The reader wrote:
I admit that I am a materialistic woman, which has led to the formation of my concept of marriage and love: 1) During my growth, my mother frequently emphasized the importance of money in life in front of me; 2) I look outstanding, and probably since I was in middle school, many men have been "limbing dogs" in front of me, which has grown up my vanity; 3) The love of this era has been objectified, which has led me to also want to find a man from a good family as my marriage partner.
My husband and I met at a dinner organized by a friend, and he took the initiative to pursue me. Because his father has his own company and his husband has a tendency to inherit his father's business in the future, facing his husband's pursuit, I agreed to be with him. During our dating, I didn't hide my interest in money at all. My husband also devoted his favor to spend money for me and promised me that I would not have to go to work after marriage and he would give me 30,000 yuan in pocket money every month.
During the more than a year of love, my husband was indeed generous in front of me, and after getting married, he did make a promise to give me 30,000 yuan in pocket money every month. But the good times didn’t last long. After I gave birth to a baby, my husband gave me less pocket money (only more than 10,000 yuan a month). The reason given by her husband is: he is facing some difficulties in business now.
needs to be admitted that my husband has indeed encountered some bottlenecks in his career in the past two years, but he still has the strength to give me 30,000 yuan in pocket money every month. In my opinion, my husband felt that he had already taken me a lot of pocket money, so he no longer paid attention to me. In this case, I had the idea of divorceing my husband.
To be honest, in my understanding, I don’t worry at all that no one will be a buyer after the divorce. If I hadn't been for being generous in front of me, I wouldn't have considered marrying him at all. In fact, before meeting my husband, there was a man from a good family who was more attentive to me, but the other party did not show a generous state in front of me. I would feel that even if the other party was rich, his money would not have anything to do with me, so I did not agree to the other party's pursuit. The reason why I want to divorce now is that I think my husband’s money has nothing to do with me.
Muzili Emotional analysis:
In life, we need to understand a few things:
1) A woman's outstanding appearance will indeed give herself an advantage in the marriage and love market. But if a woman only has a glamorous appearance but is not worthy of her own beauty, then a man’s interest in similar women is often just a flash in the pan. You should know that more attractive women will not take the initiative to ask men for money at all, but men will be willing to give their money to this woman. Obviously, you are the woman who takes the initiative to ask men for money to spend. In the mind of men, your weight will naturally not be too heavy.
2) What is needed for married life is to live together, which means that in a relationship, one must form a good mutual relationship. If in a relationship, only seeking is left, but being stingy with giving. The person who gives more will have an imbalance in his mind. In this case, it is not that the other party does not have the ability to give in front of you, but that he resists giving in front of you. When you make various requests to your husband, have you ever asked yourself: What have you paid for in this relationship?
3) In the past two years, your husband has encountered some trouble in his career, and he will definitely tighten his expenses. Not only will he give you less pocket money, but he probably will have some employees in his unit fired. At this time, you should have the awareness: when faced with the dissatisfaction of your husband's career, you should give him encouragement and guidance, but what you care about is whether the 30,000 yuan pocket money he promised to you every month is received. In this case, have you considered how your husband would look at your marriage?
Before you met your husband, you were indeed liked by many men. Either because the other person’s family background was poor, you would not consider the other person as your marriage partner at all; or there were a few men from good families who pursued you, but the other party was not willing to spend more money on you, so that your husband was the best choice for your age at marriage.In fact, whether during love or after marriage, your husband is still reasonable to you, but you don’t know how to be content, which makes your husband a little tired of you now. In addition, his ability to make money is weaker than before, making your husband unwilling to give you 30,000 yuan in pocket money every month, but one thing is certain, on the material level, your husband has not allowed you and your children to be restrained.
In this case, if you file for divorce with your husband, my judgment is: your husband will never do too much to retain you. Because what your husband feels in this relationship is that you blindly ask for money and you only recognize money in your cognition, but don’t have much feelings for your husband, which will make your husband feel that you have no potential to share the pain. Since you and your husband are in a supporting relationship, why don’t he consider finding a young and beautiful woman to play with her life? The key is that what your husband needs is a beautiful and compassionate lover. It means that when you are unwilling to change your attitude towards managing a marriage, don’t say that you want to divorce your husband, your husband probably will have the same intention.
An indisputable fact: because you are good-looking, when you and your husband divorce, you can indeed find yourself a next home, but you may not be able to find a man from a better family than your husband as a buyer, nor may you find a man who is generous than your husband as a buyer. Let’s talk about a few more cruel reality: 1) After the divorce, you will automatically label a second-hand woman. Why do those men from good families consider you? 2) Your view of marriage and love is extremely materialistic. Do you think those men from good families will be sincere in front of you? 3) You may not be able to like some men who are really interested in you but have an average family background. It means: After divorced from your husband, you are likely to be single for a long time until your view of marriage and love has been adjusted.
As a human being, you can’t be too confused and confident, be careful that you will end up ruining yourself. To be honest: In this era when makeup and plastic surgery are relatively developed, beautiful women are quite crowded. During this period, it was a good result to be able to find a man from a good family to hold hands and marry. In this relationship, don’t live your life as your ancestors. After all, when you weigh the pros and cons, your lover will also weigh the pros and cons. The awareness should be given in the process of managing a marriage: spending the other person’s money should make the other person happy. Just because your face that looks glamorous but will aging sooner or later presents a face that is only interested in money in front of men. Don’t you think you will be kicked out of the siege by men sooner or later?
Edited by:
In the process of managing relationships, don’t complain to your lover when you encounter unhappy things, but ask yourself first: 1) What you have paid in this relationship; 2) If your lover gives you the same feedback with your attitude of managing relationships, what will happen to you? Healthy feelings are always about going to each other. If a person only knows how to ask for things in a relationship but ignores giving, do you think your lover is willing to be a sucker in front of you for the rest of his life?
In this world, except for your parents' concern for you, everyone has a desire to treat you. If you still show selfishness in the fields of love and friendship, your fate will naturally be the result of your lover and friends gradually withdrawing from you. When facing those who are good to you, remember to give the other person some love response. If you think the other person is right to you, you will be very wrong.
(The picture is from the Internet, the picture is irrelevant)
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