Text/Xiamo
01, Volume Beginner
A family is like a bookcase, and everyone is a book and has their own territory. If you put the books randomly, it will easily make the bookcase look messy.
Since ancient times, the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been like a mess and cannot be understood clearly.
Four families, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is incompatible. The relationship between two people is like a war without gunpowder. The winner must be decided before the break is done.
Two people stood opposite each other, causing a mess in the family.
"Original Family" writes: "For manipulated parents, their children's marriage is extremely threatening. They regard their children's spouses as competitors for their children's feelings and have fierce wars with them. In order to take into account the relationship between the two sides, their children are often attacked from both sides."
In fact, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law also needs to be managed.
A mother-in-law with truly high emotional intelligence knows how to adhere to the "three no" principle. No matter how good the relationship is, she will not do the following to her daughter-in-law.
02. You won’t live with your daughter-in-law, keep a distance
. If you don’t keep a distance between your mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it is easy to have conflicts.
"Original Family" writes: "The biggest difference between a healthy and toxic family system is that family members, as individuals, have the freedom to express their ideas."
The age difference between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is very different. They have different positions and it is easy to stand on opposite sides when looking at problems.
For example: Housework issues, the mother-in-law feels sorry for her son, and hopes that the daughter-in-law can take on more housework, so that the son can go home and have a hot meal, and then have more rest time.
The daughter-in-law hopes that the man can share more housework. This is his responsibility and a manifestation of loving his wife.
As a mother, caring for her son is a normal state.
However, if you are not careful, you will cross the boundary and cause trouble for your daughter-in-law. Too much interference will not bring more happiness to the son, and it will also affect the couple's marriage.
A smart mother-in-law will not live with her daughter-in-law and know how to keep a distance.
After all, young people have a lifestyle for young people, and the elderly also need their own living space.
distance creates beauty. Keeping a distance between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can reduce many running-in and conflicts from life and values.
03. No matter how the daughter-in-law spends money, respect her lifestyle
The two generations have different lifestyles and different consumption concepts.
Mother-in-law, lived half her life, and had been suffering for half her life. In life, we have developed the good habit of being thrifty and thrifty.
However, when the daughter-in-law was born, her material conditions were better, and her control over money was often much weaker.
I once saw such mother-in-law. After her son got married, he was picky about his daughter-in-law and disliked her not being thrifty enough to manage the house, saying that he would receive express delivery every day; there were also some mother-in-law who, when his son got married, still forced his son and daughter-in-law to pay his salary for her to keep it...
If this happens, there will inevitably be a big conflict with her mother-in-law.
The mother-in-law’s original intention is to better develop her family and she does not want to squander money at will. However, young people have different ways of living. They are happy to spend money, but they are more willing to make money.
If they do not have the happiness of spending money, they will easily lose the motivation to make money.
Mother-in-law with high emotional intelligence will not interfere too much in the management of the daughter-in-law's finances.
If mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are concerned about spending money, respecting each other's lifestyles will reduce many unnecessary misunderstandings.
Sons and daughter-in-law are a whole, and they have the right to plan their lives and manage their own economy.
If poor management causes the economic crisis, they will also bear it themselves. This will help them understand how to live better.
04. Do not interfere with the daughter-in-law's decision and do not interfere with her choice
Between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, respect is one of the ways to maintain decent.
Daughter-in-law has her own life, work and dreams, and mother-in-law with high emotional intelligence will not interfere with their lives.
If the mother-in-law interferes with the daughter-in-law's choices on the grounds of caring about her son, it is easy for the daughter-in-law to feel that she is an outsider and has no autonomy.
A mother-in-law with high emotional intelligence will not repeatedly "stimulate" children to her daughter-in-law when she gets along with her daughter-in-law, and will not emphasize that she has the responsibility of "supporting her husband and children".
The son and daughter-in-law have the right to decide the lifestyle of two people.
The mother-in-law is full of trust in her daughter-in-law, and the daughter-in-law will be more grateful to her mother-in-law, and will have more respect and filial piety in the future.
The mother-in-law with high emotional intelligence knows that after she starts a family and starts a career, she becomes an "outsider". The daughter-in-law and son are the ones who have been together for the rest of their lives.
A smart mother-in-law knows that she is good to her daughter-in-law and supports her decisions, so that she will love her husband more and give more for her family.
When the mother-in-law does not interfere with the freedom of her daughter-in-law and does not control her life direction, the daughter-in-law will be respected and will truly regard the mother-in-law as a family.
If we get along like this, when the daughter-in-law encounters a major life choice, she will take the initiative to solicit opinions from her mother-in-law, and the relationship between the two will get along better.
05, summary
American marriage columnist Henry Crowder said: "Those who cross the line will never feel that they cross the line, because it is the ones that hurt others."
Mother-in-law with high emotional intelligence is good at managing the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, know how to keep a distance from their son and daughter-in-law, and know how to let go.
Don’t participate in their lives too much and don’t disturb their lives. Don’t interfere with your daughter-in-law’s spending money and give her more freedom.
Life is their own. Mother-in-law does not interfere, keeps a distance, and spends her energy and time on living her old age well, so that the big family will be more harmonious.
Mother-in-law who knows how to let go often makes her son and daughter-in-law live happier.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is based on equality and trust, so that the relationship can be deeper under the baptism of time.
Mother-in-law with high emotional intelligence are often people who know how to live their lives well. They will take off the heavy responsibility of their children at the right time and allow them to arrange and live freely in their marriage.
-END-
Author: Xia Mo, a new emotional tutor, psychology scholar, a popular emotional writer on the entire network of over 1 billion, a happy woman manager, focusing on emotions, gender, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law for more than ten years.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-