text/Time Lele
Kento Suzuki mentioned in his "Interpersonal Interesting Talks" that the establishment of interpersonal relationships ultimately plays a decisive role in having a heart that is good at understanding others.
What does it mean to be good at understanding others' hearts?
is actually to maintain a state of thinking from the perspective of others. When you want to help your friends, colleagues or even relatives do something, you should first think about whether you would rather do it.
Do not do to others what you do not want others to do. If you are unwilling to do something yourself, don’t force others to do it.
Natsume Tori has a good saying: Humans have a strong sense of self-realization, so they must have the grace of accepting others in order to establish good interpersonal relationships.
If a person is petty in the process of getting along with others, or is always arrogant, then he will definitely not be able to have good interpersonal relationships.
Actually, think about it carefully. In daily life, people often use face to judge whether a person is easy to get along with.
If a person has a very gentle face, then people will think that she must be easy to get along with. On the contrary, if a person has a very fierce face, then people will think that she is not easy to get along with.
However, this kind of facial appearance may not be born. If you are willing to cultivate yourself in the later stage, you will also gain a kind of gentle temperament.
So how to achieve self-cultivation? Just keep the following two points in mind.
Do not cross the boundary
There is a must-have item for college students' dormitory life, which is the shade cloth hanging in front of the bed. The shade ability of this shade cloth has different levels from ordinary shade to thickened shade.
If the owner of the shading cloth is more concerned about the lighting or external influences, he will choose to thicken it.
If the owner of the shading cloth has a carefree personality and is not so sensitive to the external environment, then he will choose an ordinary model, which can only serve to block privacy. What is the function of the existence of a light-shielding cloth like
?
Some people will answer that it is for the purpose of shading light. Of course, this is also one of its functions, but in fact there is another hidden deep meaning behind it.
College is different from high school and junior high school. It is not a place for children near home to go to school, nor is it a place for children in the same town to go to school.
University is a place that brings together students from all over the world. Before everyone lived together, they didn’t know each other, and their living habits, daily routines and daily routines... were different.
However, when school starts, you always have to live in a dormitory. Everyone is very unfamiliar with it and there are still a few people living together, so it is inevitable that it will take some time to get started.
When each other is completely unfamiliar with each other, it needs to find a way to solve these problems.
At this time, the shade cloth plays a certain role.
When a person pulls up the shade cloth, it means that she has entered her own space. No matter whether he sleeps or is not sleeping, the people in the dormitory can no longer disturb him and cannot cross the "boundary" of the shade cloth.
, which does not cross the line, will greatly reduce conflicts.
In daily life, people should also learn from this principle, always pay attention to whether other people’s “blind-shading cloth” is pulled up, and always remind themselves not to cross this boundary at will.
You should know that many times, once you cross that boundary line, all appearances will often be torn apart, and both sides will reveal their nature and break the carefully decorated peace.
Do not force
An old saying goes, "Do not do to others what you do not want others to do to you." This is the traditional virtue of the Chinese nation and the essence of Chinese culture. People should learn and carry forward it.
However, people also need to keep making progress and thinking. Is the "don't do to others" just something they don't like?
Can you impose what you like and what you want on others?
The answer is no.
Although not all people get along with each other should be based on the other person's preferences, they must consider the other person's preferences appropriately.
Just like when you are studying, it is very common for students to make an appointment to go to the bathroom or have dinner together, because everyone's life rhythm is the same, and they have to solve personal problems in ten minutes between classes, so they can accompany each other.
However, after entering university or entering the workplace, people's life rhythm becomes different. Everyone has their own routines and schedules. It is not certain when to rest, when to work, or when to eat. At this time, you cannot force them to keep the same frequency as you.
In fact, not forcing others is a largely avoiding the emotions of self-contamination.
For example, when you want to invite your friend to go out to play with you, the other party rejects you and says, "There is no time tomorrow, let's go, I'll ask you out when the time comes." If you accept it calmly at this time, then your mood will not be affected.
In fact, everyone knows what "anno date" means. People who are familiar with it will stop and never mention it again.
If you start asking constantly at this time, "why" and "what is wrong"... Such topics will not only make the other person uncomfortable, but will also make you fall into unnecessary emotions.
For example: "Why didn't she play with me?" "Does she hate me?" Over time, it is very bad for both parties.
Therefore, in daily life, people should respect each other's habits and preferences, and do not force others to keep a life with themselves at the same frequency.
Time and Emotional Class:
When getting along with people, you must remember two principles: do not cross the boundaries and do not force them.
Because only by knowing how to respect and understand each other can we find a relatively comfortable social state.
Respect the other person means respecting yourself, and understanding the other person means understanding yourself. Only people who are not strong inside will always affect others. Therefore, remember to be a strong inside person, which will help to have good social relationships.
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