A male fan left a message in the background: I am thirty this year, and have talked about a few love affairs in the past few years, but in the end they all ended with the sentence "I don't think we should be together". I don't understand. I have a handsome appearance, a tall stature, a stable job, and a decent income. But why do love affair always end in failure? Why are these girls I fell in love with not for me? I would like to ask the consultant of Xia Anjia, how to break this vicious circle?
The analysis of home consultants:
Recently I saw a set of data, China has more than 200 million single 1span groups of . Heart-pounding love, a happy, never-forsaken marriage, are still the pursuit of many people.
Visitors claim that they have a handsome appearance, a strong physique, a stable job, and a decent income, but these are just biological attraction and material attraction, which is called infatuation in psychology. That is to say, you have a strong attraction to girls, and the love between you is strong and joyful, and the world is thundering.
However, this fascination does not last forever, just like the sand on the beach, it heats fast and colds fast.
People often envy celebrities’ love of talented women and golden girls, they also lament the vigorous and heart-wrenching love of their friends, but they have been envious of them for a long time. The husband and wife are drifting away due to various reasons,Even parting ways, people can't help but sigh with emotion: if life is just like first time.
Love is not only the sprout of love at first sight, nor the passion of the first joy of love. The same is true for marriage.
Everyone says "Men are afraid of going into the wrong line, women are afraid of marrying the wrong man!", so for women, marrying the right person will usually get happiness. If you marry the wrong person, the woman will lose. Great youth.
Therefore, when a woman chooses a marriage partner, in addition to external conditions and hard conditions such as income, she also values a man's character.
What kind of character does that man have to make girls fall in love with him?
First of all, equality and respect. Although the wealth status is right, the matching of beauty and handsomeness is generally valued by people, but the equality of the spiritual world is more important.
Just imagine, in the balance of love, if there is no equality, it is not true love. If one party is arrogant to the other because of its relatively low status and status, and on the other hand becomes servile and loses independent and equal personality in front of him, then the balance of love will tilt, and if things go on like this, love will die.
For example,Nowadays, some patriarchs ask their wives to quit their jobs and become full-time wives at home, taking care of children and the elderly wholeheartedly. But many years later, these men ignored the sacrifices and sacrifices their wives had made for the family, and they cheated on their wives, causing great harm to their wives, and even the family was fragmented.
Second, a sense of responsibility. Looking at the present love, there are not many men who are truly responsible and daring to take responsibility. Some men even regard feelings as child's play and hurt many women's hearts.
used to be the top of the entertainment industry Luhan is a representative of a responsible man. When Lu Han was popular, he risked losing followers and officially announced that he was in love with Guan Xiaotong . He admitted his girlfriend openly and gave Guan Xiaotong a great sense of security.
Although some female fans could not accept this reality and lost a lot of followers in the early days of the relationship, the two still stuck to each other's hearts and did not break up due to external pressure.
This kind of responsible practice is more responsible than those in the entertainment industry who deny or conceal a relationship in order to keep their position. .
third, real. modern society,Many adults wear masks to live, and what they show on the outside is not the real self, which is called sociality in psychology.
However, in the relationship between two people, only when one person truly expresses his emotions, can the other person truly understand what the other person wants, and know whether each other is the one that the other person is looking for The right person can consolidate love.
star Qi Wei , because he is known in the circle for his straightforward temperament, he is called Qi brother. Lee Seung Hyun responded in an interview. At the beginning, she chose to be with Qi Wei. One of the reasons was because she was so real. Unlike some girls, she doesn’t express her true thoughts directly, but you have to guess and go. I guess that sometimes I even irritate her without knowing where, and I feel very tired.
Similarly, if a girl finds that the boy is hypocritical and untrue in the relationship, she will not continue to date. Data shows that partners who have had real quarrels in the early stages of the relationship tend to live happily later.
fourth, kindness. Writer Chai Jing said that kindness is one tree shaking another tree, one cloud touching another cloud, one soul awakening another soul.
Although kindness is no longer a commendatory word for some people in today's society, it is a rare quality.
There is a touching segment in "Jane Eyre",When a raging fire broke out in the manor, the male protagonist Rochester, regardless of personal safety, knocked on the room one by one to let the servants of the family evacuate quickly, and took his sick wife away from the fire scene, even though he knew that the fire was his wife. Lit.
Fifth, profound knowledge and ability to control the situation. Although knowledge may not change destiny, but without knowledge, it must not change destiny.
Buffett said in "A Letter to Your Daughter": The best spouse should be your ally on the battlefield of life. The most important thing is the conversation, knowledge and control of the situation. Ability, don't underestimate these, such a partner is hard to meet.
Finally, the spiritual pursuit. The lofty state of love is to focus on the soul and the resonance of the spiritual world.
Regardless of love or marriage, it is like two people supporting each other to climb a ladder. When one is in difficulty, the other will help each other to climb up. If one side is up and the other side just looks up, it will only drift away. Only when the heights of the two people are the same, can they support the other when it is difficult.
"Jane Eyre" said,Love is a game, and only if you are evenly matched with each other forever, can you be dependent on each other forever.
May this male fan, in his future life, cultivate his own qualities and find someone who can hold hands with you for the rest of his life as soon as possible. If you need help, please come to Anjia for consultation.
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