There is no doubt that your girlfriend has indeed betrayed you. It hurts you like a thorn, you can't help but vent and run back to find her. But don't do this - you need to think with your mind, not with your heart. You won't want to make things worse than it is now. In this post

There is no doubt that your girlfriend has indeed betrayed you.

This hurts you like a thorn, you can't help but vent and run back to find her. But don't do this - you need to think with your mind, not with your heart.

You won't want to make things worse than it is now.

In this article, I will give you three options to keep moving forward.

Option 1: Stay and fix the relationship

Leave her behind - use the consequences of her actions to hit her, and hurt her in the way she hurts you, which is very tempting.

However, if you really love her (and still love her now), you will at least want to try to do something to fix your relationship.

This is not easy and takes a long time, but a relationship can be recovered from cheating and is stronger than before.

Do this if:

• This has never happened before.
• You admit that you have your own concerns, such as you have not treated her well enough recently.
• You think she is your soul mate.
• She is regretful and willing to do anything to win back your trust.
• Your love for each other exceeds her mistakes.
• You think she is irreplaceable.
• No matter what, she is still a good person.

What is the correct way to do?

1) Give the other party space.

At first glance, this seems like a bad idea.

Your anxious brain will think "What if she takes the opportunity to go back to that man?" or "What if I lose her forever?"

Although this worry is understandable, it is actually one of the more important things you should do for her. After

cheating, the two of you will be in a very nervous mood immediately and cannot make any reasonable or good decisions, even if you think you can.

Give yourself some space to deal with your emotions, heal, and consider the next step in your relationship.

This is also a good time for you to heal or at least calm down so you can clearly think about whether it is really a good idea to fix your relationship after cheating.

2) Try to really understand why things happen. There are many reasons for

derailment - both good and bad.

To fix your relationship, one of the first things you need to do is to find out the reason.

Have you ignored or abused her?

Has she always been a erratic person?

Are your sexual needs incompatible?

do you often quarrel?

Is she very inferior?

these are not all, but you should understand. Ask yourself where you might have done something wrong, write them down, and think about whether this makes sense.

Understanding these reasons is important because they not only determine how you should fix your relationship, but also understanding is important if you have to truly forgive the other person.

3) Ask experts for help.

If there is an experienced and knowledgeable person to help you solve your feelings, you are more likely to find a good middle point.

After all, despite your best efforts, you cannot be 100% fair and emotionally detached from this situation.

Another perspective can help you see what you might be overlooking and find solutions you have never even considered.

4) Schedule a conversation time.

Try to find a time and place so that you two can talk about everything.

Don't confront her suddenly and force her to speak when she obviously doesn't want to. Make sure she feels safe. Otherwise, she may not open up to you and you will lose her forever.

The following are things you should keep in mind when having a conversation:

• Find a comfortable, quiet and private place.
• Don't play the accusation game.Don't take all the responsibilities, but don't put them all on her and acknowledge the role you both play in the incident.
• Make sure you have evidence of cheating. You won't want her to accuse you of being suspicious or listening to hearsays.
• If you feel that things are at risk of intensification, find a trustworthy and impartial mediator to maintain a friendly relationship between you.
• asked her why she did this. Just trying to understand why she cheated is not enough, you need to make sure the news is true.
• talk about whether you want to fix the relationship and what compromises you are willing to make.

5) Ask her what she wants.

You have heard about the reason for her cheating, and now is the time for you to take action.

Does she hope you stop yelling at her or spend more time with her?

Is she experiencing a crisis and needs some time to clean up her life alone?

encourages her to specify what she wants from you and this relationship and to do her best to meet her requirements. But of course, don't forget to remember what you can accept.

6) Tell her what you want.

Of course, there are some things you want to change, which is inevitable (such as she cheats!).

No matter what the reason for her cheating - it means that even if you have to take part of the responsibility - she is the one who cheats you after all. She did this, so you have every right to ask for something to improve your relationship.

For example, you would want her to cut off her from another person and have her delete all relevant social media contacts and phone numbers away from where he often goes.

What if she works with that person? Then you have to know if you can accept that she still sees him often, or you want her to find another job.

You also want her to be completely transparent to you. Let her tell you where she went when she was late and access to her cell phone and social media.

Of course, if she has any problems with your relationship, you can also let her come to you and not go somewhere else to seek comfort.

7) It is important to realize that healing takes time.

Generally speaking, it takes an average of 1-2 years to complete healing from an affair. And for you, it may take longer, especially if you have a lot to fix in your relationship.

Learning to trust each other and learning to abide by the new rules you set for your relationship requires a lot of patience and self-discipline.

Recovering from cheating is not a matter of time overnight, so be prepared for a long time.

Of course, no matter how hard you try to regain your relationship, you have the potential to break up again in a few years.

Option 2: Change your dynamic

When you try to fix your relationship, it is obvious that getting things back to what they were before is not the solution.

You may have to change your relationship dynamics and try another arrangement to ensure that both parties’ needs are met.

After all, once cheating occurs, everything will not be the same anymore. You may benefit from a different environment and will find this more realistic and less stressful.

Please consider this option if the following situations are present:

She is obviously not satisfied with your current relationship dynamics.

• Some things can complicate the complete breakup.
• You obviously love each other, but you need some space.
• She wants more than your current relationship can provide.
• You don't mind doing something unconventional.

1) Discuss why your current relationship is not feasible.

For example, your conversation with her has made it clear that she will not be happy if you return to the same relationship.

So, now that you have considered a different dynamic, it is time to carefully sort out your relationship and find out why it failed.

Understand where your interests and comfort levels conflict, and other factors (such as children and other obligations) complicate your situation.

Once you have done this, you can try to go to the next step.

2) Find the dynamic that suits you.

When we talk about love, we usually think of two people meeting each other, living together, and then getting married. But that's not the only way things can or should be.

There are other ways to deal with relationships, and while they may require you to adapt, it is worth a try.

You can consider the following points:

Open relationship

Not everyone can accept one-to-one relationships, and some people think this is a limitation. Maybe she cheated because of this reason.

Each section open relationship is slightly different from the next section. What is important is that you need to find an arrangement that both parties are comfortable.

You may need to consider the following points:

• Should she continue to meet the man who cheated on her?
• defines your sexual boundaries.
• How long should her other partners last?
• should be one-sided, are you not looking for another partner, or should your relationship be open to both of you?
• Should she introduce you to her other partners? While this is usually a good idea, if you are a jealous person, you may want to give up.

Living together

Sometimes you really have no choice but to break up, but there are always some things that stop you from leaving and then forget each other.

For example, maybe you have one or two kids, or you are a partner in a startup, or you don’t have money, sharing an apartment will benefit you.

In this case, you may have to accept cohabitation. You are no longer partners, but still live together, or, at least, very close to each other.

If this is the relationship you choose, try to figure out whether you can still be friends with your girlfriend after breaking up.

After all, if you want to continue to maintain a partner relationship, or even a roommate relationship, then you should at least get along well and respect each other.

Option 3: Leave, don't look back

You know you really can't accept cheating.

Maybe your partner has done this to you and left permanent scars on you. You know you don't have the ability to handle it.

so don't deal with it. Go find a woman who will never do this to you, or at least live a carefree, single life.

If the following occurs, do this :

• You tried to solve the problem, but it didn't succeed at all.
• You can see that your relationship cannot be recovered from this.
• nothing can stop you from breaking up cleanly.
• You are unwilling to meet her requirements.
• She was not very good at all.
• You would rather be single than fall in love with someone who is unfaithful to you.

1) Tell her well.

She may be unfaithful to you, but this does not mean that you should break up with her directly or send a text message to break up with her.

so take some time to meet her and have a good talk with her. Tell her why you think things won't come to an end and why you want to break up with her.

If possible, take out evidence of her cheating and let her say whatever she wants. Of course, you have to be clear that no matter what they say, they will not change your mind.

2) Solve all unresolved problems.

Before you really part ways, you will want to solve all the unfinished things. Think of anything that might take over your mind in the next few years.

• Does she have your stuff at home? Do you have her stuff at home?
• Have she logged into your account on her mobile phone, such as WeChat, Taobao or Tiktok ?
• Does she owe you a lot of money? Maybe she asked you to buy her a car or a new computer.
• Do you have any legal obligations that need to be resolved, such as custody of your child? Discuss it with the lawyer.

You want a brand new start and now you have to deal with your ex. To achieve this, you have to make sure you get things done before you go.

3) completely cut off relations with her.

Don't keep in close contact with her. Don't contact her.

You are easily tempted to reconcile with her, even if you are the one who feels you have had enough. Part of you will think “Is the right decision I made?”

so to cut off this temptation, blacklist her number and block her on social media. While she is still there, make sure she does the same with your contact information.

4) Give yourself a brand new beginning

After you are betrayed by the person you love, it is not easy to recover. It may take months, or even years, to learn to trust again.

But don't be frustrated!

You can help yourself heal by controlling your life.

Here are some things you can do:

• Be with friends and forget about breaking up. Have fun and enjoy a single life.
• Don’t jump into a new relationship immediately. The rebound relationship is destructive and rarely has good results.
• stay busy so that your mind will not fall into a negative vortex. Quietness and doing nothing can lead to overthinking, and overthinking can make it difficult to get out of things in the past.
• When you think about your previous relationship without feeling sad, try to learn from it and apply these lessons to your future love.

Conclusion

Trust is extremely precious. It takes a lot of time and effort to build up, and cheating is like a destructive ball that smashes it as soon as it comes in.

This is why cheating is so painful and why few people can fully recover from cheating. Few people are willing to put in the effort to rebuild it all.

This is not impossible, if you can do this, your relationship may be stronger than ever, even if it may be different than before.

Of course, sometimes, you have no choice but to part ways. If you decide to do this, you want to make sure your breakup is as clean and thorough as possible.

If you still feel confused after reading this article, I suggest you talk to Fei'er.

Do you like what you just read? I want to know what you think of it. So, leave a message in the comment section. In addition, remember to search for Fei on WeChat to chat about emotions and follow Fei'er. Fei'er promises that Fei'er will become the lucky charm of your beautiful love life.