Many people have a kind of "good old man" attribute. He is not a troublemaker himself. When he encounters a person who cares about and loves to make troubles, he subconsciously forbearance, even if he suffers a bit of a loss, he still has to maintain his outward harmony.
When couples get along, many women also have this problem. When two people must make sacrifices by one of them, a man will rightly ask the woman to sacrifice. Women are unwilling to quarrel with men. They are afraid of hurting their peace and compromise. For the sake of family harmony, they gradually become less and less spineless.
If you don’t go head-to-head, you will get a moment of peace, but it will suppress many negative emotions in your heart, making conflicts and barriers deeper and deeper. Women should protect their rights. Don't let men think that women should be the ones who have been sacrificing.
If two people can't live their lives single-mindedly, there will be a lot of psychological imbalance. If two people become an AA marriage, thinking that this will protect each other's interests, then the marriage will be like a prison, the relationship is gone, and the intimate relationship must be maintained.
The relationship between two people is very awkward,It is said that they are husband and wife, but they will not treat each other even for their birthdays. said that they are tenants living under the same roof, but legally, they are a whole.
The AA system has been around for a long time. In fact, it cannot protect the rights and interests of two people, but will make the quality of marriage worse and worse. can’t trust each other and don’t want to make sacrifices for each other. Such a marriage should not be maintained.
After Wenxin and Minglin got married, in order to be fair, they tried AA marriage, but the relationship was getting worse and worse. It was too late to terminate the AA system.
AA marriage.
Wenxin is a primary school teacher and doesn’t make much money. But she is the only child in the family, and her parents are both civil servants, her mother is retired, and her father is still working. There are two houses at home. When they get married, the young couple want to live in one, but the warm meaning is that the house can live, but the real estate certificate is still the name of the parents.
This arrangement made Minglin have great opinions.He gave a gift of 100,000 yuan, paid to renovate the house, and purchased electrical appliances and furniture. He thinks this house should be the name of the young couple, so it is fair.
I feel that this matter can’t be calculated so clearly. They are all a family. If Minglin treats her well, she is the only child. Sooner or later, the house will be owned by the couple. There is no need to worry. However, Minglin said that if his name is not on the real estate certificate, the marriage will not be married.
The two were in a stalemate. Finally, such a decision was negotiated. After the marriage, the two couples implement the AA system. The house is the name of the warm parents, but Minglin's 100,000 yuan gift must be returned. Two people pay half of the money for decoration and purchase of furniture. In the future, they will also pay half of all expenses. This is reasonable.
Two people got married with such an agreement. After marriage, they found that even if the AA system was established, it would not be 100% fair. For example, on birthdays of the elderly on both sides, the son-in-law buys some gifts for the father-in-law and mother-in-law, and can no longer reach out and ask the wife to reimburse him. In the same way, the daughter-in-law will also contribute money and effort if the parents-in-law have something to do.
Also, two people now dare not have children, because they can't figure out how to AA from pregnancy to birth, and later raising children. originally two people are quite confused,There is also discussion, and feelings are still OK. Because of a few things later, the two fell out completely.
Warm and sick, went to the hospital to get a bottle for examination, tossing for nearly a week, Minglin ran before and after running, moved her heart. But as soon as she returned home from the hospital, Ming Lin put all the receipts of her hospitalization in front of her warmly.
Minglin said: " spent a total of more than 8,000, and actually spent more than 3,900 after the reimbursement. I went back and forth and consumed a lot of gasoline. False. You can make a whole and give me four thousand dollars ".
was warm and touched at first, but Minglin's behavior made her feel completely cold, and she gave Minglin all the money. Although there was no noise, the two of them hadn't talked much for many days, and they were obviously getting more and more apart. Two people talk less and less, and they don’t even communicate for ten and a half months. The two have also separated, and the relationship has dropped to a freezing point.
wait for money to help.
I felt that when the two of them were just about to apply for a divorce certificate, they received a call from their husband. They were angry and smelled like gunpowder: " My mother was living in the ICU and was waiting for money to save her life.You also spent 50,000 to take your mother on a trip! "Replied warmly and indifferently: " did I violate the AA system? ”
Minglin hung up the phone, and after a while, he called again, and he said, “I’m , when I’m sick, You are very angry, but, as you said, I am also implementing the AA system. This system has made our relationship problems more and more serious. In fact, it should have been abolished long ago, don't you think? Life is at stake, so don't be angry at this time. The previous things are all over. Let’s abolish the AA system first and take care of the patients first, okay? "
warmly said:" why not cancel the AA system when I am sick, and cancel it when you need me? When I was sick, I had no money, delayed work, and had a hard life. I borrowed money from a friend to get your four thousand yuan. Now, you should do the same. I won’t go back, and I don’t have to cancel the AA system. If you can live, you will get divorced if you can’t live ".
The attitude of his wife makes Minglin angry. And this time,There was bad news from the ward, and there was no need to raise money. Minglin's mother had a heart attack, and other conditions suddenly deteriorated. She had not been rescued and had passed away.
Minglin lost his dearest person in the world and was in grief for a while. And the warm mother persuaded her to go back and have a look. She did not get divorced one day, and she was still Minglin's daughter-in-law, so she should go and do her last filial piety to the elderly. Wen Wen bought a return ticket and appeared at the funeral.
After finishing the old man’s funeral, the two decided to sit down and talk. Minglin said: " mother passed away, and there is one missing family member. I thought for a long time, we two still have a relationship foundation. It is the present situation that we do not manage the relationship well. Let us return to the best. At the beginning, I don’t mention any AA system anymore. Is it okay to start again? ”
warmly said:“ can’t go back, we’re doing too much of each other’s things. If there are too many, you may be able to not resent each other, but it is too difficult to continue to love each other. It is better to let each other go and find a good relationship. ”
Ming Lin doesn't want to just give up, although There is indeed a lot of grievances between the two people,But it's all because of money. If you don't value money so much, but manage your relationship from the beginning, you can still feel the warmth between each other.
Warm suddenly feels that Minglin is a bit pitiful, if he is really divorced, Minglin really has nothing. But there is no love in her heart, and it is not appropriate to continue marriage for the sake of sympathy. She wants to give Minglin some more time, this matter will eventually have a result.
AA system is not the killer of marriage, selfishness is.
The AA system means protecting each other, but in fact it means no longer giving affection. If you really love someone, you have no ability to think. Many people find that they are a very sensible person, but if they happen to meet a person, they can make love regardless of their interests or even their lives. As long as the other person can smile, his world will have color and sunshine.
AA system is not the root of the problem, the root of the problem is not enough love.
If you don’t love each other enough, you will only consider your interests.Will consider whether he has suffered. Therefore, when you enter marriage, you must have a deeper relationship. Only then can the problems between the two people be resolved patiently, and when conflicts arise, they can stand on the other side's position and think about it.
I am willing to give everything for you and give the best things. You can also choose to give while getting. This is called loving each other.
People who love each other, if the AA system, hope to leave more good things to each other, hide the bad side, and prevent the other person from worrying. Be habitual to protect the other party, do not want the other party to pay, but consider how to give.
If you love someone, it doesn’t matter what system you are, and you’re not afraid of any kind of relationship. I am afraid of not loving enough at all, but I am afraid of loving each other a little more.
Today’s topic:
Do you think the AA system has a big impact on marriage?
Welcome to leave a message and talk about your views.
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