"Forgot how to laugh"
The day after I died, my boyfriend Jiang Heng moved into our wedding room with his childhood sweetheart.
They are like the most loving couple, and even feel disgusted with my name.
Until, he was in the cemetery and saw my tombstone.
This story comes from Zhihu
01
I used despicable means to let Jiang Heng be with me.
Five years ago, his childhood sweetheart fell ill and needed 300,000 yuan in surgery and a kidney.
I helped him pay for money and kidneys, as long as he dated me on the premise of getting married.
I always knew that Jiang Heng didn’t have me in his heart, and even hated me very much.
In the five years together, he never smiled at me.
When I was in the bed, I always had a cold and handsome face, and I wish I could die in the bed.
When he occasionally loses his composure, he also calls "Xiaoxiao".
Xiaoxiao is his childhood sweetheart.
I have always known that Jiang Heng likes his childhood sweetheart.
I often have a secret pity. He has such a beautiful face, it would be great if he could smile more.
I shouldn't complain, after all, I made him forget how to laugh.
02
may be retribution.
is just one month before we get married.
His childhood sweetheart Su Xiaoxiao is coming back.
After Su Xiaoxiao was cured of her illness, she won a quota for exchange students and went abroad for five years.
Jiang Heng also hated me for five years because of this.
Today is the day when Su Xiaoxiao returns to China.
Why do I know, because Su Xiaoxiao sent me a message.
She said to me on purpose.
"Guess, will Brother Heng stay outside for the night today?"
At this time, I looked at Jiang Heng who was carefully dressed up in front of the full-body mirror, which was really handsome.
He has a slender figure and deep facial features.
Over the past five years, Aokiji, who has lost his campus, has become more mature and stable, and has become more charming.
I sat on the sofa and clenched my fists.
still speaks overestimately.
"Jiang Heng, I seem to have a cold. Can you accompany me today?"
Jiang Heng paused his hand in tie.
He didn't look back.
just looked at me indifferently through the mirror.
did not answer, and picked up the car key and left.
I know he is going to pick him up.
My heart also fell to the bottom at this moment.
I know that over the past five years, I have not only not warmed up Jiang Heng's heart, but also made him hate me to the core.
I sat on the sofa for a long time.
Imagine everything that will happen after Jiang Heng and Su Xiaoxiao meet.
thought about it and then it became a rebellious.
I deliberately packed everything about me at home.
Then I realized that there were only a few things that belonged to me in this wedding room, and a suitcase was full.
Maybe I always know in my heart that Jiang Heng does not belong to me, and this wedding house does not belong to me either.
has not brought too much of my stuff.
03
I sent a text message to Jiang Heng.
"I know you're going to pick up Su Xiaoxiao. I'm back to my parents' house. Unless you come to pick me up today, I'm denied that I will not step into this wedding room again in the future." I regretted it after sending
.
I don’t know where I got the confidence.
dares to challenge Jiang Heng in front of Su Xiaoxiao like this.
But I'm already in a difficult situation.
can only pull the suitcase, like a wandering soul, walking aimlessly on the street.
I keep looking at my phone.
hope that Jiang Heng will send me a text message and tell me not to make trouble.
However, the phone was very quiet all day long.
I am a little self-deprecating. Su Xiaoxiao is back, Jiang Heng has no energy to waste a second of time on me.
Just as I crossed the street.
dink!
There is news coming in on the phone.
I didn't care about anything else and quickly opened it to read it.
"Be careful!"
There was a scream from somewhere.
I turned my head suddenly and felt that I was hit hard.
Until I fell to the ground, my head was still blank.
only remember not reading the text message yet.
I still held my phone tightly in my hand and reached in front of me with difficulty.
In the blood-red vision, I finally saw clearly.
is an advertising text message.
I feel cold all over my body, very cold.
is extremely noisy around.
makes me feel bad.
I still couldn't help but dial Jiang Heng's phone number.
beep...beep...beep...
is the moment it is connected.
I said with all my strength.
"Jiang Heng, I'm cold, I want to go home."
At the same time, a mechanized voice came from over there.
"Sorry, the call you are dialing is on the phone, please dial again later..."
My consciousness gradually dissipated in this voice.
04
When I was conscious again, I opened my eyes and found myself in the wedding room.
's eyes are close to the ground.
I was very confused, the impact during the car accident was so clear.
It's hard for me to convince myself that it's a dream.
I stood up with great effort and found myself becoming particularly short.
lowered his head and saw only a pair of plush toys, short legs,
. I finally walked to the mirror of my body and finally saw clearly that I actually possessed a teddy bear the size of a palm.
This toy bear was caught by Jiang Heng on the claw machine and the only gift I gave me.
I used to be a special baby this toy bear.
I didn’t expect that when I packed up my things, I would leave it at the foot of the sofa.
I looked at the toy bear in the mirror.
finally realized that the previous car accident was not a dream.
I'm really dead.
I don’t know why I returned to my wedding room with Jiang Heng after I died.
is also possessed by the toy bear.
05
I waited in the wedding room all night.
Until the next afternoon, I saw Jiang Heng taking Su Xiaoxiao into the wedding room.
I watched Jiang Heng and Su Xiaoxiao love each other in my carefully decorated house, including on the wedding bed I chose myself.
They seem to make up for all the relationships they have separated for the past five years.
The first time I knew that Jiang Heng would be so sexy and beautiful when he did that kind of thing with someone he liked.
Seeing them so loving with their own eyes, I thought I would be angry and painful.
What's amazing is that I'm not very uncomfortable.
Maybe it's because I'm dead.
Perhaps it is because after five years, I saw Jiang Heng’s happy smile again.
It looks very similar to the smile he smiled in the sun when he learned that Su Xiaoxiao was saved.
He should be very happy, just picking up a machine, and accidentally got rid of me completely.
06
Su Xiaoxiao is gentle and good at taking care of people.
Will get up early in the morning to prepare a rich breakfast for Jiang Heng.
When he is sent out, he will help him organize his tie and say goodbye to him.
Actually, I have done this before.
But every time I want to kiss Jiang Heng, he will avoid my lips in disgust.
I can only kiss his face.
At noon, Jiang Henghui drove back for half an hour just to have lunch with Su Xiaoxiao.
On night, Jiang Heng would take Su Xiaoxiao out for dinner and have a date by the way.
They will sweetly return to the wedding room with their hands in hand.
Almost every night, Jiang Heng loves Su Xiaoxiao.
is much more enthusiastic than when I was like a task at the beginning.
I feel very moved, this is what love should be like.
07
A week passes quickly.
Jiang Heng seemed to have completely forgotten me.
never mentioned me, I didn't even know if he knew I was dead.
I have been forced to be possessed by a teddy bear and can only move secretly in the house and dare not leave the house.
This made me clearly realize how considerate, gentle and patient Jiang Heng can be with the person he truly loves.
Su Xiaoxiao had nightmares. He would endure the sleepiness and hug her into his arms and comfort her quietly.
Su Xiaoxiao occasionally coughs, and he will ask her about her physical condition with great nervousness, wishing she could take her to the hospital immediately.
I remember when Jiang Heng was together, I had a fever of thirty-nine degrees.
Jiang Heng came back to see me lying on the bed, but just looked at me coldly, saying that he would leave after having social engagements in the evening.
If my best friend hadn't happened to come to see me, that time, I might have been dead.
My best friend often calls me stupid because of this, so why did she fall into Jiang Heng?
She also asked me where Jiang Heng is good, so I was so devoted to him.
I don’t know how to explain it. Sometimes I like someone, there is really no reason.
I can't figure out why Jiang Heng fell in love with him just because he handed me an umbrella in the rain.
08
Fortunately, I am dead, so I no longer have to worry about loving him too humbly and letting everyone laugh at him.
The only thing I feel guilty now is how sad my family would be when they learn that I was killed in a car accident.
I want to go home to meet my parents.
I tried various ways to get out, but I almost got taken away by a cat or dog before I walked out for a long time.
I was so scared that I quickly came back in shame.
I shouldn’t have wanted to leave because I couldn’t get Jiang Heng’s love, and to test whether Jiang Heng would be angry.
Otherwise, there would be no car accident and the death was miserable.
This may be God’s punishment for me.
I confess to God, I already know how outrageous I was wrong.
also thoroughly understands how much Jiang Heng loves Su Xiaoxiao.
Even in his dream, he would wake up by calling "Xiaoxiao".
After seeing Su Xiaoxiao sleep beside him, she would still hold up in the dark and keep looking at her affectionately.
is just a little strange when Jiang Heng occasionally.
will wake up in the middle of the night and then light a cigarette on the balcony with a cold face, but will not smoke it.
did not go back to sleep until the smoke burned out.
09
I can only hide helplessly in the corner every day, watching Jiang Heng and Su Xiaoxiao sitting intimately on the sofa, watching TV with their fingers connected.
They didn't say anything.
But that sweet atmosphere can make people suffocate.
Fortunately, I became a ghost, otherwise I would have to be angry to death again.
I don’t know how long they have to see how long they have to be loved.
That day, Su Xiaoxiao leaned in his arms.
suddenly got smudged by the thing on the sofa.
She took out the thing from the gap in the sofa.
is a platinum ring.
When I saw the ring, I felt a little sad.
It turns out that the engagement ring that Jiang Heng put in the secret of the sofa last year has been in the crack.
Su Xiaoxiao obviously stiffened when she saw the ring.
"Brother Heng, this is..."
Jiang Heng was also stunned for a moment when he saw it.
and then spoke coldly.
"Take it away."
A hint of joy flashed across Su Xiaoxiao's face.
pretends to hesitate.
Seeing this, Jiang Heng reached out and picked up the ring in Su Xiaoxiao's hand and threw it into the trash can.
When I watched Jiang Heng throw away the ring, there was no trace of turbulence on his face.
knew in his heart that he didn't care about this ring at all.
I am still stupid and I feel it’s a pity.
After all, this ring was customized by me specifically for someone to find, and it also carved with the abbreviations of my and his name.
Jiang Heng took it for two months and didn't know where to put it. I searched at home for several days but couldn't find it.
Now think about it, maybe he didn't want to wear it and deliberately hid it in the gap in the sofa.
Su Xiaoxiao asked understandingly: "What if Ye Xiao comes back to get it?"
Jiang Heng didn't know what he thought of, and frowned impatiently.
"No, she said she would not step into this place again."
said, and somehow, she pursed her lips and sniffed.
"Don't mention her name in the future."
My heart hurts.
I know Jiang Heng doesn’t like me, but he didn’t expect that he was already disgusted and didn’t even want to hear my name.
I realized with great clarity that when I left in anger, I hope Jiang Heng would have a little nervous action towards me, which was ridiculous.
Not to mention the message I sent to Jiang Heng when I ran away from home.
Jiang Heng saw the news at that time, maybe he was happier than anyone else, but I actually took the initiative to get out.
article comes from Zhihu "How to Smile"
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