along well. If you can’t get along, get along well.
So before marriage, don’t be afraid to test the other person, nor to test the bottom line. I suggest that you try to put any test before marriage and treat love as a test shoe. Those who close their eyes may not necessarily fit their feet, and those who fit their feet may not be easy to walk, right?
The ultimate goal of your relationship is to try the most comfortable shoes, and no one can try these shoes for you, only you know whether they are comfortable or not. So when you are in love, you should seriously examine whether the other party can coexist with you. Don’t be too concerned about being moved by yourself. “I never thought about breaking up when I was in this relationship.”
Fourth, when choosing a person to get married, you can listen to your parents’ feelings
Her countless suggestions in life, we can all surpass our parents. But in marriage, you must listen to your parents’ advice and judgment on this man.
Never think of yourself very awesome. Many facts have proved that most of the people who don’t listen to their parents for the sake of love will regret it later.
Fifth, try not to get married too early
especially if you don’t have an independent personality, I really don’t recommend that you touch marriage. Really, marriage is an adult's business, not a game of playing house for children. If you lack financial ability and your mind is not mature, then don’t learn to get married by adults.
because it is not just a commitment, but also a responsibility. If you always need to rely on the other person in a certain field or part of your life, this kind of appeal is normal, but it is not conducive to your objective choice. It is easy for men to generalize from a side point. You only focus on the part you are missing, and ignore the information that must be considered in the marriage relationship.
The sixth, marriage is changing one's fate
may be better or worse. It is said that men are afraid of entering the wrong career, and women are afraid of marrying the wrong man. Don’t wait until after giving birth to a child before regretting not choosing a good husband or in-laws’ family.
Remember, don’t just want the other person to treat you well. Poor couples are sad. The reality of marriage is that you will find that people who seek money often live better than those who don’t want anything.
So remember, don’t be emotional when getting married. Women marry to give birth to their children in a good original family. You must be “vanity” appropriately and get to know your in-laws seriously, not just for the so-called love. Being noble and stupid, do you understand?
Seventh, most men do not need a good wife and mother, but a partner
The former has a high threshold, and the man needs to be almost financially free, rich second generation, or extremely successful, so that he needs to take care of housework and logistics full-time.
The reality is: what most men need is partners, that is, people who empower each other, and you must be able to take on the battlefield at any time. So don't live in dreams and have no ability to resist risks. A family always requires two people to bear it, not just men.
No. 8, want less conflicts in marriage, communication is very important
to put it bluntly, it is to find teammates and peers. Don’t expect his love for you to last a lifetime. This is impossible. To put it bluntly, love is dopamine. This thing has years and will eventually become dull.
90% of men will not love only one woman for the rest of their lives. If you want to maintain a marriage for a long time, it depends on whether you can keep the same frequency in your heart and communicate smoothly. Let me say that, there are not many people who can quarrel together, but you have to find one.
ninth, don’t look for cold violence people
This is very important. As long as the other party has a tendency to cold violence, I suggest you break up directly. Because your ultimate goal in dating is to get married. If he likes to be cold and violent to you now, then nothing unexpected happens. He will treat you like this after marriage.
Because cold violence is psychologically difficult to eradicate, and it will lead to many problems. So if you don’t want to get married in the future and face a selfish and escaping person all day long, then I suggest you filter it out from the beginning.
The last tenth chapter, you must retain the courage and ability to leave at any time
You must know that all interpersonal relationships are progressive step by step. People who are now together may not be able to get along after being together for a long time. To put it bluntly, it is a process of constantly discovering and resolving contradictions. It is because the contradiction cannot be resolved, so people must be resolved.
So I always think that the most valuable ability of women in relationships is not "seeing scum at first glance", but the ability to retain the courage and ability to leave at any time.
It is very good for someone to love you, but no one loves you, you must also make sure that you will not be in a bad life, do you know? If you place all your hopes on others, this is actually a very dangerous thing. Because one person can give it to you, it will be easy for him to take it back.
so do you understand?
Marriage is the most complex and risky thing in the world, especially for you women, you must maintain a high degree of rationality.
Think more about what you can get from this relationship, is it a real benefit? Is it the inner fulfillment and happiness? Or is his genes excellent and suitable for passing on to the next generation?
If there is nothing, then just fall in love. When it’s almost done, leave because it’s easy for you to get in, but it’s difficult for you to get out. Of course, if you aim to talk about marriage, you must meet enough people and people from different circles, so that it will help you decide on marriage.
do you understand?
Psychological test: Test the words your ex wants to say to you most
1. Do you quarrel over trivial matters when you are together?
Yes, I often feel very tired —2
rarely argues over trivial matters —2
Occasionally, but I can make up soon —3
2. Do you think you are a person who likes to reflect on yourself and is willing to correct your mistakes?
is —3
is not —4
3. Will TA take the initiative to tell you about your troubles?
often says - 5
doesn't say much - 4
4. Will you tell your parents about the process of your love?
, and often complain to my parents. —6
, occasionally, they will talk about it when they ask. —5
, hardly say it, there is nothing to say —5
, there is nothing to say —5
5. How much energy are you willing to spend to get what you want?
Everything goes with the flow, it’s mine after all, it’s mine —7
Work hard, maybe you can succeed —6
Try your best, I have to get everything I want —B
6. Is it because a third party appeared?
Yes—A
No—7
7. Has the other party contacted you actively after breaking up?
Yes—D
No—Ch
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-