Author/Tongyu
01.
I saw a mother’s confession in .
She has two children, one son and one daughter. The daughter is the eldest of the family. She believes that in the growth process of the two children, she has tried her best to make a bowl of water smooth, eat, drink and wear. There are no exceptions for the two children. She has never been partial to the love of her two children.
Except for one thing, when children grow up, they are planning for their future.
She and her husband are going to buy a car for their son without a house, but they are not going to buy it for their daughter. First, they are not able to afford two sets. Second, they have always believed that they should buy a house for their son, because it is difficult for a son to marry a wife without a house. But the daughter is different. The daughter is married and can live in the man’s house.
Her daughter was very dissatisfied, saying that they are patriarchs like this, so why did they buy everything for her brother, but she is also a child, but she has to rely on herself for everything. She said: "In fact, we still prepared a dowry of 100,000 yuan for her."
Obviously, her daughter is not satisfied with this amount of money. Her daughter's point of view is : Are all children,Then I also have the things my brother has. Otherwise, I won't buy them for my brother. 100,000 yuan dowry relative to the garage, which is lighter and heavier at a glance.
She was taken aback by her daughter's thoughts and thought she had read so many books, which was totally unreasonable. And her daughter thinks that herself has read so many books that she understands that she can't be a helper, and at the same time, she must fight for her own benefits. Why should she give in in vain? This is what I deserve.
They are very unhappy because of this. The daughter also said that if they insist on doing this, then she will deny them and will not support them in the future. Anyway, they rely on their sons and only plan for their sons. Past her daughter. As a mother, she is very heartbroken. In her opinion: "I gave birth to you to raise you, and spent more than 300,000 yuan for your graduate school. You only remember that we are patriarchal and want to sever relations?"
02.
The patriarchal patriarchy is a topic that is frequently discussed nowadays.
Due to the influence of traditional thinking, many people of the previous generation had certain prejudices in their attitudes towards sons and daughters. thinks that the daughter is married out and the water is thrown out, and the son is married in, is a person who can really rely on when he stays at home ,So I put more hope and energy on my son, and I want to leave everything I have to my son.
I remember that there was a woman in my hometown who wanted to have a son all the time, so that after giving birth to 6 daughters, she got her wish and stopped giving birth.
Nowadays, with the awakening of female consciousness, many people are beginning to face this matter, especially for girls born in patriarchal families, may take a lifetime to heal the original family The damage caused. They are calling for and want to change this situation.
First of all, patriarchy is definitely wrong. They are all their own children. If the eccentricity is too obvious, this is a parent's negligence. Of course, many parents are limited by their own thoughts and do not even realize that there is something wrong with their behavior.
My mother has a friend, she is the kind of person who is more patriarchal. After giving birth to two daughters, the third child is a son. Since childhood, she’s not good, but she rarely cares about her daughters. , Do not let them study too much, saying that it is useless for girls to read so many books, and in the end it is not about marrying someone else.
No matter how bad her son's grades are, she still wants to send her son to school and ask him to read more books.
It can be said that at least half of all the things her son has in his growing up career are the credit of the two sisters. Both of her daughters went out to work after graduating from junior high school.Many of the previous years of income were given to their adults, and only a small part of their living expenses were kept. The last two daughters got married and each asked for a gift of 100,000 yuan, but the dowries only had a few quilts. This money plus the money earned by the daughter before the marriage, she took the full money to buy a house for her son.
So, after her two daughters got married, they didn't come back much. She and her two daughters are not very close, just like this kind of communication between relatives in general.
This is a typical patriarchal patriarch, and it can be said to be played to the extreme. The daughter is only used as a springboard for the son to pave the way for the son.
Obviously, as a mother, she is not qualified.
03.
However, what I want to say is that if anything goes too far, you can only interpret four words in a relationship. If it is profitable, then it will inevitably become a refined and pure egoist.
Carefully analyze the example before starting.
From the perspective of this mother, she believes that the reasons for her disappointment are: When her daughter is 26 years old, they did not eat less, wear less, or treat her harshly. In terms of studying, my daughter has been in graduate school, not to mention other expenses. They spent at least more than 300,000 yuan on studying alone.Raising her daughter and cultivating her to become a talent, she thinks she has done it.
Her view has always been that when a child wants to read, she will send it wherever she reads, but if she can’t read it, she definitely won’t force it. Therefore, her son will certainly not have as many daughters in school, and his son's grades are not as good as his daughter, and he is not prepared for graduate school.
Her daughter’s attitude is: This is my own hard work. If my brother can study, wouldn’t you give it away? The two years I read more are not your partial rhetoric.
She believes that she and her husband have worked hard all their lives, This is the money they earn, and she has the right to decide how to allocate to buy cars for her sons. They did nothing wrong in doing so. After raising her daughter and raising her into a talent, their responsibilities have been fulfilled, and she needs to go the rest of the way by herself. They only have this ability.
However, from the perspective of her daughter, she definitely has to plan for herself, hoping that her parents can give a higher starting line and achieve the greatest material satisfaction, especially under the premise of having a younger brother as a reference. does not suffer from lack and unevenness. This is the truth.
By the way, as parents, although they did not have a good balance to a certain extent in the end, , but it cannot be ignored that the grace of nurturing is always objective, and no one can ignore this. I also met some people in my life,When they talk about the topic of preference for sons and daughters, especially when their parents only buy a house for their younger brother but not for themselves, they subconsciously ignore the gift of nurturing itself and only care about interests.
This is definitely not right.
In short, if your parents raised you, if you didn't treat you badly or excessively criticize you in the process, then when you grow up, this kindness should not be buried, and you should be rewarded. This is the conscience and morality that everyone should have, nothing else.
What do you think about this issue? Are parents who only buy houses for their sons unworthy of their daughter's filial piety?
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