Recommendation: Everyone is the protagonist in their own story, and we also play supporting roles in other people’s stories. But have you ever thought that sometimes a line you have in someone else’s story might change the direction of that story.

Source: Interesting Coach (EmpowerLeaders)

Author: Xiaoka

Recommended words:

Everyone is the protagonist in their own story, and we also play supporting roles in other people's stories.

But have you ever thought that sometimes a line you have in someone else’s story may change the direction of that story.

Special thanks to Katrina for sharing her change story with me, allowing me to understand the meaning of being a coach. I even admire her courage to change.

Carnegie said: "Courage is the standard for measuring the size of the soul." May you and I have a big soul.

——Coach Gao Lin

01 A pattern that makes me chased by fear for more than ten years

Teach Gao Lin once said that choosing to tell you the story is choosing what kind of life you are.

If you want to ask what kind of story I had in my first half of my life, then " Ugly Duckling " must be the most suitable for me.

I grew up in a single-parent family and have always longed for others' recognition and love.

I am famous for my hard work in school because I am worried that I will be abandoned at will without value. Try to be a good student and a good cadre, and strive to be someone that everyone likes.

and even after work, I also focused on doing my work perfectly, so that I would definitely be seen by others.

So slowly, I accidentally formed a kind of "pleasing mode" at work :

unwilling to ask others for help, for fear that others would think I was a "many" person;

When facing other people's help, I felt that I had committed a mistake. If you are wrong, let alone reject it;

I hope that everything will be perfect, comprehensive, and can get everyone's praise;

......

"Pleasant mode" is very tiring, but when I hear the "good reviews" given to me by others and see my "growth", I think that is the "progress" I want, and all of this is worth it.

catching up with fear and achievements , I keep pushing myself forward desperately.

Everyone likes my efforts. In order to respond to their expectations, I studied at my own expense and obtained the certification of 15 international courses .

’s lectures within the company, whether it is 1 hour or 3 days, I will carefully prepare word-by-word drafts and memorize them to ensure that every training has a "perfect" performance.

Just in a flash, I have indeed used my "work" to get a lot of opportunities for promotion and salary increase, but for some reason, I am getting more and more tired but I can't be happy.

I had no idea that "pleasing others" had been integrated into my bones, so that began to become extremely "numb" to other things .

I am still the ugly duckling walking with his head down, and I can't establish a real connection with anyone.

02 One sentence let me find myself

Because of work needs, I started my new learning again, but this time I encountered "Story Power TTT" is completely different from the previous training experiences of more than ten years.

"Story Power TTT" has three days of content. The first two days were theory and the third day was practical trial lecture. After all, I have had more than ten years of experience, and after my trial lecture, I was quite satisfied with my performance.

But Teacher Tina did not leave any affection and said directly that I was like a robot.

You can imagine that I was so angry at that time. I had experience and experience. Why should I be pointed at by others?

Until the end of get out of class, Teacher Gao Lin quietly stuffed me a small note. I opened it and took a look, and burst into tears in an instant.

I didn't have the courage to open it and take a look at it again, but the sentence on the note seemed to be printed on my retina, and it always swayed in front of my eyes, forcing me to face it.

This note has been hidden by me for a long time because it is like a shameful secret of mine, afraid that others will know it.

But today, I can finally post it calmly:

"Dear, when you don't work so hard to make others like you, others will like you more."

When I wrote this, I burst into tears as before, because the inferior self that I had been hiding for a long time, the self that I almost forgot about, was finally seen.

I seemed to see the missing piece in my heart finally filled up. The self I abandoned for many years said to me with a smile: "I have been waiting for you for a long time. Welcome back and be the complete self."

An ugly duckling finally saw in the mirror that it turned out to be a swan.

Later I talked to Teacher Gao Lin about my own experience, and she said to me: "No one must be strong, fragility is also powerful. Give up perfection, pursue completeness, pursue gentleness and firmness."

03 A course makes me a better self

Until today, I am still reviewing and savoring the details in "Stories Power TTT". It is like a shocking stone, awakening me and creating endless ripples on the lake.

In the course, I not only learned knowledge, but also found a more complete self. saw clearly the pattern that I had been escaping, and gained the courage to fly high wings .

And those things that have been ignored or have no courage to face, once seen, seem to be less powerful.

I began to carefully review my experiences along the way, analyze the benefits and limitations that "pleasing" brings to me, and from the bottom of my heart I feel that "gentle and firm" is what I want to be.

Then, I made a practical action plan for myself .

In every important conversation with others or every training session, I will tell the other party in advance, "I hope I can be gentle and firm today. If you think I have not done it, please tell me."

After the conversation or training is over, I will ask for feedback from the other party.

If it is certain, I will ask, "Where do you think I did it particularly match"; if it is negative, I will also ask you how you think I would say it would be better.

This method is very effective for me. The repeated conversations and training have given me more and more sincere feedback.

I have become increasingly aware that I have the courage to express my different opinions in communication, and be able to reasonably reject others, and I will not always talk about "sorry".

And during the training, I can also have better links with the students. The satisfaction of the students in the course I teach is getting higher and higher, and the applause I receive at the end of each course is becoming more and more lasting and heartfelt.

I think, they all saw a better me, and I, and I, have become a better myself, .

——Written at the end—

Once, my mother came to see my training, and amid the thunderous applause, I saw the tears in her eyes.

At that moment, I seemed to be back to that ordinary afternoon when I was a child. My mother held my hand and smiled and said to me, "My daughter is the most amazing!"

She must be very proud of me now.

So I am extremely grateful for the story and thanks to Teacher Gao Lin. They took me to find myself and accompanied me all the way, and went hand in hand with .

Now I am still cultivating myself "gentle and firm". The road of has no end, but it makes me extremely happy .

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