01 Do you want to forgive the cheating man? If you want to forgive, how can you make the other party remember and never commit crime again? After a man cheats, these problems will always be eternal problems. Of course, my opinion on this type of problem is still: you can forgive,

01

Do you want to forgive the cheating man? If you want to forgive, how can you make the other party remember and never commit crime again? After a man cheats, these problems will always be eternal problems.

Of course, my opinion on this type of problem is still: you can forgive, but you cannot let forgiveness become the other party's chance to continue to hurt you.

So, first, you can't forgive easily. You have to let the other person experience the price of cheating. Second, you can no longer indulge the other party in cheating, because betrayal again and again will only put you in eternal disaster.

Why do I say that? Let's start with a very typical case.

After Jia Jia discovered that her husband had cheated, he couldn't let go of his relationship for so many years, couldn't bear to have his relationship for so many years, and couldn't bear to let his children live in a single-parent family.

But her forgiveness was too easy for her husband. Her husband just verbally admitted his mistake and promised not to make it again in the future, so this matter was temporarily over.

But the pain caused by husband betrayal is not so easy to disappear. Although Jia Jia forgave her husband, there was still a thorn in her heart. If her husband cheats, this thorn will remind you of your grievance and indomitableness.

In addition, the two did not discuss the issue of cheating at all, such as why the other party cheated, how to eliminate the problems between the two at this stage, and how to make up for the trauma caused by cheating on both parties.

With just a simple forgiveness, we simply cannot repair and build relationships and trust. Therefore, in the third month of choosing to forgive her husband, Jia Jia was unable to stretch at first. Her emotions kept getting out of control. Sometimes she wanted to quickly get out of the shadow of cheating, and sometimes she kept guessing about her husband's various behaviors.

Amid the constant denial and suspicion of himself, the relationship between the two has long been broken, and the husband seems to have cheated again. This time, my husband's attitude completely changed, without any guilt, and became more and more unscrupulous.

But Jia Jia is always trapped in the shadow of cheating. She was unwilling to admit the fact that the marriage failed, nor was she willing to waste her efforts for so many years. So she struggled in pain and gradually lost herself.

Many people say that a partner cheats, and there is no way to truly forgive

Because the most terrible thing about cheating is not the breakdown of the marriage, but this kind of behavior can completely destroy the most basic trust and self-identity between people.

Even if you forgive the other person, you will find that you still cannot trust the other person. You will stare at his every move, fearing that he will betray you again. He is lying beside you, you can't guarantee whether he is thinking about you or the woman outside.

What's more serious is that you begin to doubt yourself. You will feel worthless and lose your appeal. You no longer believe that you are unique in the other person's mouth. It turns out that you can be replaced.

Because I have no ability to forgive, I cannot leave my marriage. In the absence of helplessness, I can only forgive each other easily in exchange for a short period of peace. But the reality is that many people often underestimate the impact of cheating, and many cheaters won’t be grateful for the opportunities given by their partners and may even become an important means for them to seize you.

First, a woman's easy forgiveness will give men a psychological hint: "What do I do? Even if I cheat and betrayal, my wife can forgive me."

This is a law of psychological hint, especially by influencing others' psychology and behavior through language, behavior, expression and special symbols, so that others can accept the suggester's opinions and opinions, or do things in the way of the suggester.

Positive hints can certainly have a good impact on yourself and the other party, but negative hints can cause many negative situations.

For example, in a husband and wife relationship, the husband gives up participating in family activities because he is lazy and does not want to do housework. If you answer at this time: This is how men are. Since the other party doesn't want to do this and cannot convince the other party, then do it yourself.

This reaction actually conveys a negative psychological hint to the other party: "Anyway, with my wife here, I can be the boss at home, and I don't have to do anything."

It's like you can easily forgive the other party. If you don't let him experience the price of cheating, or he doesn't realize the impact of cheating on his marriage, when you easily forgive him, the other party will begin to feel: "Since your wife can even bear cheating, it means she will definitely not be able to leave me and will not divorce easily."

Look, it is not surprising that men with this idea will cheat again.

Therefore, I have always emphasized that if you really can't forgive, you can choose to divorce, but you can't easily choose to forgive a cheating man, because after you easily forgive, it may cause you infinite harm, which you can't bear.

Second, behind women's easy forgiveness is actually "attachment personality disorder".

The characteristics of dependence personality disorder are that they rely on others, have no independent opinions, are afraid to make decisions, and are afraid to take responsibility. This personality disorder will occur from an early age.

So we will see that after a man cheats, some people have to forgive this path because they are afraid of breaking out of this marriage relationship. I feel that only by staying in the original relationship can I feel a little safe. In fact, this is a manifestation of being too dependent on the other party rather than being independent.

or this path is a safe and stable path for some people, at least without the sense of separation and oppression. However, this purpose of continuing the marriage by wronging yourself can only relieve anxiety in a short period of time and will not help you much.

Because the continuation of a broken relationship does not mean that you will compromise and be humble. If you don't even love yourself, it will bring you eternal pain, pain and struggle.

So, how should we achieve true forgiveness: we must not only make the other party aware of their mistakes, but also let the other party experience the cost of cheating, and dare not do this again?

02

From the perspective of the deceived, you can do the following three points:

First, dare. How to "dare" method

?

- Dare to divorce, dare to put forward conditions, and dare to break cognitive misunderstandings.

The reason why many cheating men often trampled on your bottom line is that you dare not resist them. Especially when you can easily forgive a cheating man, it is undoubtedly putting their weaknesses in front of men and letting them catch them.

If you want to change this situation, you might as well learn from those big women in movies and TV series. After experiencing changes in life, you can change your previous weak image by constantly changing and improving, and slowly become stronger.

Although there is some bloody plot, it also tells us that we cannot be knocked down by reality and we can get up from where we fall.

Affair with a partner can be said to be the biggest blow in your life, and you can also get another ending like the heroine.

So don't be afraid of the choice of divorce. Only when you choose to divorce will you have many opportunities to negotiate with the other party. During the negotiation process, you can make a request to him. If the other party disagrees with your request, you can get a divorce. If you get divorced, you can live a better life.

When you give him a chance, it is also a chance for yourself. Since he does not respect you first, you will give him a chance. If he still doesn’t cherish it, he can only say that he asks for more blessings.

Can men who have mentally cheated on forget the women outside? In real life, most cheating men still don’t want to divorce because not many people are willing to give up the entire forest for a tree outside.

The reason why they have been enjoying the shadow of the forest and still long for the freshness outside is just because the price of divorce is not enough to awaken them.

In the final analysis, daring to divorce is the prerequisite for forgiveness. When you no longer rely on the other party and can make decisions about your life, you will not be afraid of losing this person.

second, supplement.

integrates and optimizes this marriage.

If you want to truly forgive the other party, both parties need to go back to this relationship and face all the problems in this marriage. In fact, there are many people who have marriages.

cheating is just a manifestation. When looking back on their marriages over the past few years, they found that there was a crack in their relationship before they cheated, but both parties attached great importance to the occurrence of cheating.

So when exploring the nature of cheating, you must realize that both parties need to be responsible for it.

Carefully take stock of the problems in marriage and see what can be improved by yourself and the other party, and what can promote the restoration of marriage?

In the process of thinking and integrating marriage, the cheater should be able to recognize his or her problems and bear the cost of his or her mistakes. The cheater also needs to break out of the role of the victim and stop blaming and complaining about the other party.

I always feel that forgiving the other party is also saving myself. If both parties are aware of the harm caused to each other and can find the answers they want from this cheating incident, it will be very helpful in repairing the relationship.

third, stand.

can establish a reward and punishment mechanism. If there is any positive change from the other party, you can encourage and reward appropriately, but the mistakes cannot be ignored. You can use a small punishment to warn the other party to make adjustments.

In fact, this is also part of formulating rules. The purpose of formulating rules is not only to regulate the other party's behavior, but also to supervise oneself.

Especially when doing relationship repair, this period is a good time to establish rules. Any relationship needs rules to protect it in order to develop in a long and stable manner.

For example, establish a smooth communication mechanism, leave 20 minutes a day to communicate the most real ideas with each other and share the most memorable moments of the day. This can give both parties the courage to express themselves and show their true side.

Another example is to resolve parent-child conflicts in marriage, what role should the two parties play, and how to coordinate and cooperate so as to promote the relationship between husband and wife in the process of solving the problem.

rules are formulated to deal with conflicts between husband and wife. Only with the rules can both parties abide by the rules and respect each other's boundaries. This is often the most practical and effective expression of love.

Can men with mental cheating forget the woman outside? Although many people say that forgiveness is difficult to follow, and it is right, I still think forgiveness has nothing to do with right or wrong.

Since you have decided to take this path, you should not have too much psychological burden. As long as you are ready, keep a positive attitude, and blessings of knowledge and energy, maybe the path is not as difficult as you think.