sets the divorce cooling-off period , which is indeed a good move. In fact, many couples have similar experiences. Originally, they wanted to communicate peacefully, but the more they talked, the more angry they became. In the end, they broke up unhappy, and even divorced because of this.
Why is it so difficult for the other half to communicate? Is the opponent a Martian? In fact, this is the result of communication differences. It wasn't until I read "Understanding the Other Half" that I realized it.
"Understanding the Other Half" is the work of American linguist Deborah Tynan. Once the book was published, it often ranked first in the New York Times bestseller list for 8 months and was translated as 13 Languages, with audiences all over the world. I think this book is so popular because of the following three reasons:
It hits the pain points of married people and is helpful to improve the marriage relationship
People who enter the marriage palace have the best wishes, but often things go against their wishes. In marriage, we will find that there are many times when we disagree with the other half. In the quarrel, the two people's hearts are farther and farther apart, and the marriage was originally happy. It has also become a chicken feather.
Many times we can't figure out why the other half has turned into an abominable appearance. In fact, no one has changed, but we have never found the right way to understand the other party and understand the true intention of the other party.
It just so happens that the book "Understanding the Other Half" explains the reasons why there are differences in communication between men and women from the perspective of popular science. It makes us realize that in order to communicate effectively, we must find the inner purpose.
This book is divided into ten chapters : different discourses, different worlds; inequality: the purpose of communication between the two sexes is at odds; "put down the newspaper and talk to me": emotional and report communication; gossip: female friendship The essence and obligation of "Listen to you": preaching and listening; community awareness and competition: the conflict of communication methods; who interrupts who speaks: dominance and control issues; dilemma: women judged by male standards ; "When I speak to you,Look at me": gender is even worse than age difference.
Through careful study of these ten chapters, and then check the questions that arise in daily marriage, you will find that almost all the phenomena mentioned in the book are in real life. It is possible to encounter, this is precisely one of the advantages of this book, and it is much more effective to prescribe the right medicine than to follow the book.
The viewpoint is novel, and the reasons for the disagreement are mentioned from multiple perspectives.
The book also A notable feature is that it not only explained the reasons for the differences in communication between men and women from a scientific point of view, but also talked about the different perspectives of thinking under different cultural backgrounds.
In this regard, it reminds me of a series that I have watched before. "Cultivation of a Fighting Nation", this story explains the huge differences in people’s thinking and working styles under different cultural backgrounds. One of the sections is very impressive, the male protagonist Alek Si was sent to work in Russia by an American newspaper, where he met his true love Ania. In order to confess to Ania, he showed Ania his medical report to prove that he was decent and free from sexually transmitted diseases. I hope Ania will also give him a medical report. His actions angered Ania and drove him out of the house.
This story is a typical case of poor communication caused by cultural differences. At the same time, it reflects the content of the second chapter of the book The purpose of communication between the sexes is different. In Alex’s view, he intends to develop a stable relationship between men and women, and may even talk about it. Marriage is about marriage, so when he presents his health report, on the one hand, he wants to let the other person see his sincerity, and on the other hand, he wants the other person to know his own qualities. At the same time, this is a common practice among Americans, and no one Feeling offended, but Ania was furious when she saw it. Obviously she thinks Alexis is questioning her character.
In this regard, there are indeed conflicting goals in the communication between the sexes, just like in the book. The case mentioned: Masha bought a computer and had a completely different experience when she met male and female employees.Male employees make Martha feel like an idiot, while female employees fundamentally solve the difficulties Martha encountered, because it is better to teach him how to fish than to teach him from the perspective of men. In fact, women prefer to be intuitive. help. Therefore, it is easy to understand why the other half of us does not meet our expectations in real life.
The enlightenment of malleable content to real life
If "Understanding the Other Half" only focuses on marriage and emphasizes the importance of communication, then he has nothing unique, precisely because He extended the reasons for the differences between the sexes to impress readers even more. The sixth chapter of the gossip: The essence and obligation of friendship between female friends is very close to the real life of women, and it is easy to resonate. In real life, women’s friendship is maintained mostly by exchanging secrets to generate empathy, while men rarely talk to each other and complain about the injustices encountered in work. This is indeed caused by the different styles of men and women.
In the sixth chapter of this book, we also mentioned a phenomenon: Many women mistakenly think that accommodating each other can promote family harmony, but in fact men don’t think so. They think it’s a choice you made yourself, precisely because of this. This kind of cognitive difference, when women feel angry that they have paid a lot but are not treated equally, men’s reactions are particularly chilling to women, while women are angry because of this, and men feel inexplicable.
Some people say that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Is the difference between the two sexes so huge and difficult to communicate? Not necessarily, when you understand this book and find a method that suits you, you will surely be able to fix communication barriers and find the password to happiness.
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