Father relationships between people are inseparable from a sense of proportion.
But in real life, there are always some people who like to define and guide others based on their preferences. It seems that they are the truth. If others do not meet their standards, they are aliens.
Although everyone has the right to have their own ideas, judging others by themselves will not only make themselves miss friends that are truly worthy of deep-seated, but will also cause unnecessary harm to others.
Many times, what we see is only the surface of a person, and what we think about is only the human nature within our own cognitive scope. In fact, if you want to truly understand a person, you cannot only look at the surface, but also learn to think from the perspective of others and get along with the other person with an open and tolerant attitude, rather than looking at the other person with a narrow and prejudiced perspective.
There is a reason behind every personality, and it cannot be used to judge a person's character.
does not necessarily mean that it is right, and the public may not necessarily mean that it is right.
Fear of loneliness and enjoying group living is a common feature of most people, but it is not inevitable.
When a person learns to enjoy loneliness, understand life in loneliness, improve himself, and find his own fun, it is also an excellent way of life.
Many people think that friends are necessities, and family affection is innate, so a normal person should have many friends surrounded by family affection. In fact, this can only be said to be a beautiful future for most people.
people are born lonely, but they meet many people in their growth, develop various relationships with many people, develop emotional bonds, and create the illusion that the other party is an indispensable part of their life. In fact, no matter how close people are, they are passers-by in life, because everyone has their own life, their own pursuits, and their own tasks that they need to complete.
If friends focus on their own affairs and don’t contact each other for a long time, they will slowly get separated.
Relatives are no exception. When brothers and sisters grow up, they will have their own lives, their own worries, their own pursuits, and their own families. Gradually, relatives became relatives.
Therefore, it is not uncommon for a person to have no friends and family affection is thin.
However, there must be a cause for everything, and any formation is traceable.
Some people say that such people are cold-hearted and think that such people are selfish and cold-blooded, and are not worthy of deep friendship.
This is actually a misunderstanding.
As long as you are willing to understand, you will find that in fact, they are probably these three types of people:
1: The influence of the original family leads to a lack of trust in the people around you
Regarding the original family, there is a saying that says: "A happy childhood can heal the pain for a lifetime, while an unhappy childhood needs to be healed for a lifetime."
Everyone hopes to live under the love of their parents since childhood, but not everyone can have such happiness. For some people, it is just a luxury.
Some parents often treat their children with their own prejudice and personal emotions, which is destined to make it difficult for children to get love from their original family.
Parents are the first teachers of their children. Before they have formed their views, their children will imitate their parents and feel the kindness of the world to them from their parents. However, people are self-aware. When they grow up, they will find that because the original family does not give them love, they do not have enough courage and confidence to face the world with them.
In this case, you have to learn to protect yourself. The safest and best way to protect yourself is to refuse others' approach and not get close to others, so that you will not rely on others and hope for others, and you will not be hurt or disappointed.
Some people say that the original family is not good to you, which does not mean that everyone is the same.
In the eyes of some people, people who have such ideas are too extreme. In fact, this is not extreme, but a kind of sequelae of trauma.
They just feel that they can't afford to be hurt by the people they believe in, and they don't want to be disappointed.
However, in a human society, if you rely on too much, you will most likely be disappointed. After all, human nature is selfish, and everyone has their own affairs, so not being able to have a close relationship with others casually and maintain a sense of proportion with your relatives is also a way to protect yourself.
2: See human nature clearly and understand that any relationship is inseparable from interests
The relationship between people is inseparable from interests, and relatives are no exception.
Someone once said this: "When you have nothing, you will find the coldness of family affection, and when you have everything, you will also find the enthusiasm of family affection."
The sentence also applies to friends. As the saying goes, "No one asks about the poor on the streets, and no one asks about the rich in the mountains." People seek profit and avoid harm. Pursuing profit is human nature. Even if it is between relatives, if there is no profit at all and only burdens left, you will get bored over time and even turn against each other, "There is no filial son in front of the bed for a long time" is what it means.
Some people have experienced it. They have seen the reality clearly and understood human nature. They do not want to work hard to manage hypocritical relationships. They would rather be a free person who enjoys loneliness and a pure life. They will refuse the invitation to eat, drink and play with friends, and gradually, they will become distant from friends.
But in real life, such people are often misunderstood as being arrogant and looking down on others.
In fact, they just don’t want to manage and maintain interest relationships outside of work.
Even if a friend does not talk about material things, he should talk about emotional value. If you don’t understand him or he doesn’t understand you, how can you become friends? This is also a kind of benefit.
And relatives seem to have an innate blood relationship, so they can not talk about interests, but in fact they also talk about it. However, many times they use family affection to cover up and use it, so many people take their efforts to affect family affection for granted, and those with weak family affection just don’t want to have expectations for family affection and don’t want to have emotional dependence on family affection.
When a person reaches middle age, his true maturity is not to come and go freely in his interest relationship, but to be willing to let go.
They see the reality clearly and understand human nature. They are not passively abandoned by friends and family affection, but take the initiative to keep the necessary distance and sense of proportion with family affection, live their own life well, and manage their own land well.
3: Understand that loneliness is the norm in life.
Loneliness is the norm in life. The best way to face it is to accept it and enjoy it.
Once a reader told me that she was afraid of loneliness, so every time she fell in love, she would break up because she was overly dependent on the other party.
People who are afraid of loneliness will feel trust in someone in their hearts, and they will easily become dependent on the other person, believing that as long as the other person is there, they will gain a sense of security.
In fact, the reason why people are insecure is because of their inner lack. Only by enriching their inner self, recognizing themselves, and daring to face loneliness can they truly have their own sense of security.
Otherwise, no matter how much security others give you, it will be temporary. Once the other party wants to come back and no longer loves you, you will fall into the fear of loneliness again, and it is easier to rely on others, consume yourself again and again, and love again and again without getting it. People like
often easily believe in others. They seem to have many friends, but in fact they are extremely lonely deep in their hearts.
There is a saying that says: "Himmers are the loneliness of a group of people, and loneliness is the excitement among a group of people."
When you are full of heart, even if you have no friends and family affection is thin, then your soul is lively.
When you are scarce, even if you have a group of friends, then the depths of your soul will be lonely.
people all look the same, but in fact everyone has an independent consciousness. Coupled with the differences in growth experience, the differences between people will become more and more obvious.
So, it is inevitable and understandable that someone is different from us.
Whether you have friends or not, family affection is weak or not, it is just a way of life, and you don’t have to wear tinted glasses for others because of this.
Between people, keep a sense of proportion, do not give excessive guidance to others, and blame is the minimum respect for others.
and eliminate prejudices and break the barriers is to think from the perspective of others.
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