You can't go out these two days, and you are blocked at home and will think of many questions when you have nothing to do.
A child asked me: Why do people get married? Why do parents have to urge them to get married when they reach a certain age? Wouldn't you be happy if you don't get married?
As a person who has experienced it, I actually want to tell her: it is okay not to get married, but because the girl’s parents especially want her to get married, and she insists on not getting married, I am afraid that my answer will have a certain impact on her, so I had to start telling her about the benefits of marriage.
But what are the benefits of marriage? This question needs to be thought about very seriously.
There seems to be no many benefits that marriage can bring us. You can look at the marriages of the people around you, most of them are living a mess. Of course, I don’t deny that there are people who have gained happiness in marriage, but the proportion is not large, and most people’s marriages are hard to describe.
The reason why we want to enter marriage is to form a family with another person. Two people can spend their lives together. They can face the unknown storms in life together, share joy, share worries, and reproduce offspring together and raise children. Raising children may be the greatest significance of marriage. In addition to completing the social mission of reproduction, people choose to raise children more to protect their children and get support from their children after they grow old.
But it is precisely because the essence of marriage is to have children, and having children requires people to devote a lot of energy to their lives. After the elderly, many children do not fulfill their support obligations to their parents. This makes many people live for their children all their lives, but after the elderly, they are sad. Many people are tired for their children to work for their children, and they are unable to create good pension conditions for themselves.
In the process of raising children, many people have lost their own life value, sacrificed their lives for their families throughout their lives, and have completely lost the value of self-existence. In marriage, we need to deal with many relationships, husband-wife relationships, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships, and parent-child relationships. We need to resolve various contradictions. Many people are exhausted, and marriage has become a kind of shackle, making people's life full of troubles.
In the current era, the reason why many young people do not want to get married is because they do not want to enter this cage-like lifestyle. They are more willing to spend their lives freely. They are unwilling to live for others and do not want to devote their life time and energy to their family.
Just now I saw a short video about Hong Huang and Chen Kaige Why did Chen Kaige divorce that year? Hong Huang said: Before she met Chen Kaige, she never felt that she needed to grab something from others. When Chen Kaige got married, Chen Kaige cheated on Ni Ping , Hong Huang had a sense of crisis for the first time. She felt that she began to become anxious, she began to feel a little anxious, and even had a sense of inferiority . This feeling was not what she wanted. She didn't want to make herself such a person, so she decisively ended this marriage. She didn't want her to spend her great time in the marriage.
Whether it is a person or a marriage, the reason we choose to get close is to make ourselves better. But many times, marriage makes many people become irritable, resentful, or even hysterically almost collapsed. If so, what is the meaning of our entry into marriage? If a marriage doesn’t make us better, then why are we going into it? Just to reproduce?
In addition to being able to accompany us, marriage makes us less lonely and allows us to have a child, so that we will not have nothing to rely on and have nothing to support in old age. What is the meaning of its existence?
Is it to find someone to quarrel every day? Or is it that in order to lose the value of self-existence in marriage, spend your life in a debate that cannot distinguish right from wrong?
" Chinese Divorce " once described marriage like this, marriage is a war between two people. Many people believe that marriage is the result of love, but the facts have proved that marriage is actually just a bondage of the interests of both men and women. Once the interests of both parties are damaged in the marriage, the foundation of this marriage will no longer be stable, and feelings are just a seasoning for marriage, which is far less important than we imagined.
My child said that her parents have been quarreling every day since she can remember, and often they quarrel. Whenever they hear her parents quarrel, she is particularly painful. Because of this, she began to resist marriage. She does not want to marry a man who needs her to endure in the future, and she does not want to put herself in a family that is quarreling endlessly, and she does not want her children to be born in such a family atmosphere.
If there is a possibility, she would rather not start.
Many parents are unhappy in their marriage, but force their children to get married. In their cognition, a person, no matter whether a man or a woman, can only achieve happiness through marriage. No matter how successful your career is, if you do not have a happy family, have no children to live in, and have no support for old age, then your life will be unfulfilled and unhappy.
Under the leadership of such values, many parents' generations spare no effort to force their children to get married in various ways regardless of their children's inner thoughts. I personally think this is not advisable.
Each era has its values of each era, and people in different eras will have great differences in their definitions of life. We cannot define other people's lives based on our perception of life, respect children's ideas, and respect their choices for their lives. This is a more democratic approach.
If one person can live well, why bother to find another person to make things difficult for him?
If my children choose not to marry, I will not stop them. They will live as they are willing to live. People come to this world to experience it, not to be wronged to live in the eyes of others.
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