Zhou Guoping said: "It is instinct to be picky about people close to you, but overcoming instinct and not being picky about people close to you is a kind of education."
Facing strangers who meet by chance, even if you don't like some of their behaviors and dislike them, you dare not blame them at will, just because your friendship is not deep and these words are difficult to say, and you are also worried that the other party will be angry, and you will turn your back on you and add an enemy to yourself.
When you are close to people, you may not have any concerns, especially as an elder, you always like to educate your younger generations. As long as it is something you don’t like, you can say it if you want to say it, and blame it if you want to. When the younger generation shows unhappiness and impatientness, the elders will become more angry and they will talk about filial piety.
What's more, they are reluctant to pick on their children. They always favor their children and look at their other half of their children, and blame them more. There is a saying on the Internet: "A good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will make your happy marriage icing on the cake; a bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will cause cracks in your relationship with each other."
If mother-in-law and daughter-in-law cannot get along well, it will be difficult for a man in the middle to do it. No matter whether you help one side, you will be criticized by the other party. Whether it is unfilial, forgetting your parents' hat after marrying a wife, or being unable to tell the truth, or being a mama's boy's hat, it is not that easy to wear.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts, which troubles not only women, but also women who meet unreasonable parents or wives who disrespect their parents-in-law at all. No matter how good a man is, it is difficult for the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along harmoniously.
"My parents came to National Day and sued my wife five times in 3 days. I decided to go back to their homes in the future. Now, I have bought train tickets for my parents and will take them away tomorrow morning."
The parents were very unhappy. Not only did they not realize their mistakes, but they felt that Mr. Chen, who was standing on his wife's side and asking his parents to leave, was cowardly. A big man couldn't even control his wife. He always kept the six words "I'm for your own good" on his lips, which made Mr. Chen really tired of dealing with it.
01.
Mr. Chen is 26 years old this year. He just got married in June this year and married his girlfriend whom he had been in love for two years.
"My parents don't like my wife because when my wife gets married, she asks for a dowry and a wedding house. Although I can understand that in the eyes of my parents, my children are extremely excellent, we must also consider the actual situation! I am just an ordinary person, graduated from a first-tier university with a monthly salary of about 7,000, and I am not too handsome. My mother just thinks that people who want to be her daughter-in-law can line up in long queues and don't even bring a generous dowry to be worthy of her son. I'm speechless."
Although Mr. Chen has repeatedly explained his ordinaryness and hopes that his parents are more practical, it is useless. When talking about marriage, the arrogant attitude of parents almost angered the woman's parents. If Mr. Chen hadn't lost his temper and had to say that he would be a bachelor for the rest of his life, his parents would probably have really disrupted Mr. Chen's marriage.
When we got married, Mr. Chen and his wife sold the wedding house, which was a two-bedroom apartment. The parents sponsored 100,000 yuan, the father-in-law and mother-in-law gave 100,000 yuan, and the couple collected 50,000 yuan. Mr. Chen's parents always disliked the house and did not have their place.
"It's that much money, the house price is so high, how big can I buy? Besides, my wife told me clearly that I feel that my parents are not easy to get along with and are unwilling to live with my parents-in-law. To be honest, I don't want to live with my parents. I can feel that once I live under the same roof with my parents, I will have to spend my days in daily quarrels."
And what happened three days before the National Day really confirmed Mr. Chen's idea.
02.
Originally, Mr. Chen and his wife had an agreement before marriage to go back to their wife's home on National Day, and to go back to their husband's hometown during the Chinese New Year, and spend the New Year with their parents-in-law.
"My mother-in-law celebrates her birthday on October 3, so we plan to go back to see my father-in-law and mother-in-law on National Day, and be filial. Isn't it good to go back to my hometown during the Chinese New Year and have a New Year's Eve dinner with my parents? However, my parents knew that we would not go back on National Day, so they came directly. They didn't say in advance that they arrived at the bus station on the afternoon of the 30th, and called me, which forced my wife and I to change our idea of going back to her parents-in-law."
Seeing that this was the first time that the National Day had been celebrated after marriage, and with the comfort of our parents-in-law, Mr. Chen's wife was tolerant of the uninvited behavior of her parents-in-law. She didn't say much, and cleaned up her side lying down to receive her parents-in-law. However, the daughter-in-law wanted to be polite to her parents-in-law for the sake of the man's face, which did not mean that her parents-in-law would not be able to make trouble.
sued his daughter-in-law five times in three days. Mr. Chen’s parents’ behavior could not even stand it, let alone the daughter-in-law.
"When they arrived, it was three o'clock in the afternoon. At that time, my wife and I were at work, so it was impossible to take a leave to pick them up. So I sent them a positioning and asked them to take a taxi directly to my house according to the positioning. I would say hello to the property and put them into the community. My door was a password lock, and I also told them the password."
However, Mr. Chen's parents insisted that they could not operate and asked their daughter-in-law to pick them up. Mr. Chen's wife tried to speak to the boss, but was rejected by the boss, so she had to continue working. So, Mr. Chen's parents waited at the bus station until his son got off work. On the way back, they accused their daughter-in-law of their daughter-in-law all the way, regardless of the actual situation at all.
03.
After Mr. Chen's wife got off work, she went to a supermarket and bought a lot of ingredients that her parents-in-law liked to eat, intending to apologize to her parents-in-law. But even so, Mr. Chen's parents kept nagging until they were resting at night, and they could even talk about this topic in the next three days.
"On the morning of the first day, they complained to me again. The reason was that they got up and my wife didn't get up. My wife and I were the same. We had to work ten hours a day, and only had one day off a week. Sometimes we worked overtime. We finally had a holiday. Can't we sleep in a sleepless sleep? They wanted to have breakfast, and there were some sales downstairs. If we really couldn't order takeout, why did we have to get up and make breakfast for them?"
Next, our parents' complaints became even more powerful. I saw that my daughter-in-law bought express delivery online. Although many of these things were necessities for daily life, some were bought for Mr. Chen, my parents would not accuse my daughter-in-law of being promiscuous and suggested that Mr. Chen get his wife’s salary card so that his wife would not spend all the money.
Seeing his son cooking, Mr. Chen's mother became even more angry. She rushed into the kitchen and dragged Mr. Chen out, not letting Mr. Chen work, and kept looking at his daughter-in-law with an angry look. Mr. Chen's wife also got angry and went back to the house. Therefore, lunch on the second day had to be solved by takeaway.
When the in-laws criticized themselves for their 1,000 tribute to their parents for celebrating their fortunes, Mr. Chen's wife's temper completely broke out. She pointed directly at the door and asked Mr. Chen to choose between her parents and his wife. Mr. Chen chose his wife, which made her parents very angry.
"I'm just married and don't want to divorce. I completely believe now. They can't live under the same roof, otherwise it will be me who will be unlucky."
04.
Remember Takeshi Kitano once said: "The so-called rules, fundamentally considering them, is actually thinking about others. A poor person has no idea of 'consideration of others' feelings'."
As parents and in-laws, you don't think about your son and daughter-in-law, and you are always picky about your daughter-in-law. If you want to control your son's life and create conflicts with your son's small family, then don't blame your son and daughter-in-law for being unfilial and unable to tolerate you.
is good, it is mutual, and the relationship is even more so. There is no grace for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to give birth, no blood relationship, and there is no obligation. I have been watching my mother-in-law for ten years. The principle between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is to treat you the principle of how you treat me.
If you cannot get along well with your daughter-in-law and force your son to choose between you and your little family, then you are likely to cheat your old age and put your son in an embarrassing situation where you are not a human inside and outside.
END.
Fengyun Please discuss: Do you have any good suggestions to Mr. Chen? Welcome to share your views in the comment section.
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