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[Author] Xuan Yidu
[No. 140 Keywords] Ring the alarm bell
Fan Shengmei The role of this character has always been very controversial.
She knows a lot of the key points of interpersonal relationships and likes to convey the view of love to other sisters as an older sister.
Then her thinking mature style of dealing with things and "picking the top" skills, why can't she keep Wang Baichuan an ordinary little boss?
Today’s emotional information, let’s talk about it together with the TV series “ Ode to Joy ”.
01.
The continuation of love requires continuous input of new value.
All women must understand one truth:
You are beautiful, there are always people who are more beautiful than you. You can never find the answer on this question.
Fan Shengmei is a standard beauty, and she is of course shining brightly in her student days.
But as you grow older and your knowledge, For finding a partner, people will not only limit their attention to what clothes you wear today and what popular colors you apply for lipstick.
On the contrary, people will observe your conversation expression, character cultivation and emotional intelligence more directly.
It is obvious that Fan Shengmei made a fatal mistake:
She believes that men, especially high-quality men, are looking for partners, and are comparing women's beauty and aura.
But this is just one of the small factors. and they are more about whether they can see the value in this woman.
For example, whether this woman matches her own values, can it bring spiritual comfort and breakthroughs to men, can it better educate the next generation, inherit family traditions, etc.
You should know that the so-called high-quality men are generally independent in their economy. They do not need Fan Shengmei's beauty to appreciate, because they will never lack such women around them.
All love, people first find what they need in their subconscious mind, so that they can develop a vague love and be moved by it. The process of calming the mind is that 6 needs to continuously input .
Wang Baichuan is an adult. Through interaction, he will also understand that most of his love for Fan Shengmei comes from the goddess aura and obsession with youth.
In other words, his initial choice to date Fan Shengmei was due to the regrets he had in his school days, and there were very few other values that could be seen from her.
Therefore, due to Fan Shengmei's stagnation, it is difficult for Wang Baichuan to stick to it.
02.
For men, love and marriage are two different things.
You will find that some women who are often pursued by men find it difficult to find a marriage partner. This is because men have different demands on the two stages of love and marriage.
As a love stage, men can pursue their own heart-warming goals. Once it involves marriage, they will often clearly analyze the pros and cons and make a detailed trade-off.
Fan Shengmei's advantages are:
Beautiful, stable work, and being a goddess when Wang Baichuan was young.
The disadvantage is that
's original family is in chaos and a higher heart.
Women may be influenced by soap operas and have a dream of advancing and retreating with their husbands, but men are usually very realistic.
No matter how good Fan Shengmei's own conditions are, I'm afraid there are very few men and their families who can convince themselves not to care about her "Brother-supporting Demon" original family. What's more, Wang Baichuan has experienced some things with Fan Shengmei, and has experienced the unreasonableness and helplessness of this family. His heart also went from the initial confidence to the self-doubt.
After all, the relationship between the two was still dragged down by Fan Shengmei's family. In Wang Baichuan's perception, Fan Shengmei is no longer the choice of her marriage partner.
But if you think about it carefully, Fan Shengmei actually has the potential to turn the tables against the wind.
In other words, how can a woman make herself the marriage choice of the man she likes?
just find two points: what he needs and what he wants to give up.
Take Wang Baichuan as an example. What he needs is an ordinary woman who lives an ordinary life with him, which coincides with his philosophy with his family. Living a stable life is much more important than pursuing a person in the phantom.
Therefore, he must eliminate the adverse effects that Fan Shengmei's family may have on himself and his parents.
Therefore, what Fan Shengmei should do is not to just let him help him digest it, or bear the harm caused to him by the family, which will only scare the man away.
You can and must let him know the truth, but at the same time, you must also show him the ability to handle family trivial matters well. You will not let him and his family take risks, nor will you let your unclear mother and brother become obstacles to life.
In short, Fan Shengmei must clearly prove to Wang Baichuan that she will not fall into this quagmire and will regard their lives as the focus of her future life.
Wang Baichuan could not see Fan Shengmei's determination, so he naturally would not go against his inner voice, and in the end he could only part ways.
03.
Sincerity is always a must-have trick, but unfortunately Wang Baichuan is just her choice in helplessness.
Does Fan Shengmei really love Wang Baichuan?
may have, but it is definitely not all.
If Fan Shengmei's family had not experienced such a big change, if Wang Baichuan had not given Fan Shengmei a little hope in the dark, if Fan Shengmei had someone with more solid and better conditions willing to accept everything about her, she probably wouldn't have looked at Wang Baichuan more. Wang Baichuan is knowingly k.
There is a plot in it, which I was particularly impressed by.
Wang Baichuan and Fan Shengmei went to buy a house. They originally agreed to write the names of the two people, but Wang Baichuan finally listened to his mother's words and was afraid. In public, he told the agent to write only his name first. Fan Shengmei was so angry that she walked out and stopped listening to Wang Baichuan's explanation.
Wang Baichuan was wrong. He could discuss with Fan Shengmei in advance and write his own name on the house book first.
But the reason why he didn't do this was probably because he was struggling, because he understood that once he said such words, Fan Shengmei would turn against him. He believes that Fan Shengmei loves this house better than loves him.
On the other hand, if Fan Shengmei really had a deep commitment to this relationship, she might not have considered this house. Although this house is of great significance to Fan Shengmei, it is her home in Shanghai and a happy place she dreams of. But no matter how great the significance of is, it cannot be more than your own love.
Both of them have their own little thoughts and cannot be honest with each other, let alone trust and dependence between husband and wife. Feelings like
have long been full of holes, and it is only a matter of time before they can be separated.
Topic today:
Do not add Fan Shengmei’s name to the house book, do you think Wang Baichuan did the right thing?
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[Author's introduction]:
Xuan Yidu, a warm freelance writer.
A sincere person on the road to growth and a little helper in emotions.
Every visitor can go back with a little "value" from here.
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