01
Cen Xiulan did a special way of medical care in her life, but she never wanted to say goodbye to her family’s life and death. …
Cen Xiulan, born in the spring of 1950, looks and personality like spring flowers, beautiful and pleasant. She has a happy family, and her parents do everything they can to make her worry-free. As an adult, she entered the big hospital in the city and became an angel in white.
After someone introduced, she married Lin Guodong, a foreigner who worked as a technician in a state-owned factory. In the third year after marriage, Cen Xiulan gave birth to her son Lin Xiaoqiang. The arrival of the son has made the already loving couple feel stronger.
In order to strive for a better future for his wife and children, Lin Guodong went south to do business under the wave of reform and opening up.
Cen Xiulan lives alone with her young son. It is rare for a family to see each other several times a year.
At the beginning, she was reluctant to leave her son to the elderly to take care of, so she took him to work by herself. But she is often too busy to take care of her son in time. Fortunately, her enthusiastic colleagues are willing to help, so that her son is not left unattended, which makes her apologetic to her son.
later,She had to send her son to her natal home, where she was usually taken care of by her parents, and she had a chance to get along with the child when she was off.
For a long time like this, my son is not close to her. As a mother, she was sad and helpless, but there was no better way. After her son went to kindergarten, she took him back to her side, and the relationship between mother and child was slowly restored.
02
There was a time when his son fell asleep and was temporarily notified to work overtime. Cen Xiulan thought that there should be no problem if her son fell asleep, so she went out gently.
Unexpectedly, my son woke up in the middle of the night and cried when he couldn't see his mother. He ran to the yard barefoot to find his mother...
was woken up by his neighbor Call, she hurried home just now. Afterwards, she was scared after thinking about it. What if her son runs into the street and is abducted by traffickers? Or what's the accident? She felt that she was not a qualified mother and owed her son too much.
The son’s parent meeting and school activities are often attended by the parents on her behalf. Because of work, she can't help herself most of the time.
Fortunately, his son is sensible. At first he was emotional, but later he also understood his mother's hard work, and in turn comforted his mother.
The more sensible his son,Cen Xiulan's heart is more uncomfortable. Which mother does not want to give her children more company? But she couldn't do it.
Husband has gone south for business in recent years, and his career has fluctuated, but he is unwilling to give up. They quarreled for her son, but in the end she compromised.
Cen Xiulan turned her mind to her son, with guilt for her son, she used all her strength to love him: take her son to travel and buy him favorite toys and models. Materially, the son never lags behind.
Both her parents advised her not to spoil the child too much. Cen Xiulan also thought about this issue, but couldn't control her feelings. Fortunately, his son is struggling, although he is "rich," but he doesn't have any problems with him.
Seeing her hard work, his son quietly saved the pocket money she gave and bought her gifts on her birthday.
Mother and son are two people, deeply affectionate.
Later, her husband failed in business and owed huge debts. In the following years, Cen Xiulan used her salary subsidy to pay her husband's debts, and her family's living standards also fell sharply.
Nevertheless, she would rather suffer herself, put her son first, and cultivate his son to study and learn skills.
His son graduated from university and has an enviable designer job in Hangzhou.After her son got married and gave birth to children, Cen Xiulan also officially retired and began to enjoy the retirement life she had earned for a lifetime.
The son who became a family and established a business, is more filial to Cen Xiulan. He knew that it was not easy for his mother to walk all the way. Whenever he had time, he would take his mother to travel and take her to admire the beautiful rivers and mountains of the motherland.
Happy time is always short, and Cen Xiulan's body is abnormal before the good days have passed.
03
Span 13span will travel with his son in Chengdu this autumn. Due to the change of weather, she was a little unwell. She originally thought of taking a good rest to recover, but she kept running a fever. Later, the results of the examination at the hospital caused her and her son to panic: esophageal cancer .
Fortunately, it was not too late. After the son took her back to Hangzhou, he had an operation in the best hospital. The postoperative condition was good, and a few months later, she resumed her normal life.
As a health care worker, she has seen the pain of countless patients for decades and the helplessness of their families in the face of huge medical expenses.
This time she was hospitalized, she also experienced the pain firsthand: wound pain, ventilator, intubation, long-term maintenance of a posture,I can't stand up. Young people can't stand it, let alone an elderly man like her.
She finally understands why many patients resist treatment after staying in the hospital for a long time, and keep asking for death... Punishment'." This is a sentence often said by the family of patients.
Because the family members saw the suffering of the family members, they felt it was too tormenting. But when that day comes, the desire to survive is still to overcome fear, even if it is smashed and bankrupted.
Cen Xiulan originally thought she was used to seeing life and death, so she would look down on it. I didn't expect that when things happened to me, I still couldn't face it calmly. The pain during the hospital operation also scared her.
In mid-September of the following year, Cen Xiulan was accompanied by her husband to the hospital for review. It turned out that the "good recovery" after the operation was only a temporary illusion. Cancer cells have metastasized. Nowadays, cancer cells are found in the liver, pancreas, and stomach.
After receiving the results of the review, Cen Xiulan did not lose weight like an ordinary patient, but her body seemed to be filled with lead and weighed 10,000 catties. The doctor didn't directly tell her how much time was left, but she knew that in such a serious situation, it was only about half a year at most.
There are too many onsets and it is no longer suitable for surgery. You can only take chemotherapy or other conservative treatments. This may be able to accompany your family for a long time. If you have to go to the operating table,Life and death are unpredictable.
After experiencing the initial suffering, when her mood recovered, Cen Xiulan looked a little away, but her husband looked sad.
Although their husbands and wives have been stumbling over the past few decades, it is rare for them to stay together for such a long way. In the old age, many unsatisfactory feelings in young people are relieved, cherishing each other's shorter and shorter time.
After the son and daughter-in-law knew the results of the follow-up examination, the son did not hesitate: "I will be hospitalized tomorrow, even if there is only a chance to try it, not to mention that the medical technology is so advanced now, there will always be a way."
Cen Xiulan intends to tell her son that she wants to take conservative treatment. But looking at her son's tearful eyes, she was afraid that his son would be even more sad, so she didn't say anything.
She also wants to stay with her son for a few more years, but if the son doesn't give up, she must persist.
04
At the end of September, Cen Xiulan was hospitalized soon under the arrangement of Lin Xiaoqiang.
But things did not go as smoothly as he expected. The doctor said that the cancer cells spread too fast and the range was too wide to undergo surgery, not to mention that his mother's body might not be able to withstand such a high intensity. Surgery.Chemotherapy can be done first, and we can talk about the situation later. But according to the patient's condition, she may live about another six months.
If you don’t want to endure the pain of chemotherapy, you can also take conservative treatment and go through the last four or five months of your life without increasing the suffering of the patient.
Four to five months, how is it possible? Lin Xiaoqiang did not accept such a result.
But he found several experts in succession, and they all came to this conclusion. He is not a hairy boy, no matter how unwilling to accept it in his heart, he also knows that his mother's condition is serious.
At this time, his wife also advised him, or else, just listen to the doctor and take conservative treatment. Maybe the mother can live longer.
His wife’s words are not unreasonable, but Lin Xiaoqiang has only one thought in his mind: save his mother at all costs.
His mother is his god. When he was young, his father was away all year round, and only he and his mother depended on each other.
He remembered that his petite mother was climbing upstairs alone with a heavy rice noodle bag on her back, her legs trembling all the time, and he even worried that her mother's leg would break like a telephone pole. So he was young, trying hard to hold the bag behind his mother, both of them were tired and sweaty.
Mother is very picky about herself, and she is reluctant to buy anything, but every time she takes him out, she will definitely buy him something delicious and fun.In those years when my mother helped my father pay off the debt, she worked overtime every day, and when she was not at work, she went to help deliver goods...
Mother’s thin shoulders carried too much burden. Lin Xiaoqiang swore since he was sensible that he must let his mother enjoy the blessings when he grows up.
But his mother is only 67 years old, how can he be willing to let his mother choose conservative treatment and leave him forever after a few months?
For Lin Xiaoqiang, he is not worthy of being a son of man if he can't save him.
Lin Xiaoqiang found many hospitals, and finally one hospital agreed to operate on his mother, but the cost was at least 600,000 yuan, and the operation risk was very high.
Although the doctor’s words worried Lin Xiaoqiang, he would rather fight: if the operation is successful, the mother has hope to live longer. If it fails, at least he did his best.
Since his fate is like this, he will not leave much regret. But without surgery, he could not count the days and watched his mother step by step towards death.
05
and 13span’s wife still do not need to take the surgery, she still does not need to take the surgeryThere is no need to endure too much pain, and their husband and wife can also reduce the financial burden.
In the past few years, the family has spent a lot of money. From the mother-in-law's last operation to now, a lot of money has been spent at home, and their savings are gone. The loan guaranteed by Lin Xiaoqiang for his classmates still went wrong. The bank has come to the door several times and said that it will sue... The expenses of the whole family add up to a large sum of money.
If mother-in-law wants surgery, they can only find another way. Six hundred thousand is not a small number, and the cost of treatment after surgery is even less visible. Although part of it can be reimbursed, the ratio is too low.
More importantly, maybe so much money is thrown down, and the result is still a shortage of people and money.
The father also agreed to conservative treatment. In addition to the factors mentioned by his daughter-in-law, he also felt distressed for his wife's suffering and worried that his wife would not be able to survive the operation. I can imagine that there is still a glimmer of hope, but Lin Xiaoqiang can't cry about his dissatisfaction with his mother, they can only agree.
If you continue to stop him, let's not say whether he can be persuaded, even if persuaded, this will be a thorn between them in the future, and no one will feel bad.
Lin Xiaoqiang arranged for his mother to transfer the house and mortgage the house to a private person to raise money in time.
while in hospital waiting for surgery,Cen Xiulan looked at the painful look of the severely ill patients around her, and she once again had the idea of giving up the operation.
her son persuaded her. He said that the doctor told him that if the operation is successful, he will survive another five years and the probability of recurrence in the future is very small, so that the family can stay together.
Cen Xiulan is tempted, who can calmly face the eternal separation from her relatives? As long as there is a glimmer of hope, always give it a try, just like a carp leaping over a dragon gate.
Regarding his mother's idea of conservative treatment, Lin Xiaoqiang felt that it was because his mother was sympathetic to his difficulties and did not want to burden him any more. At this time, his mother was still thinking about him, which strengthened his determination to perform surgery on his mother.
On October 10th, Cen Xiulan was pushed onto the operating table.
The family waited anxiously for four hours outside the operating room, but finally ushered in the bad news. The mother failed to get off the operating table...
, A miracle will happen to oneself, but unfortunately, it will never come to him. But the reality defeated Lin Xiaoqiang.
Although he had considered the risks of surgery, he was lucky, and he was not really ready to accept this result.
06
mother's funeral,It was his wife and father who were dealing with it, and he had been trapped in self-blame. He regretted his insistence at the beginning. If he listened to his wife, it would not be the result now. It was he who killed his mother.
This idea made him spend all his time drinking and drenching his sorrows, and he cried out of his filial piety when he met people. He was unwilling to deal with the debt problem, causing the money borrowed from private individuals to fail to be repaid in time. The creditor sent people to collect the debt every day, which made the house smug.
Whenever I think of the husband’s stubbornness, the wife can’t help nagging, and the couple often quarrel because of this. In anger, the wife had to move back to her natal home.
Although Lin Xiaoqiang's father finally agreed to the operation with a glimmer of hope, after his wife left, he regretted it and felt resentment for his son: if he didn't have the operation, he could still be with him for several months. But now there is no last word left. He went back to his hometown by himself, lest he couldn't help complaining about his son.
In this situation at home, Lin Xiaoqiang is even more malaise.
One afternoon at the end of December, in grief and indignation, he stabbed a thug who had repeatedly come to the door to collect debts with a knife, causing a murder...
This three-generation home ,Broken.
Some people say that if Lin Xiaoqiang is not obsessed with his mother, and the understanding of filial piety is almost obsessive, the old mother may adopt conservative treatment in the final stage, and the outcome may be better.
is precisely because of the fathers of Lin Xiaoqiang, Cen Xiulan and Lin Xiaoqiang,They did not dare to face the reality that Cen Xiulan's life was about to come to an end, and stubbornly asked for medical intervention that could not be effective. In the end, Cen Xiulan suddenly left. Lin Xiaoqiang's wish fell through. There was also a estrangement between him and his father and his wife, and eventually it was even more unfortunate. Thing.
We do not judge this.
Only when things really happen to us, we will make the most true reaction. Today's views are based on one's own position.
As a medical worker with decades of work experience, Cen Xiulan cannot calmly face the life and death decision, let alone us ordinary people.
Nowadays, if a couple has to raise four elderly people, the situation may be more serious. If we start death education from now on, we may be able to reduce our fear of death.
When one day manpower is no longer available, perhaps we can calmly face other choices.
Because the fear of death is more terrifying than death itself.
With this preparation, we will also cherish every day with our family more and face life with a more positive attitude.
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