Marriage cannot withstand the toss. If you want to be happy, you must take good care of your marriage.
01
I am 40 years old and have been married to my husband for 13 years. I have one child, one daughter and two children.
We were originally a happy family of four, and we have always been envied by others.
Although there are occasional conflicts between my husband and I, there has never been a big quarrel.
Generally, when there are conflicts, they end up with the husband’s concession and apology.
At first, I took care of my children full-time at home, but later the children went to school a little older, and I also got a job.
Although we can't say how rich we are economically, we basically have no worries about food and clothing.
The family is happy, with both children, there are no major conflicts between husband and wife, and there is not much financial pressure.
It stands to reason that this kind of life can be considered very happy, and it should be content.
But maybe I am in the blessing and do not know the blessing, or I have been living this kind of life without realizing its preciousness.
In short, I didn't cherish this happy life, I didn't cherish this happy family.
02
Two years ago, a divorced man appeared in my life.
and his acquaintance were accidental, originally I didn't think much about it.
However, he took care of me, contacting me frequently and asking me for dinner.
At first I thought it was just a communication between ordinary friends, and I didn't refuse it.
But in the process of communication, he was very gentle and considerate to me, and cared about me very much.
He also often expresses his appreciation and praise for me,Praise me for being attractive and different.
Women may like to hear others say that they look good. Although I know he is exaggerated, I still chuckle inwardly.
With more and more contact, my feelings for him gradually changed.
And in his interactions with me, his expression became more and more direct and eager.
In this way, the ambiguity between us is getting stronger and stronger.
Actually, I was aware of the problem and realized what might happen next.
However, I did not take any measures to prevent the development of the situation.
03
Even, I still really enjoy this strong ambiguity, and my heart is extremely excited.
Finally, I finally had a relationship with the divorced man and I cheated.
At the beginning of the derailment, although I also faintly harbor some anxiety and guilt.
But this feeling was quickly replaced by another, more intense and unstoppable excitement.
Later, I recalled that I felt as if I lost my mind at the time and fell into madness.
But something happened some time ago deeply irritated me and made me regret my behavior.
The other day I was chatting with my girlfriend, and she told me that her cousin was divorced.
As for the reason, her cousin's cheating was discovered by her husband and she resolutely divorced.
After the divorce, even her cousin wouldn't let her children look at her, so small children cried to find their mother every day.
And her cousin’s husband told the child that your mother ran away with another man.
When I heard my girlfriend talk about this, my heart suddenly fell into an ice cave.
04
At that moment, I seemed to feel that the same fate would happen to me.
I realized how stupid my behavior is,What a serious harm it will bring to the children and the family.
I know I can't go on like this anymore, and I can't let my children experience the harm of losing their entire family.
But when I told my lover to end this relationship, he didn't agree.
At first he begged me to keep me, and even cried, telling me not to leave him.
However, after seeing my firm attitude, he changed his appearance and started threatening and intimidating me.
He said that if I dared to separate from him, he would make everyone aware of our affairs.
I really can't believe that he would treat me like this, he turned out to be such a sinister and vicious person.
But I was frightened by him. I was afraid that he would really do something extreme.
Now I can barely deal with him, but every day I am afraid, I don't know what to do to get rid of him.
As I said:
1. Marriage needs to be cherished
People are most afraid of being in the blessings, but having the most precious things. But don't know how to cherish.
A person who does not know how to cherish will dismiss what he has and feel indifferent.
With this kind of mentality, I don't realize that I am happy, and I don't realize how hard-won my marriage is.
Those couples who can live together and grow old together, what is it that supports them to experience the wind and rain together?
is to cherish each other, cherish the fate of meeting and knowing each other, cherish the feelings between each other, and cherish the family that has finally been built together.
Only if you know how to cherish, you will love your partner and your family with your heart.
Only in this way can marriage be long-lasting in the baptism of life.
2. Marriage needs self-restraint
Why does marriage need self-restraint? Because once you become a husband and wife,Each other has certain obligations and responsibilities.
Both spouses should maintain loyalty and respect to each other and have the obligation of loyalty.
Since you are obligated, you should restrain your behavior and not allow yourself to violate the obligation of loyalty to each other, and not violate your love vows when you get married.
Why is there a marriage law? It clarifies the obligations of both spouses to each other and clarifies which behaviors are not allowed.
The so-called restraint is to fulfill one's own obligations while preventing those actions that are not allowed. Once
loses its constraints, it becomes reckless. What should be done is not done, and what should not be done is getting worse.
A person who has no self-discipline in marriage is destined to break up the marriage.
3. Women should be vigilant in the face of extramarital temptation
An extramarital man, knowing that you are married, he also deliberately approached you. A man like
can't be purposeless, can't be pure-minded.
He is gentle to you, caring and considerate to you, and talking sweetly to you. These seemingly affectionate behaviors are actually evil.
Do you think he really feels that you are different and that you are attractive?
is just using these rhetoric to deceive you and disturb your xinxing.
The same thing, he would say to any woman who can make him desire.
The sober woman ignores him, but the confused woman believes that she has entered his trap.
Therefore, married women must remain vigilant in the face of extramarital temptations. Otherwise, it will be yourself that will be injured in the end.
4. Extramarital affairs is a way of no return
Extramarital affairs is a way of no return. There is no doubt about this.
Even if the Dongchuang incident has not yet occurred, people who are in extramarital affairs may have suffered a lot, just like the situation mentioned above.
Although the fact of cheating has not been discovered by her husband,But the torture that I have endured has already made people miserable.
Many women who are in extramarital affairs suffer the same pain and torture from their lovers.
Once you set foot on this road, it is impossible to retreat all over, and you will almost be tortured for half your life.
This can be said to be a self-defeating road. The further you go on this road, the more complete the destruction will be.
5. To break up with your lover, you must have the courage and determination of a strong man to break his wrist
In response to the situation mentioned above, this lover will definitely not let go.
If you are frightened by him and continue to maintain a relationship with him, one day will be revealed.
Once that day comes, it's useless to explain anything by yourself, and it's hard for my husband to believe it.
Moreover, the longer you entangle this person, the more harm you will do to yourself.
The more afraid he is, the more he grasps his weakness, the more unscrupulous he is, and the more miserable he is.
So you have to be tough and let him feel that you have saved your money. At all costs, he must be completely disconnected from him before he can give up.
And, like his behavior, it is completely possible to call the police and let him be punished.
Conclusion: Marriage is not easy, do it and cherish it!
I am just like that. If you are experiencing emotional distress, you can communicate with me.
About myself: Really, straightforward, no routine.
I am suitable for analyzing the problem, but I will not help you make a decision. I will only give you a reference.
I do not promise to help you recover, and even in many cases I will advise you to let go, because some people are really not worth recovering.
If a relationship makes you miserable, then the relationship must be problematic. Either seek change or let it go decisively.
and above, thank you for your attention.
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