On Douyin, I have watched a video like this:
"Boy: Do you love me? _p5br _p5br _span3 _span0
br7 span0
br7span _span0
boys: who loves me
girls:? I ah
boys: to link
girl: I ......Love... you.
Boy: Why are you? Do you not love me.
Here: I know you still ask."
This is like us in life,Obviously I already have the answer in my heart, but I still have to keep asking it over and over again. Knowing that he is "moth fighting the fire", he still chooses to be crazy about love.
Schopenhauer said, "Anyone who says'I love you' must first have a complete "I" character. If there is no'I' character,'I love you' would not Existence."
To love someone should be unreserved, but you must have yourself. You can also be enthusiastic and proactive, but you must build on the basis of contacts, otherwise the outcome of wishful thinking is destined to disappoint.
01
of the former does not require
feelings, the former seems to be A thorn stuck in each other's heart, I can't swallow it or pull it out.
even something,Many people have done this: in order to prove that the other party loves themselves, ask the other party to cut off all contact with the ex, delete all contact information, it seems that this will erase everything.
But in fact, it’s useless to say for those who are interested, and it’s useless for those who don’t.
Some readers once shared a story:
when she stole her boyfriend, but he always contacted her friend for the first time. It is to give the other party daily necessities. The boyfriend only admits that he is a normal friend. Due to his behavior, he promises not to contact him again; She finally admitted that she was an ex-girlfriend, and the two parties were in trouble, and broke off with each other again;
Soon after, she found on social platforms that they secretly followed both parties and set privacy permissions. .
She said that this time she really didn't even have the desire to ask. Because no matter whether the other party has a relationship, the previous guarantee is invalid.
To be honest,This result is not surprising to me, because this is also a mistake that most of us are easy to make: because of love, we take the initiative to ask the other party to do something, but we ignore it. The request is different from what the other party thinks.
The candy that I asked for was indeed candy, but not sweet.
Not to mention, a good predecessor should look dead.
If the other person really loves you, he doesn't need you to ask too much, he will naturally understand your sadness, willing to pamper you, and make you feel cared and safe.
People who don’t love you, no matter how much you ask, you will only be perfunctory, so why bother to be boring?
True love should be an expression from the heart, not a compelling compromise. It's all things that you know well, since people don't want to give it, then don't force it. Don't let it go, and each one is well, it is not a kind of perfection.
02
love do not expect
feelings,Everyone must understand a truth: those who love you are always afraid of giving you not enough, and those who do not love you are afraid that you will ask too much.
A newly married couple next to him is clamoring for a divorce.
This fuse is not a big deal. The two went out to play with their friends, and everyone held hands. The girl hoped that the boy could hold her hand.
For the first time, the boy just pulled it symbolically, and soon let it go. When the girl raised it for the second time, the boy was obviously unhappy and did not answer or respond.
In the end, everyone bought a drink, and friends gave their wife the first bite. He was the only one who had a drink. He didn't take care of his wife's emotions until he returned home.
Wife is out of emotion, and he just yelled:
span1sp_span3
span1sp
_span0 That night, the girl cried and sent me a voice saying:
"Did I ask too much?"
0 I don’t know how she should comfort meI know her request is not excessive, but for the other party, this request may be an extravagant request.
Because when a person does things, he does not care about your feelings and is indifferent to you. In fact, it is already a kind of "invisible violence." sad.
Some people say, "The sugar you ask for is different from the sugar you ask for." This sentence itself is hypocritical, but "being loved" does not require you to go. Reach for something, because you get it, is effortless.
In the relationship, many people ask for it throughout their lives, but true love always goes both ways. When you doubt whether the other person loves you or not, the answer is no. Therefore, you must recognize a person's mind at any time, and don't wrong yourself because of love, and it's difficult for the other person.
03
not take the initiative, nor flinch
I have always felt,Feelings need courage, but they can't force it. It is never a unilateral effort, but a close game.
Therefore, don't expect too much from anyone. If you want something, try your best to earn it; and realize what you want to do.
When you have the ability to make yourself happy, you will not suffer from gains or losses.
Some people say that if you want to get something, you have to let go and guard the opposite before you can really get it.
In fact, feelings are the same. Whether it is love, a gift, or an ex, don’t ask for it. Learn to let go, stay independent, and live out the nobility, you can have more.
For the rest of your life, love yourself more. In this world, everyone who leaves will live as usual. Even if you love a few bad people, it will not prevent you from finding a better one.
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