Jane Austen once said: "Marriage, only considering family background is absurd; not considering family background is stupid."
Family status refers to not only wealth, but also ideas , Family style, and even every aspect of the other’s family, a little bit of detail will determine the happiness of your marriage in some respects.
The better the family background, the stronger the cohesion of the marriage, the easier your marriage is to be happy. Conversely, the greater the difference, the greater the possibility of problems in your marriage.
People with different levels of cognition see the world differently, and they look at problems from different perspectives. The lower the level of cognition, the more stubborn.
Phoenix man, is regarded as a label in the marriage and love market. A label is not only the best identification of a person's identity, but also the greatest limitation of a person. Most men who have struggled from the countryside can hardly escape the label of a phoenix man. The worse the family conditions back then, the more energy and thoughts expended in the process of transforming into a golden phoenix, the more typical the Phoenix male's label.
Although some people think that the Phoenix man has a lot of inferiority, but in the eyes of many urban women, the Phoenix man is mature and reliable, has a stable personality, and has a strong ability to withstand stress. He is an excellent candidate for a husband.
However, they often ignore the impact of their native family on a person’s cognition. People with poor ambitions and short ambitions are sometimes trapped in their own hearts. The lack of pattern.
01 Women’s liking for men begins with worship
For many Phoenix men, they are marrying behind their family. If you marry him, you are equal to marrying his parents, siblings, and church. Brother sister-in-law, seven aunts and eight aunts.
For example, in the TV series " in the name of the people ", Qi Tongwei , as a phoenix man who came out of the poor and remote areas, became the head of the Provincial Public Security Department, and the villagers kept coming for help.But he basically refused to come, so some people even humiliated him: Do you want to get the wild dog in your village to be a police dog in the public security department?
Phoenix man, as the hope of the whole village, after his fortune, while thinking of benefiting those who once helped him, he was afraid that his cheese would be shaken, so he became more and more refined and self-interested.
And the reason why many women fall is because Phoenix men have more or less qualities that attract them. For example, in "The Name of the People", 梁璐 is in the same Wu When the teacher talked about his marriage with Qi Tongwei, he said: I will not divorce him, at most he will bully me by himself; if I divorce him, more people will bully me.
Although Qi Tongwei is unclear, his power makes Liang Lu unable to let go. Zhang Man's fascination with He Chong (pseudonym) was because of his academic qualifications. The first time he met, he had an appointment at a noodle restaurant. Originally, Zhang Man was a little unhappy, but he still went to hear that He Chong was a postdoctoral fellow.
Zhang Man is a pretty person. There is no shortage of money at home. The only thing is that she can't go to school. She re-enrolled for a year before barely entering an ordinary undergraduate. Therefore, as soon as the introducer said that He Chong is a Ph.D. and teaches in the university, Zhang Man's eyes immediately shined. People are like this, and there is nothing wrong with it.
After meeting for the first time, He Chong briefly introduced his situation. There are three older sisters on him. In order for him to go to school, none of the three older sisters went to school. As the only one in his family who has obtained the qualifications to study, he spent almost all of his energy on his studies in the past few years, so his relationship has been blank so far.
Regarding the past, He Chong-yue said lightly, and Zhang Man's brain made up for a lot of the hardships on his way to school, so after admiring it, she felt a sense of admiration in her heart.
After going back, Zhang Man thought a lot, if she and He Chong really became, her appearance plus He Chong’s brain would improve her genes properly.So she decided to take the initiative.
Probably the father who followed business with him since childhood, Zhang Man has always been an activist, and soon she won He Chong.
02 Surprise discovered by accident: gold always shines
Women have a little admiration for men, and Zhang Man is more and more fond of He Chong. He feels that he is not only gentle, but also generous to himself. There is no childishness in the rural children that their parents worry about.
If you must find a shortcoming for He Chong, it is that he doesn't like to socialize. Fortunately, this is what Zhang Man is best at. Other people's love is more romantic and poetic, and Zhang Man, as a businessman, even talks about feelings very pragmatically. Although he does not work in school, China is a society of human relations. In order for He Chong to have a better development in school, Zhang Man began to introduce him to some friends, consciously or unconsciously.
Once had a meal with seniors who also worked in colleges, Zhang Man learned from their chat that He Chong not only allocated a house in the school, but also helped his spouse with work.
In the past, Zhang Man only thought He Chong was excellent, but he didn't expect that his excellentness could benefit himself, which would make Zhang Man happy. Zhang Man doesn’t care about the house. After all, she has several sets under her name, but she is really surprised and happy to solve the job. You must know how proud it is to be a university teacher for a scumbag. So since then, she has often used this incident to chat with her friends.
In the second year of dating, Zhang Man and He Chong's relationship has gradually improved. Zhang Man said that his parents have seen He Chong many times, so it is better to go to He Chong’s house during the National Day holiday. Look.
From getting along with He Chong, Zhang Man learned that he has a deep affection for his sisters and has always wanted to repay them well. So Zhang Man simply planned to use this opportunity to help He Chong realize it. When preparing gifts, Zhang Man planned to give He Chong’s mother and three sisters a gold bracelet. After He Chong learned that he repeatedly said that it was too expensive and asked her not to Expensive. But Zhang Man waved his hand disapprovingly and said: "I am a love house and a wu,Compared to this little thing I gave, you are the real gold that shines! "
03 Stay with me, but there is another picture
Although the conditions in He Chong's hometown are so poor that Zhang Man can't accept it, I think that he is the person I like. Of course, as soon as he got home, Zhang Man enthusiastically greeted the future mother-in-law and elder sisters.
Although the first visit was a big deal, they didn't seem to buy it very much and were cold-hearted towards Zhang Man.
In the evening, several older sisters pulled her aside and asked her what she liked about her younger brother. Zhang Man said cheerfully about He Chong's many advantages, but the older sisters’ faces were not. Without a lot of smiles, the more outspoken eldest sister even dropped a sentence: "Are the girls in the city so embarrassed?"
Zhang Man has always been a refreshing person. In her opinion, it is not inappropriate to like someone to express boldly, but He Chong's family does not think so.
learned that Zhang Man only has After a bachelor’s degree, He Chong’s mother directly stated that she was not worthy of her son. Her ideal daughter-in-law’s education should be at least a master’s degree. He Chong’s eldest sister even said that unscrupulous girls like Zhang Man would bully her younger brother in the future. So I don’t agree with them staying together.
If she can understand that her academic qualifications are disliked, then where do she start talking about unscrupulous means? Finally, He Chong directly said what was in his heart, and he asked Zhang Man: "You are in a hurry I came to see my family and bought such expensive gifts just to please them, and want to marry me sooner, and then go to university as a teacher? "
At this point, Zhang Man reacted. It turned out that He Chong had been guarding herself. She was not worried about the risk of "marrying down", but He Chong had already worried about taking advantage of him. Although she admired study very much. A good person also respects the profession of university teacher, but she never thought about giving up her career. He Chong's worry is really ridiculous.
It is said that girls must visit their in-laws before they get married. Zhang Man is very fortunate that he has come in advance, giving her the opportunity to stop losses in time.
04 The Three Views of Long-Term Feelings
Some people compare human cognition to a huge sinkhole, arranged in a funnel. The more you go down, the less you see, the fewer opportunities, and the more you feel social injustice and anger. The more you go up, the more you see, the more opportunities you have, and the more you feel that the world is beautiful and the scenery is infinite.
As the saying goes, the next stupidity is not the best wisdom. Those who are stuck at the bottom of the cognitive funnel cannot see the scenery of upper-level cognition, so they can't understand many of their practices. They will only "save the abdomen of a gentleman with the heart of a villain."
There is a saying: "Different levels, do not need to be strong."
Economically, the probability that two people with similar three views can be created is even greater. In other words, the two people are more likely to be in the end when they are in love, and they are more likely to be happy after marriage. Conversely, if there is a big gap between the parties, there will be many moments that cannot be empathized, and even if you want to understand, you will have many misunderstandings.
Hormone decides to fall in love at first sight, dopamine decides forever, adrenal glands decide not to act, self-esteem decides who speaks first, and finally, reality decides who leaves first and who leaves first. The three views are different, and there is no need to blend in, and the hearts of the people are different, and there is no need to walk together. After all, marriage has to pay attention to the right person, people with different levels of cognition, forget it.
picture comes from the Internet, invaded and deleted.
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