Hello Brother Dan! My husband and I have a second marriage. We both had their own unfortunate marriages before, and we negotiated it ourselves after the divorce. Our love life is normal, but every time I or him are in poor health, I will be unhappy. Because if I am in a bad healt

Hello Brother Dan! My husband and I have a second marriage. We both had their own unfortunate marriages before, and we negotiated it ourselves after the divorce.

Our love life is normal, but every time I or him are in poor health, I will be unhappy. Because if I am in a bad health or in a bad mood, I need his care and care, but he is very impatient and will not do his best. When I made an opinion, he would lose his temper. Even if I was exhausted and cried so hard that I was heartbroken, he would remain indifferent. Anyway, it would give people the feeling that they didn't want to give.

As for when he is in poor health, I will care about him, and he will not pay attention to me. If you ask a few more questions, you will get angry and don’t like to be disturbed.

So I feel that he can’t rely on what I really need. So what is the meaning of this marriage, or am I not doing well enough?

In short, it is also good when we don’t quarrel. As long as we quarrel, he will be very selfish and will say a lot of hurtful words.

I often reason with him, but it seems useless. As soon as the temper comes out, it is more important than anything else. This should be a "selfish" type.

I Breast is not good, my heart is not good, and I often have headaches. The doctor said that I can't be angry and I must always keep my mood happy.

But I am very irritable in those few days of every month, so he easily gets into trouble, and reminds me after being offended are useless. Continue to say hurtful words. Is such a person still suitable to be together?

Thank you for your trust in Brother Dan and say your heart. Today, I will help you answer your confusion.

Your love life is very good, but it feels very uncomfortable every time you get sick or quarrel.

When we were young, everyone was in relatively good health. As we grew older, the more problems we had, we needed more and more family care and company.

When you are sick, you are eager for your husband's care, but he is impatient with you. When a quarrel, he can't listen to what you said and says a lot of hurtful words, which will affect your mood and body.

But Brother Dan can feel that you still care about him in your heart. When he is sick, you will care about him. When there is conflict, your emotions are easily affected by his behavior.

Although you are second marriages, you have had their own misfortune marriages before, but after the divorce, they all talked about them by yourself, which means you have a emotional foundation and can understand some of the misfortunes in your own marriages.

So, I suggest you communicate with him more calmly.

Your communication should not happen when each other is in bad health or is angry.

You say that your love life is very good in normal circumstances, so communicate with him more under normal circumstances.

No one likes to be criticized.

In psychology, people are prone to defensive psychology when they are criticized and criticized. At this time, some people will protect themselves by attacking the other party.

You said that he is a "selfish type", does not know how to care about people, and it is more rigid in dealing with problems.

So when you communicate with him, don’t confront him head-on, don’t keep saying the truth, try to speak gently, pay attention to some expression skills, and know how to act spoiled or show weakness appropriately, so that he can accept it more easily and be better for your health.

First, first affirmed some of his behavior in time and said, "Thank you for taking care of me when I was sick."

Then, tell him what you think, you feel uncomfortable when you are sick, and you are eager to get more care and care from your husband. I feel distressed when you see him sick, and I hope he can get better as soon as possible.

At the same time, needs to let him know your current physical condition, poor breasts, poor heart, and frequent headaches. The doctor said he should not be angry.

What is important is that makes him feel that you are not criticizing him, but because feelings are mutual, and you hope to live a good future with him and make your life happier.

Of course, the ideal state is that through multiple communications, his attitude and behavior have changed.

But after all, your relationship pattern has been fixed for many years, and it is difficult to change the deep-rooted concept in a short period of time.

If he still loses his temper with you for a long time, you need to face a choice: is important for your own health, or is it important to continue living with him?

If you still don’t want to give up on it, then what you need to adjust more is your mentality.

There is a saying that goes, if you have a good attitude, you won’t be so tired.

Especially when you are very irritable, try to keep a certain distance from him, don’t get along too closely, and then focus on other meaningful things to cultivate yourself and cultivate your character.

Don’t take the other person too seriously, treating yourself well is the bottom line.

If you still live physically and mentally exhausted while having him, and are worried about your health, then you need to stop the loss in time and separate, which is also a wise choice.

National second-level psychologist Sudan