text/can't remember the normal distribution of Qiangse
Someone asked online that their girlfriend always feels insecure. What can bring people a sense of security?
I think, I am a bit cheesy, I think money can bring me the most sense of security, so I think spending money is more effective.
Of course, there are skills to spend money, it is best to spend big money and according to the other party's personality preferences.
If the other party likes cash, then use cash to smash it.
If the other party prefers luxury goods, then it will be a luxury goods.
Because the most core sense of security is given by oneself, not by others, and no one else can give it.
and some people threw it into their hands and said proudly that this is for you, no matter what, I won't want it back. Then it becomes your own, which can bring you a sense of security.
But be careful, money can only bring some sense of security, not all.
The sense of security is more that no matter how the outside world changes, I can deal with it calmly. I have the ability to deal with uncertainty and the ability to accept the worst results. This response includes psychological response and behavioral response.
For example, we often say that a person has a strong job, not to work in the same place all his life, but to work anywhere all his life. The underlying logic behind this is that this person has enough abilities.
This question is about love, so I will take romantic relationships as an example.
For example, Xiao A and Zhang San are in love, but Xiao A lacks sense of security. What should she do?
First of all, it is psychologically important to know that love is risky. Even if is beautiful, 's relationship may be quarrels and break up and become enemies.
Xiao A should realize that love is risky. You may even quarrel because of disagreement of values and even what you want to have today. The other party will change his mind and may also fall in love with others.
means that love has uncertainty. In fact, everything in the world has uncertainty, and the only certainty is uncertainty.
After all, the emergence of humans is probably because 65 million years ago, an asteroid hit the earth, directly leading to the extinction of dinosaurs and the prosperity of mammals.
You see that humans appear by chance, and you can also expect other things to be eternal. It's better to wake up.
Therefore, accepting the uncertainty of love, accepting everyone, accepting the external environment, and accepting each other's social relationships may also affect whether the love can succeed.
In short, love with your heart, but if it doesn’t succeed, then it won’t succeed.
If a relationship fails to succeed, it does not mean that the relationship will not succeed in the future, nor does it mean that I am not good.
accepts uncertainty so that you will not worry about gains and losses.
Second, after talking about it, accepting love psychologically itself is uncertain, and then talking about cultivating one's ability to love in behavior.
The scope of behavior is relatively wide. I think skills are also included in the behavior, which is what I can do, or what unique value I can provide to others so that others are willing to pay for me.
payment also includes many forms, which may be real money, material resources, connection resources, or emotions. In other words, you must have enough value to make others willing to exchange with you. Your value is related to ability, and ability cannot be deprived of by others.
Let’s continue to take love as an example.
Whether a relationship with someone can last long is not something we can decide alone.
, at least two people, say fashionable words, have to go to each other.
Falling is to be a good person and meet another good person. So it’s not just about being a good person yourself.
If a person's mind is mature enough, has the ability to love others, and has the ability to love himself, then the failure of love can only mean that each other is inappropriate, and it cannot mean that your ability to love is gone.
For example, the arrogant former first lady of the United States, some people say that you are lucky to marry the president. As a result, she said, whoever I marry is the president.
Look at this domineering. Although this story has its own interpretation, it has to be said that some people have enough ability to live their own lives, and others even have spouses to add icing on the cake.
What matters is your own ability, not the strength of your spouse.
Of course, it is best to have a even strength, and you must also know how to rely on each other.
Generally speaking, gives you a sense of security, not someone else. No matter how expensive it is for others to give it to you again and again, it will have to pay the price and may be taken back. Only yours will not be taken away.
So, in general, people who lack a sense of security lack the ability to deal with uncertainty. And a sense of security is the ability to deal with uncertainty calmly. Generally, when we encounter problems, there are three ways to deal with them, one is to deal with them head-on, one is to escape, find a place to hide, and the other is to lie down and scatter. According to uncertainty, it is normal for life. If life continues, it is necessary to prove to deal with it.
The most important sense of security is given by myself, which is reflected in two aspects:
One is psychological, and the uncertainty about the future is that if the result cannot be as I wish, I can accept it calmly. Instead of worrying about gains and losses, it will affect your current life.
Another thing is behavioral, which means that I have enough ability to make others willing to pay for me. The iron rice bowl is myself, not given by others.
Finally, I returned to this question. The sense of security my girlfriend wants cannot be given by her boyfriend, and no one can give it. She can only get it herself.
Of course, boyfriend can use some behaviors to express his reliability, follow the other person more to make her feel controllable, be able to see the future, etc., which can temporarily satisfy her sense of security.
is written at the end, brothers and sisters, a sense of security, I gave it to you. Don’t find a sense of security in others. You can run around the mountains and mountains, you can fall down by relying on trees, and you can rely on yourself. Of course, there is also a sweet love, so let’s have some tricks. This will be discussed later.
#Marriage and Love Manual# #No. 1 Worry-Thank you #
Author: Can't remember the normal distribution of rose color, a full-time mother who loves reading and studying, is often both Buddha and depressed, and occasionally proactive psychological counselor, the world and I love you. Some of the pictures are from the Internet and the copyright belongs to the original author. If you have any copyright issues, please contact me in time to deal with it. Original works may not be reproduced without authorization.
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