People often say that "marriage depends on family background" and "marriage pays attention to the right person", which seems to be an old idea, but in fact it makes sense.
In the TV series " golden years ", the heroine Jiang Nansun is a wealthy daughter born with a golden spoon. And his first love boyfriend Zhang Anren, although tall, handsome and talented, is a phoenix man from a poor background.
Jiang Nansun only wanted love, so she rebelled against her parents and chose to be with Zhang Anren without hesitation.
But this kind of love was soon broken by reality. With Jiang Nansun’s father going bankrupt, Zhang Anren’s nature was immediately exposed. In order to protect himself, he avoided it for the first time.
The ending of Jiang Nansun and Zhang Anren’s love, Zhu Suosuo said very reasonable: "When you are in love, why are you poor, weird, weak and hesitant, cold and proud, these seem to be unique. Different advantages. But once you live together, it may not be."
Women cannot marry. It is not because of greed for vanity, but because the mentality will be unbalanced. There is a saying: "Different levels, you don't have to be strong."
This is the case in making friends, especially in the relationship. Different circles have different ideas and pursuits. Two people who don't agree with the three views and whose paces are inconsistent, when they start to love each other, they will eventually drift away.
Never overestimate love. Differences in family conditions and differences in life concepts will become catalysts for the breakdown of marriages over time.
01 The first visit is empty-handed
Zhang Ting's (pseudonym) father died of illness in the second year of high school. Although he grew up in a single-parent family, his mother took over the company after his father left. Not bad.
Zhang Ting talked about two love affairs in college but failed. After joining work, she met her current boyfriend Liu Ming (pseudonym).
According to Zhang Ting, Liu Ming is not only handsome,More importantly, he is very inspirational. After graduating from a rural family, he took the public examination for three consecutive years and was the first in the written examination. Although the first two interviews were squeezed out, he proved himself with strength on the third time and succeeded. Landed.
Although her daughter finds Liu Ming's tenacity to be very attractive, her mother faintly feels uneasy. Looking at this alone, she is worried that Liu Ming will end up hurting her daughter, just like those Phoenix men who have not reached their goals by any means.
There is a Romeo and Juliet effect in psychology, that is, the more the parents oppose the love, it will have a positive catalytic effect.
The relationship between Zhang Ting and Liu Ming has become stronger even under the obstacles of his mother. Zhang Ting even told his mother that his father was born as a poor boy in the countryside, and the counterattack succeeded in a different way, so it was not all Rural boys are all Phoenix males, so their mothers should not be prejudiced against Liu Ming.
On the National Day last year, Zhang Ting took the initiative to take Liu Ming home to play. Liu Ming spoke standard Mandarin, spoke generously and made people feel comfortable, but Zhang Ting’s mother always felt something was wrong, etc. She reacted only after he left, and when she first visited the future mother-in-law, he was actually empty-handed.
Mother immediately reminded Zhang Ting: "Why don't you come to the door empty-handed for the first time? Such a man is either too stingy, or he doesn't put our family in his eyes."
But Zhang Ting did not I feel that my mother is making a fuss too much. What I like is Liu Ming's informal personality. That kind of man with a blunt head and brain makes people feel disgusted.
Real gold is not afraid of fire. Liu Ming will give the answer to whether his daughter is sincere. If he blindly opposes it, it will only make the daughter's rebellious psychology worse, so the mother decided to deal with it coldly.
02 Happiness comes suddenly
Sure enough, Zhang Ting's love has been in full swing for a year, but the passion finally faded, and there was even a sign of flameout. For a while, my mother saw that she was always worried and she didn't care about her home. After asking carefully, she realized that Liu Ming didn't contact her much.
I thought that the relationship would end as I expected, but one day Zhang Ting suddenly told her mother with excitement: "Mom, Liu Ming proposed to me. He is not breaking up, but planning a proposal!"
This is what happened. After 10 months of dating, they started talking about marriage. But Liu Ming looked sad and said that his family members urged him to get married, but they could not help him buy a wedding house, so Zhang Ting said that she could use her house to get married. But Liu Ming was not happy, thinking that it would hurt the man's face. Later, somehow, he became cold, and Zhang Ting thought he was going to break up with himself.
As a result, when Zhang Ting was in despair, Liu Ming and his friends prepared a grand marriage proposal. Liu Ming said that he had struggled with his poverty, and now he has figured it out that he can temporarily use Zhang Ting’s house to get married. In the future, he will work hard to make up his own wedding room to compensate her...
Girls are born to love romance, Liu The sudden marriage proposal quickly made Zhang Ting dizzy. She felt that she could meet a man like Liu Ming who cared about her dignity.
Seeing her daughter immersed in this joy, the mother is still unhappy. There is always a feeling that her daughter is cheated and is still helping to count the money, but she still cannot find any flaws. So I had to agree to my daughter’s marriage, but the bride price must be available, and it would cost 188,000.
03 The bride price is a must for marriage
When Liu Ming first heard the amount of the bride price, he was very excited. He said that his parents were farmers and he had exhausted all his energy to study and could not afford the money. I didn't have much savings after only two years of work.
When Zhang Ting’s mother told him that according to local custom, the man would usually send the betrothal gift at the engagement ceremony, and the woman would return it as a dowry when they got married. Some families would post a part of it, but Zhang Ting’s only For a daughter, this gift is not necessary for him, but the relatives in the family are watching, so the gift is absolutely necessary.
After hearing these words, Liu Ming immediately stated that he hadn't considered it well.It made Zhang Ting embarrassed and promised to treat her well in the future and honor her mother together.
At the engagement ceremony, Liu Ming really raised 188,000, and he also exchanged it for cash and sent it with a big red plate. And Liu Ming's parents also repeatedly expressed their gratitude to Zhang Ting's mother, saying that she provided a wedding room to solve their big problem. They also said that after the children get married in the future, they will not disturb the life of the young couple. Liu Ming is her son and let her call at will.
The reasonableness of Liu Ming's family made Zhang Ting's mother start to waver. She felt that Liu Ming, a child with outstanding appearance and decent work, seemed to be too harsh on him. It's a pity that this good impression didn't last long, and the marriage between Zhang Ting and Liu Ming was completely impaired because of the house.
04 Because the marriage in the house is completely out of order
Originally, both parties agreed that the woman provided the house and the man was responsible for the decoration. But after Liu Ming brought the decoration company to see the house, there was no news. At first, he said that he didn't have much money on hand, and he certainly couldn't pretend the style that Zhang Ting liked, and didn't want to wrong her. So Zhang Ting's mother stated that she would just let him play the hard pretend, and she would pay for the soft pretend behind, so that he would not be stressed.
But after a period of time, the house was still quiet. Under questioning, Liu Ming told Zhang Ting that his father was ill, and all his savings were used to treat his father's illness, so he couldn't afford to spend any money.
Knowing that her in-laws is sick, Zhang Ting's mother hurriedly bought a lot of gifts, and Zhang Luo wanted to visit Liu Ming's father. In the end, he quickly said no, and found a bunch of reasons why the rural roads are not easy to walk, and the environment is simple and the hospitality is not good, so they are not allowed to visit...
This National Day, Zhang Ting’s mother Invite Liu Ming to come to the house for dinner and discuss the details of the house decoration by the way. This time, Liu Ming still came empty-handed. Zhang Ting’s mother, who was already holding fire, said directly: “. You are responsible for the decoration. ”
Under this pressure,Liu Ming also thoroughly said his true words: "Don't you think of me as a fool. Isn't it enough for the bride price to accompany you on the show? The house also wants to cheat me. This is pre-marital property, and it has nothing to do with me. No, I have money and I will not go to decorate."
After hearing these words, Zhang Ting finally woke up completely. She said that since she was so wronged with herself, there is no need to end the marriage.
05 A good marriage must talk about money
Jane Austen said in "Pride and Prejudice": "A marriage that only considers money is absurd, and a marriage that does not consider money is stupid."
Money is a tacky word, but it can see the future of marriage. The economic base determines the superstructure, and feelings that do not have a monetary base to support it are like a castle in the sky, which will collapse suddenly without knowing when.
If a man is full of sweet talks to you, but he always makes careful calculations on the issue of money, then you have to weigh carefully whether the other party really loves you.
After all, if it sounds good, everyone will say that the so-called mountain alliance can come by opening one's mouth, but only in the face of the most realistic problems can a person reveal his truest nature.
A man who wants to live with you will take the initiative to talk about money with you and is willing to spend money for you. In this regard, he doesn't like to care about it, because he thinks that you can live with him for a lifetime; and There is also a kind of man, he is with you, he is not willing to spend a penny, every account must be calculated clearly, for fear that you will take advantage of him, such a man, you married him, also There won't be a good life.
It is a very realistic thing for two people to live together. Wishful thinking will not be exchanged for a lifetime together, and money is the most concrete test of feelings.
picture comes from the Internet, invaded and deleted.
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