He Huan, a writer of emotional psychology between genders, writes stories of affection, interesting strangers, and informative knowledge.
I saw a hot search on the Internet:
Will frequent chatting with the opposite sex really have a good impression?
Under this hot search, many netizens share their experiences. What is the keyword
?
frequently chats, opposite sex, and good feelings.
The behavior of frequent chatting, the opposite sex is relationship, and favor is emotion.
High frequency chats will definitely bring people the "illusion of love" before love arises.
For example:
You chat with the other party every day, and the other party does give you some responses in time; this state of "you come and I go" will make you feel that "we are in a romantic relationship".
Then why does frequent chatting make two people feel good about each other?
. Is there any basis for analyzing this problem from a psychological perspective?
-01
Amazing "habit effect"
This is a concept in the category of individual psychology .
Habits, as the name suggests, are like eating and drinking water, becoming something that a person will do without deliberately urging himself to do in life.
Psychologically speaking:
When a person insists on something for more than 21 days, he develops this habit, also known as the "21-day habit formation method".
Later, more and more people called this habit developed in 21 days the "habit effect".
First share with you an interesting story:
A father and son live in the mountains and often need to drive a ox cart to the distant towns to exchange for some food and necessities at home.
The mountain road is relatively steep and there are often some "sharp turns".
Every time I go through a corner, my son will loudly remind his father: "Dad, click slowly, it's going to turn."
Once, my father was sick and rested at home, so my son had to drive a ox cart to the town alone.
guess what happened?
When the ox cart reaches a sharp turn, the cow is not willing to turn the corner no matter what, and it runs faster and faster.
The little boy was very scared. At this time, he was ignorant and thought of a solution.
He posted it near Lao Niu's ear and shouted, "Dad, slow down, turn the corner."
Sure enough, after hearing this, Lao Niu slowed down and passed the corner smoothly.
This is a joke, but it explains well the impact of habits on people and animals, and is of practical significance.
In an intimate relationship, habits will also affect the relationship progress of two people.
For example:
You will go to the small restaurant downstairs of the company to have dinner every day. It won’t take long to get familiar with the boss.
to how mature is?
Every time you go to a restaurant, you don’t need to say it directly, the boss will ask you directly: “Or it is the same?”
This is habit and tacit understanding.
It is precisely because you have frequent contact and many intersections that you have created, so you have established this kind of "social connection". The same is true during the chat process of the opposite sex.
You don’t need 21 days to chat every day, and you will be immersed in this state.
Once the other party does not send you a message one day and does not reply to your message in time, your mood will be depressed.
Because in your subconscious, you think:
"He must like me. If he doesn't like me, then why do he chat with me like this every time? Now he is indifferent to me, probably because he doesn't like me."
We always worry about gains and losses when facing people we like, and can't help but think a lot.
In fact, you can’t even figure out whether your relationship with the other person is “habit” or “love”.How to judge whether the feelings generated by
-02
Chat is true love?
Someone may ask:
"How should I judge the relationship between us, is it like, habit or true love?"
In other words,
fell in love with someone who chats with me every day. Is such a relationship reliable?
It is actually very simple to judge the "purity" of this kind of relationship.
needs several conditions:
1. High self-exposed
means:
Both of you are willing to reveal your trump card to each other and don’t mind telling each other some of your shortcomings and embarrassing things.
The relationship between you two is heating up very quickly. Every time you chat with each other, you can explore the growth experience of each other.
The more things you share, the more in-depth the topics you share, and the more intimate the things you share, it means that the more real the relationship between you two is.
This requires trust, security, love and other factors.
2. Psychological Visibility - Understanding and Understanding
During your chat, you feel that you are "very in line with the other party".
It seems that he is the person you have to wait for, because he can always understand your emotions, perceive your emotional fluctuations, and perceive your sadness and forbearance.
Similarly, when communicating with the other party, you also try to think about the problem from his perspective and try to establish " empathy with " with him.
, a two-way chat, can be understood as "psychological visibility".
In the other person, you can see yourself, feel yourself, feel loved and understood.
Frequent chatting creates love, because only chatting can promote understanding between each other. What are you most afraid of in
?
He was just bored, and he thought of chatting with you for a few casual words; but you, without realizing it, get deeper and deeper.
One is very perfunctory and the other is very serious;
The passionate one is ruthless, and the affectionate one is tragic.
Today’s topic:
Will you fall in love with someone because of “frequent chat”?
(Article pictures are from the Internet)
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