An important criterion for the relationship between people is: to get along with each other.
No matter friendship, family or love, the uncomfortable relationship between them is actually a kind of consumption. As an adult, rather than internalizing in an uncomfortable relationship, it is better to wave goodbye.
I wrote this sentence in my circle of friends:
Any relationship that consumes your life should be abandoned. You should give up what you can't bear, and you should give up what you can't let go.
Only when you get along with someone who is comfortable with you can do what you like can you feel happy.
The circle is different, so there is no need to force
Everyone's circle is actually different. Friends I got together in the past may not be able to really talk about it together after experiencing changes in the world.
After I resigned from a private school, I kept in touch with a former colleague. She changed school to continue working, while I chose to work freely.
Sometimes, we will come out to have a cup of tea together. She would tell me about intrigues in school. I just listened blindly and had no desire to communicate.
Slowly, I always feel that a party like ours is a waste of time, and it is better to have a walk alone.
Sometimes, when she asks me out for a party, I will ask for various reasons to refuse. After two invitations, she also understood what I thought and gradually reduced contact with me.
We used to have intersections in life and work, so it is still very comfortable to communicate. But after I left the job, I stayed away from the school environment and didn’t dare to be interested in these intrigues, so sometimes she complained to me, and I felt that the burden was added to my heart. Originally, I wanted to have a relaxed feeling when I got together with my colleagues, but I didn’t expect to make things difficult for myself.
Actually, think about it. Different circles, there is really no need to strengthen the fusion. If you don’t like a party, you don’t attend; if you don’t want to talk about topics, you can avoid them; if you don’t want to meet someone, you don’t have to meet.
consumes your people and things, be sure to leave
Two people together, the most important thing is to be comfortable. What I really like is also very beautiful.
More than a few years ago, I had an internal relationship. At that time, I was only in my twenties and was full of fantasy about love.
Fall in love with a man who is six or seven years older than me. He runs his own company and has a chain store.
In terms of love, I am a relatively devoted person. As long as I determine it myself, I will dive into it. We dated for two years, but the second year was basically torture ourselves.
His job is always very busy, and we don't have the time to date normally like other couples.
The longer you spend together, the more you feel lost. This feeling of loss made me feel very uncomfortable. I wanted to let go, but I was very unwilling to accept it. I repeatedly doubted myself and tossed it over and over again, and the glory of confidence was gone on my face.
Although I knew that the other party didn't care about me so much, but I was reluctant to make a decision. When I felt sad, I locked myself in a room and cried silently.
After several months of lows, I proposed to break up. Although he knew that his heart was very painful, he drove to me, but I chose not to see me again. Goodbye means another compromise, so it simply disappears.
So many years have passed, and sometimes when I think of it occasionally, I can still feel the heart-wrenching pain and want to hug the former self.
After experiencing failed relationships, I gradually understood: if you consume your own feelings, you should actually stop the loss in time. Instead of wasting time, it is better to start over. Pain is temporary. After the pain, the scars slowly heal and we will have a new life.
Instead of engaging in a relationship, it is better to make a decision bravely.
Being with people who are comfortable with each other, they are particularly at ease
Some people say that the greatest luck in life: when I was in school, I met a good teacher, and after work, I met a good master, and after getting married, I met a good partner.
Yeah, but not everyone is so lucky.
We cannot choose our birth, nor can we make everyone like us, but we can choose what kind of people to make friends with and to start a marriage with.
is with uncomfortable friends, and I feel anxious and uneasy. And being with people who are comfortable with each other is open-minded.
No matter friends, colleagues or lovers, it is the most important thing to get along easily and comfortably. We don’t need to pretend or deliberately flatter us together.
Really good relationship is effortless.
I once saw a story in an article:
Two eggs were very good friends before they were hatched. Later, a small crocodile and a small bird hatched.
They used to be friends, but they couldn't get along with each other afterwards. Birds like insects, and crocodiles like meat. Birds are born to fly, and crocodiles swim on the shore.
The sky and the earth will never intersect.
Some people are used to say goodbye; some things are used to experience.
The rest of our lives is very expensive, we have to be with people who are comfortable with each other and do things for sex.
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